Monday, August 16, 2010
The Pyros hit at the top of the ramp all the way down to the ring and on the ring posts as Crucifiction begins. The crowd are going bonkers all over the arena and there isn't a fan in his seat in this packed 17500 person arena.
Joey Styles: “Welcome everyone to yet another action packed Crucifiction like only the VWF can produce! I’m Joey Styles and here with me is…has anyone ever told you you look like Joel Gertner?”
P. Lickin’: “Has anyone ever told you you look like and sound like Brainy Smurf?”
Joey Styles: “Why thank you.”
P. Lickin’: “Minus the brains.”
Joey Styles: “Go take a long walk off a short pier.”
P. Lickin’: “Funny you say that. I just noticed something.”
Joey Styles: “What’s that?’
P. Lickin’: “There are two things that I’ve never heard said in the same sentence before; ‘short’ and anything that’s associated with me. In fact, your mom just told me last night that she’s never seen nor has she ever felt such a biiig…”
Joey Styles: “IF YOU missed it last night…”
**--Joey gives P the death stare--**
P. Lickin’: “What? I’m just going off of what your mom told me last night.”
Joey Styles: “Alright, number one I hope a truck runs you over when you’re walking over to your car after the show. And number two, we’re trying to run a family show here, so let’s try to get it a little more…PG.”
P. Lickin’: “PG?!”
Joey Styles: “Yeah! What’s wrong with that?”
P. Lickin’: “Gay.”
**--Again, Joey gives him the death stare--**
P. Lickin’: “It doesn’t work from your mom, what makes you think it’s gonna work from you?”
Joey Styles: “Anyway, if you missed Bloodlust 11 last night, you missed a HUGE night! As always, it was a night filled with the greatest wrestling that this business has to offer.”
P. Lickin’: “Your mom…”
Joey Styles: “DREAMS were broken, destinies were fulfilled and Masked Bastards became just bastards.”
P. Lickin’: “So was your…”
Joey Styles: “BUT the one thing that topped it all off was the press conference after the show. The Viking King made a huge announcement in regards to tonight’s Crucifiction.”
P. Lickin’: “It’s been said that my…”
Joey Styles: “THE VIKING King announced that there will be a Triple Main Event all featuring the former masked assailant, Scott DiBiase will defend all three of his Championships here tonight. First off he’ll be defending his Britannia Heavyweight Championship against a ‘blue chipper’ as someone would call him, ‘Marvelous’ Mark Ellingswoth. He and Jason Lee will defend their World Tag Team Championships against The Rasslin’ Rangers, Black Black Ranger and Lightning Yellow Ranger. And then, in the final Main Event match, he’ll be defending his Eurocontinental Championship against Lee Ryan. But that’s not all.”
P. Lickin’: “That’s what she said. Ha ha! Got that one in there.”
Joey Styles: “You’re such an idiot.”
P. Lickin’: “Yeah? Well if I’m an idiot, then why does your mom keep begging me to come back to her house and make love to her like the real quintessential lover that I am? It’s because I’m the original genetic freak! My meat rod is so big it makes a thoroughbred horse blush. It’s SO big that I could be making love to your mom and make your sister scream in ecstasy. It’s so BIG that it can be seen from outer space. THAT my friend is the reason why your mom won’t leave me the hell alone! Sometimes I feel so cursed having something that I’ve been so blessed with. What’s the matter Joey? Cat got your tongue?”
**--Joey hasn’t been able to do anything but sit there with his arms crossed like a little kid at the playground that got his lunchbox taken away from him. P. Lickin reaches under the broadcast table and wiggles the power cord to Joey’s headphones that he had secretly pulled out. Joey snatches it out of Lickin’s hand.--**
P. Lickin’: “Ha! He said ‘snatch’ and ‘lickin.’ How do you like all THAT for PG Joey?! Huh? You can take this PG crap and stick it up your GD ass! How do you like them apples?”
Joey Styles: “I hate you and why do you seem so testy tonight?”
P. Lickin’: “Your mom’s on the rag.”
Joey Styles: “Can’t you find some other whore to play with? Wait. MOM! I did not call you a whore!”
P. Lickin’: “Oh yes you did! And besides, your Mom is the only one that I’ve found that doesn’t have a problem with taking such a monster. If you know what I mean.”
Joey Styles: “Anyway! The other announcement that The Viking King made was the fact that He gave Alexia and the VWF World Champion, the night off tonight.”
P. Lickin’: “WHAT?! How fair is that Styles?! He gives the most overrated Star in the VWF, Jonny Cedrone the night off but He makes Scott DiBiase wrestle three matches in a row, just because he decided to run around in a ski mask for a while? I mean c’mon. If I got in trouble every time I wore a ski mask…nevermind.”
Joey Styles: “Please.”
P. Lickin’: “I hope the Mega Zord crushes your car again.”
Joey Styles: “Impossible this time. I’ve got The Club.”
P. Lickin’: “That’s not what SHE said.”
Joey Styles: “The cameras were able to catch up with our World Champion after the huge Pay Per View last night and I have to say, he was none too happy.”
**--The scene cuts to a recording of last night after the Press Conference. Sitting outside the Long Beach Arena, a camera is watching the personnel door. It’s dark outside with just the street lights’ glow illuminating nothing much at all. Busting through the door comes a very angry, yet very well dressed VWF World Champion. The fans sitting outside, waiting to see their favorite wrestlers make their exit from the arena, begin to cheer at the sight of their World Champion but uncharacteristically, Cedrone almost seems to not see his cheering public. He continues down the sidewalk with his head hung in disappointment.--**
Cedrone: “Get the camera out of my face Bacon.”
Bacon: “But I want to get your comments about just went down.”
Cedrone: “Not now Bacon.”
Bacon: “But Jonny, I…”
Cedrone: “You want comments?! I’ll give you comments! For a full year we have been under siege by a masked assailant! Night after night, show after show, this Masked Bastard played with our minds. ‘Was he goin’ to attack tonight? Who is he gonna attack tonight?’ At the slightest little bump, the slightest quick movement of someone in the back, we would jerk our heads around to see if it was him. We never knew when or how he was goin’ to attack. Finally Vikin’ King got enough of it, put him in a match with two of the biggest stars here in the Vikin’ Wrestlin’ Federation, inside a steel cage at that, and stated that the Masked Bastard WILL be unmasked one way or another.”
“After a year long mystery cloaked hysteria of not knowin’ who it is or where he came from…we have now met the enemy and he is one of us.”
“Scott DiBiase, you and I never saw eye to eye. We’ve never been friends and in fact, our li’l feud have gone on ever since you’ve gotten INTO the Vikin’ Wrestlin’ Federation. So why didn’t I suspect it to be you? Well I thought that even though we weren’t friends, even though we never did get ta see eye ta eye, I was thinkin’ that we had that mutual respect for one another.”
**--Cedrone shakes his head side to side--**
Cedrone: “I guess I was wrong wasn’t I? Why would I think such a thing? I guess you can say that I’m a li’l on the naïve side, I dunno. Maybe I would like to think that everyone has a good side to ‘em, that everyone has a heart, everyone has the least li’l bit of compassion to ‘em. You were even tryin’ to help me out in tryin’ to figure out the identity of the Masked Man. You even went so far to acquire the services of Scooby Dum! Only to have all that to be a huge ruse to cover up your tracks, to cover the TRUE identity of not only the Masked Man but of your own identity. You have successfully went from a very well respected, although not too liked, multiple Champion to a low-life scumbag, bottom feedin’, reprobate douche-for-brains, bastard who has done nothin’ but bought a first class ticket to Hell!”
**--Cedrone tries to get away from Bacon and the camera but Bacon stops him--**
Bacon: “Jonny! Jonny! Since you were the one who unmasked Scott DiBiase, you were the one that the Viking King rewarded with the cool $1, 000, 000, what are you planning on doing with that kind of money?”
Cedrone: “Screw the money! As far as I’m concerned, The Vikin’ King can donate it to the Gulf of Mexico Foundation or to the Military, I don’t care about the money. All I was and am worried about is makin’ the bastard, DiBiase pay for what he’s done to all of us for the past year and it may or may not happen next week on Crucifiction.”
**--Once again, Cedrone tries to leave--**
Bacon: “Jonny! Jonny!”
Cedrone: “What?! Can’t you get it Bacon?! I’m tryin’ to get outta here because if I don’t leave now, I might make DiBiase pay now and if I start now I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to quit. If you noticed, it took all the power and all the restraint I could muster to get outta the ring when I did because if I didn’t, you’d have to bail me outta jail.”
Bacon: “Could there possibly be a feud to occur between you and Alexia?”
Cedrone: “I wouldn’t mind a feud with Sexy Lexi. In fact, I believe that tonight’s match was the first time that I had her luscious lips, her bodacious breasts, and the rest of her curvaceous body rubbin’ all over me like butter on toast. And I’m not afraid ta say that I wouldn’t mind havin’ it happen again, and again and again Bacon. In fact, I know that you were in the back pleasurin’ yourself and I hope, I pray to the Big Man Above that it was her that you were pleasurin’ yourself to and not me. But if Lexi wants a piece of me again, I’ll be more than happy to give it to her.”
“Now if you will excuse me, I’m gonna have to get outta here before I turn around, head back in there and find DiBiase.”
**--Cedrone storms off towards his limo, throws his bags into the trunk, takes the World Championship with him to the back seat, slams the door and off goes the limo. Bacon’s left standing there with a blank look on his face as it heads back to Joey Styles and P. Lickin’--**
P. Lickin’: “See? He doesn’t care about his fans! He totally blew them off!”
Joey Styles: “In my humble opinion, he was being the bigger man. He knew he was extremely upset and was ready to kill somebody so instead of doing so, he decided to leave the arena. If it weren’t for Bacon wanting to get the scoop, Cedrone would’ve been out of here a lot quicker than what he was able to.”
P. Lickin’: “Excuses, excuses. He blew them off Styles…HA! Kinda like your mom did to me last night.”
Joey Styles: “Serves you right.”
**--P. Lickin’ stares at Styles--**
Joey Styles: “Let’s get to the action!”
(-(-(
"Still D.R.E." by Dr. Dre plays over the loud speaker. Stephan Saint walks out from behind the curtain both hands in the air jumping to each side of the entrance ramp trying to pump up the crowd. He walks down the ramp with a hop in his step. He slides under the bottom rope and runs to a turnbuckle and jumps up on it and raises his hand in the air.
JOEY STYLES: Stephen Saint looking to make his Crucificiton in-ring debut here tonight, P.
P. LICKIN: Shut up, I'm rocking out to Dre. I love this song.
JOEY STYLES: I like this song too.
P. LICKIN: I listen to it when I'm banging your mom.
JOEY STYLES: ..... I hate this song.
Hangman circles Saint as the two lock up. Saint gets a headlock, but Hangman shoves him into the ropes. Saint comes off and hits a shoulderblock. Hangman gets back up, and Saint clotheslines him down. Hangman gets up a second time, and Saint clotheslines him again. Saint picks Hangman up and shoots him into the corner. Saint follows up with a huge splash. Saint puts the boots to Hangman, then comes out with his hands raised, getting a pop from the crowd. Saint charges back in, hitting a boot to the face of Hangman. Saint picks Hangman up and puts him on the top turnbuckle. Saint goes up top and hits a few punches, then hooks the head and leg and hits the fisherman's suplex off the top turnbuckle!
JOEY STYLES: OH MY GOD!
Saint gets up as the crowd cheers. Hangman slowly rolls over as Saint stalks him. Hangman groggily gets up, and Saint comes over and picks him up on his shoulders, then hits the Triple S! Hangman is out as Saint covers. The ref counts ".1 ..2 ...3!!!" )-)-)
(-(-(
"Sorry, You're Not a Winner" begins to blare through the P.A. system, instantly causing the fans to figure out who is coming to the ring. They cheer in approval as Dragon Demonico runs out from the back. He runs to the left side of the stage and throws one arm into the air, with that blue pyro fires out from the stage. Demonico then walks over to the center of the stage and looks around at the crowd bit before nodding and beginning his walk towards the ring. While heading down the ramp he slaps some of the hands of fans. When he reaches about mid-way point of the ramp, he starts running and slides into the ring. Demonico gets on the nearest turnbuckle and throws his arms up as fans continue to cheer. He hops off and leans against the ropes, awaiting the opening bell.
Demonico gets the early hit on Phoenix with a flying heel kick that sends the poor guy reeling to the corner. He runs at full force, nailing a hard cross body on Phoenix before climbing the ropes. The crowd is absolutely loving this, rising to their feet as Phoenix turns around to take a HUGE hurricarana from Demonico! With Phoenix down, Demonico lands a standing moonsault before going for the cover. 1…2…Kickout by Phoenix!
JOEY STYLES: Phoenix just barely manages to save himself in this match, but what an amazing performance from the debuting Dragon Demonico here tonight!
P. LICKIN: This kid’s got a bright future in the VWF, that’s for sure!
Phoenix is just as shocked as everyone else, and even begins bragging to Demonico’s face. He follows with an arm wrench, digging in deep. Demonico manages to counter into an arm wrench of his own, followed by an arm drag. Phoenix gets up, only to be met by a MASSIVE Spinning Reverse STO!
JOEY STYLES: Wow, what impact!
Phoenix rolls onto his back as Demonico calls for the end, climbing up the turnbuckle. The crowd is chanting “Dragon, Dragon” as he jumps off the top, landing a Shooting Star Press onto the prone Phoenix! He goes for the cover as the ref counts
".1 ..2 ...3!!!" )-)-)
(The VWF goes to commercial...)
(The VWF returns from commercial...)
(-(-(
Rellim and Maximillian Vandiell III both stand in the ring, ready to start their match, when all of the sudden "Don't Hate Me" by Nerf Herder hits. The crowd comes to their feet as Crimson Lightening, with Red Tornado just behind, come down the ramp. Crimson walks up the stairs and on the apron, mic in hand as the music stops and he begins to speak...
CRIMSON: Everyone, everyone, everyone... calm down... sit down and relax. I'm here to... excuse me... are you two still here?
(Crimson stops and looks at Rellim and Vandiel, who both look angry at having their match interrupted...)
CRIMSON: Oh... are you two angry? Are you... getting your panties in a bunch because I interrupted your little, meaningless, no name of a match? Are you really that surprised? These people out here... they don't want to see you two dry hump each other in the ring... they PAID to see ME. They paid to see... an American... Storm...
(With that, two men slide in the ring behind Rellim and Vandiel, hitting each of them from behind with punches. The first man grabs Rellim from behind and hits a thunderous German suplex. The second man whips Vandiel around, and plants him with a big DDT. Both men climb to the second turnbuckle post, and come jumping off together, hitting a swanton bomb and leg drop on Rellim at the same time. Vandiel picks himself up. Crimson kicks him to the midsection and hits The Flash, then the two men cover Rellim and Vandiel. Red Tornado takes off her shirt to reveal... a ref's bra. She counts. ".1 ..2 ...3!!!" The two men pick up Rellim and Vandiel and dump them out of the ring as the crowd begins to boo as the foursome stand in the ring, smirking...
CRIMSON: You see, you people think that I'm here to amuse you. No no no... you see... we're here to amuse OURSELVES. With Chris Monsoon and Alex Thunder here... you are looking at the next dominant force in The VWF. We're The American Storm kids... and we? We're just better than you.
(Crimson drops the mic as the crowd continues to boo, and they all slowly stalk back up the ramp..._
)-)-)
(-(-(
As Nocturnal Supremecy hits the loudspeakers, the crowds gear their eyes towards the ramp as they see Nobody make his way out of the back and down the ramp. Clutching his hair slightly, Nobody went up the steel steps and through the ropes, looking back to the ramp to face his opponents in the ring.
Joey Styles: Nobody is looking to make it a two match streak here tonight!
The electric guitar and drum beats that could only signal one group could be heard throughout the arena. Suddenly the relaxing sounds of a water pipe could be heard as the song transitions into Smoke Two Joints and the Herbal Green Ranger makes his way from the back to a chorus of boos. Ignoring the crowd, he flashes a thumbs up and runs down the ramp and slides into the ring.
P.Lickin: Something tells me that the Herbal Green Ranger is actually, you know, sober enough to take part in the contest, Joey!
Finally, the sounds of the electric guitar could be heard once again, this time with the accompaniment of the drums which signaled the arrival of the White Boy Luchador himself, Leon Hayze. With purple and green lights flashing through the arena, the Cabo-Wabo champion emerges from the back, circling slowly around enjoying the green pyro around him before stumbling towards the ring with the championship around his shoulder.
Joey Styles: And here he is, VWF's Cabo-Wabo Champion, Leon “Purple” Hayze, who defeated Crimson Lightning in an impromptu match during the Battle Royal last week at Bloodlust.
P.Lickin: Crimson was drugged! Leon drugged him! How else could the Lightning man lose to a schoolboy?!
The men stand off in the corners of the ring, each of them unsure about who to attack first. Seemingly, the two men without a title to their names came up with a plan first and charged Hayze, taking the champ down with a double clothesline. Nobody drops the leg over Leon's neck and immediately goes for the cover!
“One, two...”
But Herbal Ranger is there to break up the pin, unwilling to let Nobody steal the spotlight. Stomping on Nobody's head, Herbal Ranger refuses to let the man get an inch of breathing room. Meanwhile, Hayze recovers enough from the opening assault to sneak up behind Herbal Ranger and take him down, applying Stone Free to the colorful opponent in an attempt to make him submit.
Joey Styles: The champ's got it locked in! He could have him here!
And he would have, if Nobody hadn't broken up the attempt. Sure he had just gotten beat on by the Ranger, but he wouldn't let Hayze take the opportunity from victory away from him. As Ranger nurtured his injured appendage, Hayze and Nobody squared off in the ring. As they traded lefts and rights, Ranger grabbed the ring ropes and rose to his feet. Giving it his all, he charges his opponents and while Hayze manages to duck away, Nobody was not so lucky as he takes the brunts of Herbal Rangers punches and kicks before unleashing a nefarious cutter to the canvas.
Joey Styles: Nobody's head hits the ring with such impact!
P.Lickin: We're sued, Joey! We're so SUED!
Herbal Ranger turns Nobody over and goes for the pin, but the crowd looks towards the top turnbuckle as they see the White Boy Luchador on the top rope. Spectacularly, he jumps from the top and twists in the air, hitting the Herbal Ranger and the pinned Nobody with Hayzed and Confused!
Joey Styles: OH MY GOD!
The impact of the move took much out of Hayze, but he manages to push the downed Green Ranger away from the prone body of Nobody, and goes for the pin, covering Herbal. The ref counts ".1 ..2 ...3!!!" )-)-)
We see Rico and The Viking King in…you guessed….The Viking King’s office. Rico has his arm around Viking with a big smile on his face.
Viking King: Come on Rico, it’s been MONTHS since you were last in His office, He’s been very happy. He has been appreciative of your absence from His office. He may have even sent you some flowers with some cocoa beans for making Him so peaceful.
Rico: Yes, it HAS been a while hasn’t it? Long time no see. Been a while. I thought it’d be a good idea to let each other catch up since it IS the week after Bloodlust.
Viking King: But He kno….
Rico: First I’ll tell you what I’ve been up to lately. You see lately with all the no-shows it’s been hard for me to give out makeovers lately. This has truly slowed business for me personally but on a brighter note. I’ve had the highest rated PPV segment for the sixth straight time!
Viking King: The Viking King is aware of your little segments…who do you think puts them on the air? Do we have anything else to waste time with on knowledge we both already have? He has a show to run.
Rico: I couldn’t help but notice that Kyle Bacon said he has an office e that consists of…a toilet in the men’s bathroom?
Viking: (With a rise smile) YES! He does. In fact…it’s right down that hallway to the left. Why don’t you go…pay him a visit….and maybe….fix the place up a bit?
Rico: Hehehehe.
Rico prances off. Viking King lets out a big sigh as he looks over at the camera...
VIKING: Now that he's gone... business. As The VWF moves on into the coming months, we are kicking off the beginning of our annual event, the King of the Ring tournament. With that, computers at VWF Headquarters have taken the roster, ranked them, and placed the top tier into a pool. Once in that pool, a lottery system pulled out VWF Superstars until the brackets were filled. Looking at the list, this year's pool of 16 superstars is one of the most stacked that He has ever seen. Without further adu, The Viking King gives you this year's entrants for the King of the Ring Tournament...
VIKING: Now... further business at hand. Jonny Cedrone has been victorious over Mr. Fantastic, Ian Credible and now Alexia and The Masked Man. We now know that The Masked Man was Scott DiBiase, of which The Viking King can assure you... Scott DiBiase will not receive a SINGLE title shot at ANY title that he hasn't earned. The Viking King has looked into releasing DiBiase, of which... DiBiase's lawyers were good in negotiating an iron clad contract. So... until DiBiase's contract runs out... or... DiBiase is no longer able to wrestle... we're stuck with him and his ilk. The Viking King is sickened that DiBiase has made it into the KOTR tournament, but... He has confidence that the rest of The VWF roster will ensure that DiBiase... doesn't make it out. Which brings us to the last bit of business... WHO will face Jonny Cedrone for the World Heavyweight Championship at the next PPV? Well, over the next few weeks, He will evaluate the talent, and ensure that the correct individual is chosen from the roster to face Jonny in the main event. So... be on your toes, VWFers. You are CONSTANTLY being evaluated...
(There is a knock on the door, and in comes JP McManus. In his hand, he holds the Money in the Bank briefcase that he won at Bloodlust...)
McMANUS: Mr. King, Ah have the briefcase that ah won. Yer secretary said ta bring it here, so Ah can get the wee key ta open it.
VIKING: Yes, yes McManus... let's see what title you've earned a shot at...
(Viking takes the case and turns it around. He takes a key out of His desk, and fits it into the case, popping it open. The Viking King looks in, smirks, then pulls out a sheet of paper. Viking pulls out his pen and signs it, making it official...)
VIKING: Well McManus... looks like this is your lucky day. You just earned a shot at... the Britannia Heavyweight Championship.
McMANUS: Perfect. I thank ya kindly.
(McManus walks out, rubbing his hands together and smiling as he walks down the hallway...)
(The VWF goes to commercial...)
(The VWF returns from commercial...)
(-(-(
"I Like Dirt" by Red Hot Chilli Peppers plays as Donny Blacklist rides to the ring on a beaten up, rusted Harley Davidson motorcycle, cheered by both the crowd and his loyal groupies who tag along behind. He parks his wheels and rolls into the ring.
While Donny slaps his groupies' hands through the ropes, “Just Close Your Eyes” hits as Zack walks out onto the stage wearing his trademark yellow trunks with black lightning bolts. Zack takes in the boos from the crowd as he spins slowly on the stage before strolling down to the ring with a smug smirk on his face.
JOEY STYLES: Look at how smug he is.
P. LICKIN: Smirking, too. Smug smirker. Smugirker!
JOEY STYLES: Is that even a word?
P. LICKIN: Sure it is... I mean, it must be! I smugirked your mom last night!
The bell rings and Zack darts towards Blacklist for a quick tie-up but pulls away from his reach at the last moment; Blacklist almost losing balance. Zack Connors smiles at the crowd's distaste. Turning back to Blacklist, Zack looks to tie-up for real but again he simply side-steps Blacklist's attempt to lock-up with him.
JOEY STYLES: Zack Connors enjoying playing with Donny Blacklist.
P. LICKIN: No comment.
Blacklist shakes his head while Connors waves to the crowd. As soon as the younger man turns around Donny Blacklist is on him with a hard right that sends him crashing to the mat. No sooner is Zack back on his feet than Donny puts him down again with another solid punch. Up for a third, Donny throws the punch but Zack ducks it, landing a knee in Donny's gut for his trouble, the crowd booing heavily while Blacklist gets his breath back and Connors cheers his own efforts. Not wasting any more time, Zack goes for a DDT but Blacklist grabs the ropes and Zack hits the floor. He quickly rolls clear of a stomp and back onto his feet. Connors hits the ropes but Blacklist is already on him with a clothesline, sending them both over the top rope and crashing to the floor. The ref shouts for them to get back into the ring. Donny is first to his feet, dragging Zack up by the chin. He slams the inch-shorter but 5 pounds-heavier man's head into the apron before he rolls him in at the 4-count.
P. LICKIN: Some useful info, there.
JOEY STYLES: Huh?
Somewhat dazed, Zack is getting to his feet as Donny slides into the ring and clips him with a sharp European Uppercut, Zack staggering to the ropes for support. Donny grabs him for a German suplex but gets a desperate elbow in the face in return. Zack spins around Blacklist and hits a German suplex of his own. Blacklist arches his back in pain as Connors nails him down to the canvas with an elbow drop and covers. 1... 2--Kickout!
P. LICKIN: Pfft. I can do an elbow drop.
JOEY STYLES: Oh, really?
P. LICKIN: Sure! I can do a diving headbutt, too - usually into your mother's crotch.
Connors smashes a knee into Donny's face as he lifts him up, grinning and signalling for Case Closed! Blacklist senses it coming and straightens up, sending his opponent crashing down with a back body drop. Connors cries out in pain!
JOEY STYLES: Zack Connors is hurt!
Sure enough Connors is on his back, holding his ankle and clearly in a lot of pain. Blacklist is bearing down on him to bring some more hurt but the referee gets in the way and pushes him back, checking on Connors. Donny throws his arms in the air in frustration while Zack continues to moan about his leg, using the referee and the turnbuckle to help him stand up. He's watching Donny Blacklist intently.
JOEY STYLES: Hey, waitaminute...
As soon as Donny's back is turned Connors bolts forward and grabs his head, leaping into the air to deliver a Bounced Check! Blacklist counters this by carrying Connors forward, throwing him nuts-first into the turnbuckle through the middle/top ropes!
P. LICKIN: OOH! Served!
Zack, now genuinely suffering, screams before Donny comes at him again, crowd cheering wildly. Blacklist lifts him off the second rope and onto the top, climbing up behind him to deliver a top-rope backdrop! Both men lie still on the mat.
JOEY STYLES: WOW! That dangerous move seems to have taken a lot out of BOTH men!
P. LICKIN: Sounds like--
JOEY STYLES: Yeah, yeah, sounds like my mom. Very funny, P.!
Donny Blacklist and Zack Connors are still both down. Referee is up to 3 count.
P. LICKIN: Oh, c'mon! Like I'd make ANOTHER joke about your mom! You really think, after all these years, that's all I got? I am hurt AND offended!
JOEY STYLES: ... Really?
P. LICKIN: Yeah, really! I was gonna say your wife.
Suddenly Blacklist finds a burst of energy and powers to his feet, charging at the adjacent turnbuckle and climbing it like there was no tomorrow. Connors begins to stir; Donny takes aim before he takes to the skies NO MORE--NO!! Zack Connors flies to his feet and destroys Blacklist with a lightning-fast Bounced Check!
P. LICKIN: HOLY SHIT!
He goes for the cover ".1 ..2 ...3!!!"
JOEY STYLES: Wow! What a recovery!
Donny Blacklist's hands reach his face as he has no idea what just happened, the bell ringing in his ears. Zack Connors is on his feet with both hands in the air and an ear-to-ear grin plastered across his face, much to the displeasure of Blacklist. Blacklist stands up and turns towards Connors, who grins and holds out a hand. Blacklist scowls, then reaches out and shakes Connors' hand. Connors smiles even bigger, but Blacklist yanks him closer and hits the Dead Man's Hand! The crowd pops as Blacklist makes an obscene hand gesture towards Connors as Zack lays there, motionless.
)-)-)
(-(-(
"Senritsu No Blue" begins to play and the first drum beat heard from the loudspeakers signals the cutting of the lights, save for the ones on the stage. When the music reaches its first crescendo, Kamikaze runs out of the backstage area and onto the entrance, where raise his right arm and point at all the fans. As the beat turns to the electric guitar, Kamikaze runs to the ring at full speed. Jumping first onto the ring apron and then flipping over the top rope, he jumps onto the nearest turnbuckle and once again raise his arm out, point to the arena and circle to the fans, jumping around a few times before finally settling down and waiting for Thomas Halloway to get to the ring.
"The Thing That Should Not Be" by Metallica blasts through the arena as Thomas Halloway makes his way down the ramp through flash bombs. He takes off his shades after he enters the ring, calmly watching Kamikaze stretch while the ref displays the Pan Pacific Championship belt to the crowd.
P. LICKIN: Check it out, I can be Kamikaze too!
JOEY STYLES: Sure you can. I don't think tha--UGH! What's that smell?
P. LICKIN: Divine Wind, bitch!
The bell rings and Kamikaze wastes no time tying up with the 9 inches-taller Halloway. The two men struggle against one another for a few moments with Halloway gradually getting the advantage. He forces Kamikaze back into the corner. The referee hurries over and begins counting as Halloway starts laying into Kamikaze with body punches. 1... 2... 3... 4! Halloway backs off, showing no remorse for bending the rules while Kamikaze holds his ribs. Halloway charges at Kami who rolls under a clothesline that would have beheaded him, running to the opposite corner. Halloway is after him like a flash but Kami runs up the turnbuckle and backflips over him, kicking him in the back on his way down. Thomas hits the turnbuckle chest-first and Kamikaze rolls him up with a speedy school boy! 1... Kickout!
JOEY STYLES: I need a gas mask...
Halloway looks frustrated as he climbs to his feet, eyes locked on Kamikaze who hits the ropes and charges at him. Halloway ducks and Kami rolls over his back onto his feet only to hit the ropes again, this time ducking a back elbow from Halloway. He cracks Halloway in the jaw with a shuffle side kick, knocking the bigger man down. Without hesitation, Kami goes for a standing moonsault but Halloway quickly rolls out of the way and scrambles to his feet, reaching down for Kamikaze, who slips away from his grasp.
Now both men are on their feet. Halloway throws a hard left at Kamikaze who dodges it and counters with a hip toss, following up with a somersault leg drop to Halloway's face. Rolling back onto his feet, Kami lands a somersault senton splash followed by a lightning-fast moonsault that connects this time. He holds position and hooks the leg. 1... 2.. kickout!
JOEY STYLES: Kamikaze showing Thomas Halloway the meaning behind "Divine Wind"!
P. LICKIN: Here's some more!
JOEY STYLES: Oh, not again..!
The crowd is right behind Kamikaze and he gives them a solemn nod while Halloway regains his senses. Spying his opponent's recovery, Kamikaze runs to the furthest ropes. On his way back, Halloway explodes from all fours to pummel him with a murderous clothesline that turns the Japanese wrestler inside-out, both men crashing to the mat. The referee begins to count.
P. LICKIN: Ouch! Did you see that, Styles?
JOEY STYLES: I feel sick.
1... Kami is on his side holding the back of his neck while Halloway lies where he landed. 2... 3... Kamikaze gets a knee beneath himself and begins to rise. 4... ...and he's on his feet, clearly still dazed by the massive clothesline. 5... 6... Kami grabs Halloway by the arm and begins dragging him to his feet but Halloway is a dead weight.
P. LICKIN: What the hell is wrong with Halloway? Aside from the usual, that is.
JOEY STYLES: Maybe he can smell your gas?
Kami manages to get Thomas Halloway onto his knees in front of him. Suddenly the larger man rises, lifting Kami in a fireman's carry as he does so. Kamikaze struggles frantically to escape the hold but Halloway doesn't look like he's about to let him go. Halloway begins to lose balance and staggers towards the ropes. Kamikaze manages to wriggle his legs free and uses the top rope to propel himself over Halloway's head, somersaulting and looking for a facebuster but Thomas grabs him and sits down, driving Kami head-first into the canvas.
JOEY STYLES: Wow! I saw THAT! Kamikaze shot himself in the foot with that one!
Halloway has an amused grin on his face while the crowd boos. He leans over Kamikaze for the pin. 1... 2... KICKOUT!
JOEY STYLES: Close!
P. LICKIN: Tough little Chinaman!
JOEY STYLES: Uh, he's Japanese?
P. LICKIN: Same thing?
Thomas Halloway looks surprised for a moment before quickly getting to his feet, thinking about what to do with his dazed opponent. Having decided, he reaches down and grabs the smaller man by the hair, dragging him to his feet and doubling him over with a hard knee to the gut before lifting him up for a powerbomb. He turns towards the middle of the ring and is about to slam him down when Kami suddenly floors him with a hurricanrana pin, grabbing the struggling Halloway's legs! ".1 ..2 ...3!!!"
JOEY STYLES: Wow! Where'd THAT come from!
P. LICKIN: I thought he was cooked. Just like this!
JOEY STYLES: Oh, God, no, NO!
P. LICKIN: Where have I heard that before? Oh yeah, your mom last night... hmm, no. She was saying "oh God, yes, YES!"
Kamikaze raises his arms in victory as the bell rings to end the match, the referee handing over the Pan Pacific Championship.
)-)-)
Pan Pacific Championship
(The VWF goes to commercial...)
(The VWF returns from commercial...)
(-(-(
JOEY STYLES: Now THIS will be a match. Four of the greatest currently in the VWF going into what can only be best described as a WAR.
P. LICKIN: Yawn. Aggression and McManus against two losers? Wake me up when some tits show up and I can make rude comments.
JOEY STYLES: You want some tits, look at your own chest P.
P. LICKIN: Mee-Ow Joey, you showing your claws boy.
The match starts off with Finlay and Aggression in the ring. Nothing pretty here, just two guys trying to beat the crap out of each other. Aggression shows losts of.... aggression towards Finlay. Quick tag to McManus who continues the domination. Ramon is trying to get the crowd pumped up outside the ring.
P. LICKIN: Aww, Bless the heart of that young Ramon fella. He's trying his hardest to get Finlay all pumped up.
JOEY STYLES: W.....
P. LICKIN: Kind of like your Mom did for me last night.
JOEY STYLES: P. I.....
P. LICKIN: She's got the magic fingers JOEY!
JOEY STYLES: ….. I hate you.
P. LICKIN: I know.
Another quick tag from McManus and Aggression is back in the ring. Finlay is being beat like a Peurto Rican whore in a T-Shirt factory. But like putting a torch to the flame, Finlay begins throwing a few rights and lefts and in a huff he beats off Aggression and jumps in for a tag to Ramon. Ramon enters the ring and slams Aggression. The runs over and kicks McManus right in his face. Ramon is flying around the ring like a man on fire. The crowd are going nuts. Absolutely crazy for Ramon. Ramon's got Aggression down on the mat. He hits a huge Rana on him then moves to the apron. As Aggresion gets to his feet, Ramon jumps up on the ropes and hits a huge Dropkick on him. Ramon runs towards the ropes. As he springboards off he hits a dropkick to McManus that he turns into a Moonsault on Aggression. 1..2.. And Aggression kicks out.
JOEY STYLES: OH MY GOD.
Ramon looks up at the sky... Well through the roof of the arena, and takes a few breaths. Aggression slowly tries to climb to his feet. Ramon goes for some more flippy dippy moves, but he goes one step too far and Aggression capitalizes on one little tiny mistake. He throws Ramon into the McManus/Aggression corner. Finlay doesn't like the double team crap and tries to tell the ref about it, but we all know how that kind of stuff goes. The Ref tells Finlay to get out of the ring as McManus and Aggression double team on Ramon some more. A quick tag and They hit some kind of cool looking double team move on Ramon. Aggression gets out of the ring. McManus does a stomp or two and it's followed by yet another quick tag. After a few of these sequences, Ramon finally fights his way out of a dire situation. He lunges for his corner and manages to tag in Finlay. Aggression rushes towards Finlay, but Finlay ducks and starts throwing punches. Finlay beats Aggression around the ring like a red headed step child. Meanwhile out there on the internet somewhere Jon Tees comes up with some kind of conspiracy theory about Gingers.
Finlay throws Aggression to the ropes and goes to hit a clothesline, Aggression ducks under it, as he rebounds off the ropes, McManus gets a blind tag. Neither Finlay nor Aggression seem to notice. McManus climbs into the ring and hits Finlay with a HUGE Larriat He damn near takes Finlays head off, as he snaps back and lands square on his head. Finlay shakes and shudders on the ground and even foams at the mouth a little. McManus just sits on his knees and admires his handiwork. He then goes down for a pinfall ".1 ..2 ...3!!!"
JOEY STYLES: Oh... Oh.... God, is Finlay ok?
P. LICKIN: He looks like your Mom after last night........
)-)-)
Jose Ramon and Josh Finlay
I am Perfection
The fans in attendance erupt into a frenzy of boos and jeers as Scott DiBiase steps out onto the stage bathed in red and white spotlights, sporting a cocky grin. Secured around his waist is his World Tag Team championship belt while, slung over his left shoulder is the Eurocontinental championship belt. Scott pauses at the top of the ramp and soaks in the enmity of the crowd, savouring every moment of the hatred being spewed in his direction.
Some things are exactly what they seem
Walking slowly down the ramp, Scott pats the Eurocontinental championship belt and laughs at the attempts of the fans along the aisle to both verbally and physically assault him. He stopped in front of a particularly animated five year old kid who tries to take a swing at him. Scott holds the Eurocontinental championship in his face and shakes his head.
They saw Perfection
Scott climbs the ring steps and looks out into the crowd before stepping through the top and middle ropes to enter the ring. He climbs the nearest turnbuckle, folds the straps of the Eurocontinental championship belt and holds it high for everyone to see.
I hold your life here in my hands
Scott jumps down from the turnbuckle and calls for a mic from the timekeeper and the music cuts out. Scott takes in the cacophony of boos and abuse from the fans in attendance before bringing the mic to his mouth.
SCOTT DiBIASE: I'll be honest with all of you, I really love it when a plan comes to fruition. For the past year I've gone under the radar, doing the dirty work Jonas Allen started and nobody... nobody suspected a thing!
If at all possible, the boos intensified to an even more deafening level.
SCOTT DiBIASE: I expect that from each and every one of you, of course, but I expected the liked of Jonny Cedrone, "The Goddess" Alexia and even Lee Ryan to have some sort of inkling as to who was involved. I mean, the clues were all there right in front of them, but being blessed with the superior intellect as I am, I manipulated them all into believing I not only had no idea who the Masked Man was but that I was actually helping them to discover the Masked Man's identity.
Scott looks at the Eurocontinental championship belt slung over his shoulder and pats it, inciting even more boos from the crown.
SCOTT DiBIASE: What, this? Yes, I masterfully manipulated your precious hero into putting up the Eurocontinental championship and all it took to relieve him of it was one swing of a steel chair. As we're all quite familiar with "All That's" Three Strike policy, I like to consider that particular strike: Strike One, the strike which has all but ensured it is only a matter of time before I become the World Heavyweight champion.
The crowd, having apparently had enough, begins a loud "ASSHOLE!" chant.
SCOTT DiBIASE: All you need to do is take a look at the lineage of this magnificent championship, with very few exceptions, all of the holders of the Eurocontinental championship have either been or gone on to become the World Heavyweight champion, the only exceptions being one Kirsta Lewis and "The Goddess" Alexia. I'm talking about men like Jace Gryphon and Jonny Cedrone, who took the prize they worked so hard to win while men like The Vox, The Rick and... yes, "All That" Lee Ryan, who have all been World champions before adding the Eurocontinental championships to their resume, so whether you want to admit it or not, you will have to add my name to that list for the first opportunity I get against Jonny Cedrone...
“Hero” by Skillet explodes through the arena’s P.A system and the fans erupt into a chorus of screams and cheers. “All That” Lee Ryan steps out onto the stage wearing his baggy jeans, a grey ‘Elite Playaz’ T-shirt and a blue hoody with the sleeves pushed up to his forearms. With microphone in hand, the music dies down and the crowd along with it expect for those trying to build an “ALL THAT” chant; Lee brings the microphone up to his lips and beings his address.
LEE RYAN: Scotty, Scotty, Scotty. Once again you seem to be giving yourself too much credit. Yes you’ve been running around hiding your face under a ski mask for a year without anyone being the wiser. And while I’ll give you recognition for that, to say that you’ve out smarted T.E.P is a stretch too far. You see last time I checked, it didn’t require a great amount to smarts to run away with your tail between your legs…again! Under the masquerade of the Masked Moron you managed to rack up quite the tally of injuries for yourself. But now the mask has come off, so to do the gloves.
Lee starts to pace back and forth along the stage.
LEE RYAN: You’ve made yourself some powerful enemies Scotty and I’m not just talking about T.E.P; I mean we’ve had a bullet with your name on for quite some time but this is something else. The Viking King contacted me and we had a little chat. Now we all know that Ponytail isn’t my greatest fan, I think it’s safe to say that HE doesn’t like me that much; what with the constant public humiliations and so forth. But as much as HE hates me, I don’t hit HIM where it hurts. You on the other hand Scotty may as well have kicked HIM in the man veg. You hit Ponytail right where it hurts HIM the most…HIS wallet. The money HE’s payout because of you made HIM so angry HE thought there was only one person HE could turn to. Me.
The fans once again begin to cheer as Lee stops pacing and fixes his sights purely on the man standing inside the ring.
LEE RYAN: The enemy of thy enemy is thy friend Scott. Ponytail and I may not like each other a great deal but we’ve got an enemy in common, you. That is why HE’s put you and me in the main event for my Eurocontinental title. And not only that, HE also asked one favour of me, a favour that I couldn’t turn down. Tonight Scott when you wrestle Mark Ellingsworth for the Britannia Championship, you won’t have an easy ride, you won’t be able to con your way out of the match because tonight I will be the referee! I’ll be there to make damn well sure that Scott DiBiase has nowhere to run!
Insanely, Scott actually smiles at the turn of events.
SCOTT DiBIASE: You are going to officiate my match, Ryan? You, more than any of these idiots know exactly what I will do to ensure the results are in my favour and I know just how much you want to see me relieved of the championship gold I have in my possession. Face it, Ryan, I have already won and this whole exercise just going to be a formality.
The crowd showers Scott with a renewed barrage of boos.
SCOTT DiBIASE: You're too sickeningly noble, Ryan, to risk cheating Ellingsworth out of claiming the Britannia Heavyweight championship, you're not going to disqualify me and you're not going to count me out so all you've done is given me the green light to do whatever I see fit to Ellingsworth or even you if you get in my way and there's nothing you can do about it except to do your job as the official and disqualify me. I may lose the match, but I will still be recognized as the Britannia Heavyweight champion.
Scott savors the abuse from the crowd when he appears to have had an idea.
SCOTT DiBIASE: Several weeks ago, Ryan, you made me a deal that you and your Neanderthal brother would put up your titles for a shot against the World Tag Team championships if you both retained your championships. Well, tonight is your lucky night as I'll offer you an incentive. Call this match right down the middle, follow the rule book to the letter regardless of the outcome and when we meet in the main event, if you can reclaim the Eurocontinental championship I will give you a shot at the World Tag Team championships.
Scott stands defiantly in the ring as he’s bathed with jeers and boos. He glares over towards Lee Ryan with smugness and conviction only for Lee to start laughing. Puzzled by his reaction, Scott takes a couple of steps back while shouting at his future opponent.
SCOTT DiBIASE: What the hell are you laughing at?!
LEE RYAN: Scott once again you’re giving yourself way too much credit. Yeah I maybe, as you say, ‘sickeningly noble’ but that’s because I have a sense of honour. It maybe a concept you’re unfamiliar with being the scum that you are. I live by a code, everyone knows that and by the credence of that code, you’re out of chances and out of luck! You don’t get anymore life lines. So regardless of my actions as referee or after I’ve reclaimed the Eurocontinental title, the Tag Team Championship will be crowning the waists of T.E.P. You see Scott; the Viking King had become sick and tired of having Tag Team Champions that couldn’t successfully win their matches even before your little coming out party. After having witnessed your defeat at our hands on three separate occasions, HE decided that let loose the dogs of war and set in motion the final days of your title reign! Times counting down on you Scotty, after tonight your bags are gonna be feeling lighter and once T.E.P. and The Perfect Alliance meet with those titles on the line, they’re gonna be completely empty. And just in case you need reminding as to why that is, it’s because I…am…“ALL THAT”!!!
“Hero” by Skillet once again plays out as the fans continue to cheer and scream for their favourite superstar.
(The VWF goes to commercial...)
(The VWF returns from commercial...)
(-(-(
Typhoon Vance is in the ring pacing back and forth as “Hono” by Atreyu begins to blast out of the P.A. System. Tyler Graves makes his way down to ringside. Both men stand in the ring glaring at each other before the bell rings.
JOEY STYLES: Can you feel it P?
P. LICKIN: Damn I can Joey.
JOEY STYLES: This match is going to be great. Both guys seem fired up and ready to tear the building down.
P LICKIN: Match?......
JOEY STYLES: …..
P. LICKIN: Oh god. You were asking if I could feel something about a god forsaken match? I thought you were talking about this lump on my balls.
JOEY STYLES: ….
P. LICKIN: Although, to be honest I was wondering why you could feel a lump on my balls.
JOEY STYLES: …..
P. LICKIN: Maybe your Mom told you about it?
JOEY STYLES: Anyways... It looks like it's on.
P. LICKIN: Hey, that's not a lump..... It's a piece of oatmeal.
Inside the ring, Tyler Graves and Typhoon Vance have locked up. They are pushing each other around the ring. Graves pushes Vance back into the corner. He motions to the crowd and chops Vance a few times. The crowd respond with “whooo” on every chop. Seeing as how the VWF isn't ran by a petty insecure megalomaniac, we don't ban chops in the corner. Graves backs up and points the the corner. He runs in for a huge splash, but Typhoon moves out of the way at the last possible second. Vance now punches away at Graves. Vance throws Tyler into the ropes and goes to hit a huge Clothesline on him. Graves ducks down. Graves turns things around by hitting a line of his own on the rebound.
JOEY STYLES: This is great. Both guys are giving their all. This P, This is what the VWF is all about. This is why we are the greatest show on eart. Young guys going hard at it and doing nothing but their best!
P. LICKIN: Joey? Did you just admit to being gay?
JOEY STYLES: What? No.
P. LICKIN: It's cool bro. I got a cute friend I could introduce you to. His names Russ.
JOEY STYLES: I'm NOT GAY DUDE! I've got a wife.
P. LICKIN: Well okay then. Let's get back to the action. Now what were you saying? This is a fine example of two sweaty muscled men going hard at it with each other? Or something....
JOEY STYLES: ….. I hate you....
Typhoon Vance and Tyler Graves are not wrestling what anybody would call a pretty match, but they are damn effective. They are throwing wild blows at each other and just beating the ever loving crud out of each other. Both men are getting a wide variety of offense in. There is a series of near falls as both men ramp up the violence in the match. Graves begins to get more and more frustrated as he just can't put Typhoon Vance away. Graves goes for a Sudden Impact, but Vance counters it by pushing Graves off him. Vance pushes Graves into the corner and slams his head against the turnbuckle a few times. Vance then hits Graves with a devastating looking Black Rain. He goes for the pin. ".1 ..2 ...3!!!"
JOEY STYLES: His foot was on the ropes?
P. LICKIN: They were? I didn't see that.
JOEY STYLES: They were!
P. LICKIN: Well, if I didn't see it, and The Ref didn't see it, it didn't happen.
Typhoon Vance rolls out of the ring and raises his arm up in victory. He leaves the ring with a smirk on his face. Tyler Graves sits up and pulls his hair. He looks at the ref and begins yelling at him. Telling him his foot was on the ropes. The Ref explains to him that he didn't see it. Graves pushes the ref and storms out of the ring.
)-)-)
Perfection
I am Perfection
So take your best shot, give it all you got,
I'll show it all
I will defy the things you dream
Go check the scores again
Call mine a "Perfect Ten"
They broke the mold when they made me
Perfection
They saw Perfection
I am Perfection
Though you try hard to understand
Your little mind won't turn
Those little wheels will burn
You'll recognize just who I am
(*BOOM!!* Pyro blasts and the lights go down. Then…
Strobe lights – and the opening riff to “Zero” by Smashing Pumpkins hits the speakers.
The crowd gets loud, a mixture of boos and cheers as “The Ego Buster” Dan Ryan steps out onto the stage, the VWF Intercontinental Title around his waist and the usual gear, black trunks, black boots and sunglasses. He stands on the stage for a moment looking into the crowd, then slaps the belt one time, smirking… and heads to the ring.
He pays no attention to the fans along the aisle – merely waltzes to the ring and slides underneath. He stops in the middle of the ring and smiles slightly, then goes to one side and motions for a microphone… and gets one.)
DAN RYAN: Chicago Chicago Chicago….
(mild cheap pop)
DAN RYAN: Get a good look at THE most important man holding a championship belt in the entire V-W-F.
(boos)
DAN RYAN: (ignoring the crowd) You know… at Bloodlust, after I finished off Tropical Storm Vance and Malker, Texas Ranger – I went to the back and had myself a very refreshing shower. I toweled off, I found a very comfortable seat in front of a monitor and I watched the main event.
Now..
A few months ago, when I walked back into this company I promised all of you that I would show this company what a true professional wrestler looks like. I said I wouldn’t put up with incompetence and I wouldn’t suffer idiots. So as I sat down and watched Alexia and a man in a hood take on Jonny Cedrone for the VWF World Championship match, I did a little scouting.
You see, I’ve already had enough of a look at Alexia. And while she was very attractive while her head was bouncing off the mat right before I pinned her for this title, she came up seriously lacking as a legitimate threat to be the standard bearer of any company, let alone one that I compete in. And yes, while it was nice of her to put down her vampire porn long enough to actually wrestle a match, it was absolutely no surprise that she failed to do what she said she was gonna do. It would appear to me that she’s much more adept in the world of magic and undead clitoris stimulation than she is at actually wrestling.
Wrestling, Alexia. THAT… is what you’re supposed to be good at. Did that ever cross your mind? Did it not wake you up a little bit when I dumped you on your neck and took your title in a ten minute TV match? No. Obviously not.
And Scott… Dibiase…
(crowd reacts to the name drop)
DAN RYAN: (sighing) Let me guess, you’re a Dibiase cousin, twice removed on Iron Mike’s side by marriage, right? Do you wrestle with a loaded glove and kick basketballs away from elementary school students? Do you have a servant who you will eventually alienate to the point that he’ll turn on you, wrestle you in a boring ass match, then retire shortly thereafter?
You sir, are the absolute poster boy for unoriginality.
Nevermind the name.
A masked man attacking people for a year. Holy crap. Where’s the fucking Emmy Awards voting committee when we need them? Where are the voters for the Oscars? If you’re not a candidate for best original screenplay, I don’t know who is. Who the hell ever heard of putting a mask on and shocking people with a big reveal in a title match? Let me guess, for your next trick, you’re gonna attack the owner and hit him with your finisher before flipping him off. NO WAIT. You can start a wrestling group with two underlings and eventually let your ego get away from you until they turn on you and you feud with them both. NO WAIT. We can start having segments on our shows with a giant fucking egg and right on the show before Thanksgiving, you can pop out of the egg and dance with Gene Okerlund. NO……. WAIT…
You can shut the fuck up and stop boring me with your lame ass ideas and bargain basement ability. How about that? How’s that for original? I guarantee that’s never been done, because your stupid ass is on the damn television every time you turn it on and you won’t shut the hell up no matter if it’s day or night.
And that brings me ALLLLLLLL the way back… to you, Jonathan Dewayne… Cedrone.
The World…. Heavyweight…. Champion.
How does it feel, Cedrone? How does it feel being the SECOND most talented man on the roster? How does it feel to hold that big shiny belt and still not matter nearly as much as the man with the so-called second most important belt in the company? How’s that? How does it feel…. for me to walk into this company and INSTANTLY… steal your thunder and make you completely… and totally… irrelevant? Hmm?
See, here’s the thing. The three of you?? You’re embarrassing this company. You wrestle like women, except for Alexia, who doesn’t wrestle at all…. you have the wit of a patient in the cranial injury ward of the local hospital… and you have all the charisma of a Ham on Rye from Katz’s Deli.
So while you’re all sitting back there listening to me stand in here and call you out, understand something. I’m not going away. I’m not fading away quietly into the night, and I won’t rest until I take my place on top of this company and show everyone, from the front office all the way down to the gimpy-legged popcorn vendor who got a handy from Alexia right before tonight’s show… that I am without a doubt… the BEST in the ENTIRE WORLD.
And Cedrone? Champ? All eyes are on you, sport. I’m calling your ass out, and whether you like it? Or ya don’t… the bottom line is this. You’re in my sights, and I will get what I want, or I’ll take it out of your ass.
You don’t like what I have to say? I’ll tell you what, motherfucker.
SHUT ME UP.
(Ryan slams the microphone down and slides out of the ring as his music kicks back in, and walks up the ramp and through the curtain.)
(The VWF goes to commercial...)
(The VWF returns from commercial...)
(-(-(
The lights go out and are replaced with green and white flashing strobe lights as the opening riff of "I Am Perfection" by Cage9 blares over the sound system, while the crowd immediately starts to boo at a volume which threatens to drown everything else out.
JOEY STYLES: Scott DiBiase looks all kinds of confident in there, P.
P. LICKIN: Of course he does, he's Scott DiBiase.
“Marvelous Me” hits the loudspeaker and the fans immediately begin to boo. The theme plays for awhile before Mark Ellingsworth shows his face at the entrance ramp to a louder chorus of boos. Mark stands there, with his hands on his hips with a smug grin on his face. Mark slowly turns his head to the left and then to his right before looking straight up and raises his fists high in the air. Pyros begin to shoot out as he releases the position and strolls to the ring. Once Mark reaches the ring, he takes a complete lap around the outside, shouting at the heckling fans at ringside before jogging up the steps and enters the ring. Mark again raises his fists high into the air before bouncing off the closest set of ropes. He rolls his shoulders and stretches his marvelous neck as he waits for the bell to ring, eying DiBiase across from him.
P. LICKIN: Marevelous Mark is eyeing DiBiase the way you eye a t-bone steak.
JOEY STYLES: You're fatter than me.
P. LICKIN: Maybe in the crotchal region...
Lee Ryan insists on checking for weapons on DiBiase. Once done, DiBiase insists he checks with Mark. Lee turns to him and says "You have any weapons?" Mark says No. Lee says "Good enough for me. Ring the bell!" DiBiase scowls as the bell rings and they lockup. DiBiase locks in a headlock, and Mark shoots him to the ropes. DiBiase ducks the clothesline and goes back to the ropes. DiBiase hits a flying forearm and covers for one. DiBiase picks Mark up and hits a snapmare, then locks in a chinlock. Mark powers up, and counters into a hammerlock. DiBiase counters out with a fireman's carry and covers for one. DiBiase locks in an armbar. Mark rolls over, pinning DiBiase. 1...2... kickout. They both roll to their feet, and DiBiase charges in. Mark hits a headlock takedown. DiBiase lifts his legs up and locks in a triangle hold. Mark rolls over, getting another pinfall. 1...2.. kickout. Both men roll to their feet again and lock up. DiBiase hits a knee to the midsection and hits a snapmare. DiBiase kicks Mark in the back, then goes to the ropes and hits a baseball slide kick to the back. DiBiase covers. Lee counts 1...2... kickout. DiBiase gets up and argues that the count was slow.
JOEY STYLES: I think it's only a matter of time until Lee and Scott come to a head here in this match...
P. LICKIN: I think it's only a matter of time until your mom comes on my head after this match.
JOEY STYLES: ..... You really are the biggest son of a bitch, you know that?
The match continues with more back and forth chain wrestling. Finally, DiBiase has the upper hand, hitting a drop toe hold, sending Mark head first into the turnbuckle post. DiBiase grabs his legs and pulls him out, pancaking him on the mat. DiBiase puts the boots to him, then picks him up by the head and chokes him on the ropes. Lee counts 1...2...3...4... DiBiase lets go and argues a bit. DiBiase walks over and picks Mark up by the head. Mark breaks the hold and hits a few rights. Mark takes a step back and hits a clothesline, sending DiBiase outside. DiBiase stands up as Mark runs, going for a suicide dive, but DiBiase side steps it and sends Mark into the crowd barrier. DiBiase staggers away, smirking. He picks up a steel chair and slides it in the ring. DiBiase smirks, walking over to Mark, who is down on the floor. DiBiase hits a knee to the head, flipping Mark over. DiBiase grabs him by the head and picks him up, and shoots him to the steel stairs, but Mark counters and shoots DiBiase instead. DiBiase holds his back, falling to his knees. Mark, panting, collapses to his knees as well. Mark shakes his head and stands up, and charges, but DiBiase side steps it and Mark hits the steel stairs himself. DiBiase rolls in the ring, breaking the count. He stands up, panting to himself, and walks over and picks up the steel chair as Mark picks himself up on the outside. Lee Ryan tells him to put it down. DiBiase tells him to piss off and walks over to the other side of the ring. Lee grabs DiBiase and spins him around, grabbing the chair and throwing it down. DiBiase shoves Lee. Lee shoves him back, and DiBiase turns as Mark Ellingsworth comes off the top rope, hitting the Awe-Inspiring Neckbreaker onto the chair! Mark covers, hooking the leg as Lee Ryan quickly counts ".1 .2 .3!!!" DiBiase rolls outside as Mark Ellingsworth is handed the Britannia Heavyweight Championship. He looks at it, almost tearfully before rejoicing the moment. He raises the title high into the air showing off his newly won trophy. He sees a cameraman on the apron taping the moment and he strolls over there. Ellingsworth stares into the camera and points at the title.
MARVELOUS: You see this?! This is the beginning! This is the beginning of the Reign of Awesomeness! I am getting sick and tired of the bullshit and bureaucracy involved in Talent Relations! I am tired of being told what to do, what to say, and how to act. But with this… no more! I am going back to the Land of Awesomeness ; long live the King… long live TD Alexander!
JOEY STYLES: Did you hear that P.?! TD Alexander is Mark Ellingsworth!
P. LICKIN: And I care because?
JOEY STYLES: He’s the King of Awesomeness!
P. LICKIN: Your mom, aunt and sister said that I was awesomeness last night.
JOEY STYLES: …
P. LICKIN: Silence, the way I like you.
)-)-)
Britannia Heavyweight Championship - Special Ref: Lee Ryan
I will dedicate
And sacrifice my everything for just a second's worth
Of how my story's ending
And I wish I could know if the directions that I take
And all the choices that I make won't end up all for nothing
Stepping from behind the curtain emerges Gunthar, clad in an Armani business suit and wearing his ever present mirrored sunglasses. He surveys the jeering crowd before stepping to the side, clearing the way for his employer. As Scott DiBiase walks through the curtain, a green dollar sign-shaped spotlight washes over him.
Show me what it's for
Make me understand it
I've been crawling in the dark looking for the answer
Is there something more than what i've been handed?
I've been crawling in the dark looking for the answer
Ring Announcer: Approaching the ring at this time, accompanied by Gunthar... hailing from Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada! Weighing in at two hundred and forty-eight pounds and standing six feet, two inches tall... he is... Scott DiBiase!
With a cocky smile, but disdain in his eyes, Scott slowly makes his way to the ring with Gunthar flanking him.
Help me carry on
Assure me it's ok to use my heart and not my eyes
To navigate the darkness
Will the ending be ever coming suddenly?
Will I ever get to see the ending to my story?
Approaching the ringside area, a particularly animated fan lets Scott know exactly what he thinks of him, but Scott simply rubs his thumb against his index and middle fingers in the classic money taunt, while mouthing "money is everything," which only serves to irritate the fans even more.
Show me what it's for
Make me understand it
I've been crawling in the dark looking for the answer
Is there something more than what i've been handed?
I've been crawling in the dark looking for the answer
Scott climbs up the ring steps and steps through the top and middle ropes to enter the ring. As Gunthar climbs the ring steps to follow, he pauses to glare at the crowd through his sunglasses before entering the ring himself.
So when and how will I know?
Climbing the turnbuckle facing the camera, Scott points out into the crowd with his right hand and jaw jacks at the fans in the front row.
How much further do I have to go?
How much longer until I finally know?
Because I'm looking and I just can't see what's in front of me
In front of me
Stepping down from the turnbuckle, Scott regards the fans with the money taunt and his smile widens as they shower him with boos.
Show me what it's for
Make me understand it
I've been crawling in the dark looking for the answer
Is there something more than what i've been handed?
I've been crawling in the dark looking for the answer
The song comes to and end and the lights come back up while Scott nonchalantly leans back in his corner.
(-(-(
DiBiase and Jason Lee are in the ring, A Whole bunch of flipping and high fiving goes on as "Mighty Morphin 'Rasslin Rangers' blares through the PA system. The Black Black Ranger does some hip break dancing moves on his way to the ring. Black Black, Lightning Yellow and Pretty Pink all come down the ramp, doing their flips and flops. Black and Yellow slide in the ring as the bell rings, and DiBiase and Jason attack with punches. The bell rings as Jason and DiBiase dump Yellow and Jason goes to work on Black. Jason chokes him with a boot as Lee Ryan tells him to break it off...
JOEY STYLES: Lee Ryan is not letting any shenanigans happen in this matchup...
P. LICKIN: What happened? I was texting your mom what I wanted her to wear later...
Jason Lee picks up Black, but Yellow hits a blind tag and climbs the turnbuckle. Yellow comes off and hits a bulldog on Jason Lee. Yellow hits a backflip splash and covers. Lee Ryan counts 1... kickout. Yellow picks Jason Lee up, but Jason Lee breaks the hold, kicks Yellow to the midsection and hits a DDT. Suddenly, Alexia comes running down the ramp with a steel chair. DiBiase hops off the apron and walks over with a big smile on his face. Alexia stops at the bottom of the ramp as Yellow tags in Black while Jason Lee walks over. Alexia tosses the steel chair in the ring, over Jason Lee's head. He takes a few steps back to catch it, and Black comes in hitting Black Power into the chair in Jason Lee's face! DiBiase goes to get in the ring, but Alexia yanks him back out as Black Black covers, and Lee Ryan counts ".1 ..2 ...3!!!" The crowd cheers as Alexia slaps DiBiase in the face, and yells "Don't ever get into MY matches again!" then walks off as DiBiase stands there, stunned. )-)-)
Scott DiBiase (c)(c) and Jason Lee (c) Vs.
"Wrasslin Rangers"
Black Black Ranger and Lightning Yellow Ranger w/Pretty Pink
World Tag-Team Championships
(The VWF goes to commercial...)
(The VWF returns from commercial...)
(-(-(
JOEY STYLES: It’s main event time folks and it’s a rematch that people have been salivating over.
The crowd is loud and fully charged, fan signs flapping amongst the flashing cameras. The lights dim down and the crowd falls silent; “Hero” by Skillet sounds out from the speakers as the fans are covered in a canopy of multi-coloured lights. From the smoke Lee Ryan, wearing his trademark long sleeve shirt with the sleeves rolled up, emerges full of life as the crowd roar out in excitement; Lee moves towards the left hand side of the stage. Looking out at the crowd, feeding off the electricity in the air, getting pumped up just standing in front of such a large audience before moving swiftly over to the opposing side of the stage. Once again looking out over the crowd, Lee roars out in excitement before striding back to the centre of the stage. He pauses for a second as he looks around the packed arena; waiting for the perfect moment, Lee times his movements with the music. He beats his chest twice and throws his hands up in air. In perfect harmony with the music and Lee’s movements, the entrance ramp explodes into a warzone of fireworks. And as if his movements commanded the explosions, Lee beats his chest two more times and the fireworks erupt to a spectacular conclusion.
ANNOUNCER: Introducing the challenger. Hailing from London, England! Weighing in at two hundred and twenty five pounds and standing six feet, two inches tall...“All That” Lee Ryan!
The crowd cheers are almost deafening as the young superstars name is announced. Lee begins to make his way down to the ring slapping the hands of frantic fans in the front few rows. Arriving at ringside, Lee climbs up onto the ring apron and then up the turnbuckle; once again he looks out over the crowd all frantically screaming his name. “All That” steps through the ropes and immediately strides over to the opposite turnbuckle and climbs up to the second rope; he gazes out once more taking in the sight of the packed out structure. Once again moving in perfect synchronisation with the music, he throws his hands up in the air, roaring out to the crowd; as he does golden fireworks erupt from the corner posts, diagonally crossing each other three times. Lee beats his chest a couple more times, showing his respect of the VWF fans, before dropping back down to the mat.
JOEY STYLES: Lee Ryan looks fully psyched up for this match P.
P. LICKIN: Yep, means it’ll be even sweeter when the Champ leaves him broken and crying in the middle of the ring.
The lights go out and are replaced with green and white flashing strobe lights as the opening riff of Hoobastank’s “Crawling in the Dark” blares over the sound system, while the crowd immediately starts to boo at a volume which threatens to drown everything else out. As Scott DiBiase walks through the curtain with the Eurocontinental Championship belt secured around his, a green dollar sign-shaped spotlight washes over him.
ANNOUNCER: And introducing his opponent. Approaching the ring at this time, hailing from Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada! Weighing in at two hundred and forty-eight pounds and standing six feet, two inches tall... he is the Eurocontinental Champion... Scott DiBiase!
The referee goes to take the Eurocontinental Championship belt from around Scott DiBiase’s waist only to have his hand slapped away by the Champ. Wagging his finger at the official, DiBiase unclips the Eurocontinental belt, then glances over at his opponent as he arrogantly kisses the title before finally handing it to the referee.
JOEY STYLES: Well if he’s finished showing off, maybe we can get started already.
P. LICKIN: Shut your mouth Styles! The Champion needs time to properly prepare for his title defence.
As the referee hands the title belt over to the time keeper, an impatient Lee Ryan decides that he’s waited long enough to get his hands on DiBiase again and rushes his opponent; caught off guard, Scott DiBiase is quickly overpowered. Nailing the Champion with a series of thunderous blows, Ryan whips him to the ropes and levels him with an almighty clothesline. The referee calls for the bell and the match is officially under way.
P. LICKING: About time, we’re not all like Styles’ Mom; we don’t get paid by the hour ya know!!
Picking the downed Champion up, Ryan hammers him around the head a few more times – getting a warning from the official in response – before lifting him up and dropping him again with a vicious standing clothesline. Stomping on his prone opponent, Ryan seems in danger of letting his built up frustration get the better of him. Once again picking DiBiase up, Ryan sends him into one of the turnbuckles; charging in after him. At the last moment, DiBiase lifts up a protective boot catching his opponent in the face. Reeling backwards from the surprise blow, Ryan again charges in only to be met with another boot sending him off kilter. Not allowing the challenger to regain his balance, DiBiase climbs up to the second turnbuckle, jumps off and sends Ryan crashing face first into the mat with a double axe handle to the head. Taking the lead, DiBiase goes to work on the challenger’s arm, stomping on it a couple of times before jumping up and driving his whole body weight down onto his shoulder. Dragging Ryan over to the ropes, DiBiase lays his opponents arm on the bottom rope, then using the ropes as a makeshift springboard, leaps up and again drops his weight down on the shoulder once more. Ryan cries out in agony. Not wanting to let his advantage slip, DiBiase pulls Ryan back to his feet then runs at the opposing ropes. “All That” catches the Champ on the rebound and sends him throat first into the ropes with a drop toe hold. DiBiase writhes about, clutching his throat and desperately trying to force air back into his lungs. Ryan picks up DiBiase and rocks him with a couple of well placed European uppercuts. Whipping DiBiase to the ropes, Ryan catches him on the rebound with a spinning back breaker. Realising he can wrap things up quickly, Ryan heads to the top turnbuckle.
JOEY STYLES: If he hits the Leap of Faith, this one will be all over.
P. LICKIN: He’s got to hit it first moron!
As the challenger climbs the corner post, the referee checks on the downed Champion. DiBiase grabs the official and shoves him into the ropes, causing “All That” to lose his balance and crotch himself on the turnbuckle. A chorus of boos echo throughout the arena as the referee chastises a smiling DiBiase. A wicked grin on his face, the Eurocontinental Champion climbs back to his feet and renews his attack on “All That”. Still prone on the corner post DiBiase climbs up and hammers Ryan around the head a few times before hauling him up and driving him back down to the mat hard with a superplex. With the challenger down, DiBiase takes the time to return to his feet and mocks Ryan’s trademark “what do you think of the merchandise” pose; much to the disapproval of the fans. Lifting “All That” up, DiBiase drills him with a concussion educing DDT eliciting groans of worry from the crowd. A young girl at ringside catches the Champions attention; DiBiase sees that she’s holding a sign showing her support for Lee Ryan. Sliding out of the ring, DiBiase motions over to the young fan and begins to hurl abuse at both the fan and her family. The young girl bursts into tears as the Eurocontinental Champion grabs hold of her handmade sign and proceeds to rip it up in front of her. The crowd suddenly springs to life as an ignored Lee Ryan flies from the top turnbuckle using his own body as a projectile and comes down hard on an unsuspecting Scott DiBiase. A “THIS IS AWESOME!!” chant echoes around the arena as both men lay on the arena floor. DiBiase is first to his feet and moves to press his advantage but as he attempts to pick the challenger up is met with several blows to the gut. Sending the Champion staggering back with an uppercut, Ryan climbs to his feet and rushes DiBiase, almost decapitating him with a clothesline. The challenger stops for a moment to check on the now beaming young fan before sending DiBiase back inside the squared circle. Sliding in after his opponent, “All That” continues his offence landing a standing moonsault. As his name begins to get chanted Ryan once again climbs the turnbuckle, leaping off and landing an amazing moonsault legdrop. The challenger goes for a cover as the crowd go crazy, 1…2…KICK OUT!!
JOEY STYLES: That was almost all she wrote.
A little surprised that DiBiase kicked out, Ryan stomps on him a couple of times before picking him up and whipping him to the corner post. DiBiase crashes into the turnbuckle chest first and staggers backwards only to be hammered by “All That” springing off the opposing rope with a flying forearm. His trademark cockiness returned, Ryan flashes the audience a grin as he climbs to his feet eliciting a chorus of cheers from amorous female fans.
P. LICKING: Does this guy ever stop showing off?!?!
Focusing back on the Champion, Ryan once again springs to the top ropes and leaps off at his opponent; now slowly returning to his feet. At the last second, DiBiase catches the challenger and drills him with a spinebuster.
JOEY STYLES: Did you hear that impact? My God, that’s it; it has to be all over!!
DiBiase drapes an arm over Lee Ryan to make the cover, 1…2…KICK OUT!!
P. LICKIN: Oh come on! That was a three count!
JOEY STYLES: He took too long to make the cover.
Crying out in frustration DiBiase pulls the challenger back to his feet, lifts him up high and throws him down hard with a brutal powerbomb. Again he makes the cover, 1…2…KICK OUT!!
P. LICKING: Someone needs to teach this referee how to count to three!!
Not believing what happened, DiBiase grabs hold of the referee and starts to vent his anger and frustrations at the official. The Champions attention diverted by his anger, Ryan is given valuable breathing time. Clawing his way slowly over to his opponent, “All That” grabs hold of DiBiase and rolls him up into a schoolboy pin attempt. The referee drops to count but DiBiase uses the challenger’s momentum against him and rolls through the pin attempt bringing them both back up to their feet. Grabbing Ryan’s arms, the Champion quickly applies the MILLION DOLLAR DREAM!! Ryan hollers out in anguish as DiBiase leans back, clamping the hold even tighter.
P. LICKIN: Now this is what I’m talking about!!
DiBiase turns around and stares out into the crowd with a smile of wicked satisfaction as “All That” slowly starts to fade. The referee leans in to check on Lee Ryan.
JOEY STYLES: I hate to say it but Lee Ryan looks out of it to me.
The official lifts Ryan’s arm, it falls. He lifts it for a second time and it falls. He lifts it for a third time and it falls…but not all the way.
P. LICKIN: I don’t believe this.
The fans begin to rally behind “All That” as he attempts to lever his way out of the submission hold. Fighting to regain control, DiBiase is unable to stop the determined challenger from inching his way towards the ropes. As Ryan comes within a breath of clutching the rope, the Eurocontinental Champion drags him back to the centre of the ring and clamps the hold in tight once more. The crowd plead with “All That” not to give up, to carry on fighting but even they know he can’t last forever. The referee again leans in to check on the champion. He goes to lift up Ryan’s hand but is battered away by “All That” who once again tries to claw his way to the ropes. The fans are going crazy, furiously shouting their support for the challenger as he edges closer. Stretching for all he can, Ryan reaches out and manages to clutch the rope. The official forces Scott DiBiase to break the hold. His eyes coloured by pure rage, the Champion pulls Ryan to his feet and begins to hammer him about the head with vicious lefts and rights. Hurling him at the ropes, DiBiase hits a rebounding Ryan with a nasty back elbow, knocking him clean off his feet. Clambering back to his feet, DiBiase climbs the nearest corner post and jumps off, nailing the challenger with a flying elbow drop.
JOEY STYLES: Now that had to hurt.
The Champion picks “All That” up and whips him to the ropes, but Ryan counters and instead sends DiBiase charging. As he rebounds back at the challenger, Ryan drills him hard with a brutal powerslam before collapsing to the mat himself. The referee begins to count both men down, 1…2…3…4…5…6…DiBiase begins to stir…7…8…the Champion uses the ropes to pull himself back to his feet. The count stopped, DiBiase stalks over to his opponent and stamps on him twice for good measure before picking him up. Lifting Ryan up he once again applies the cobra clutch; DiBiase stares out at the crowd, all the while smiling in satisfaction. DiBiase lifts Ryan up and twists his body looking to hit a cobra clutch slam. At the last second, Ryan spins his momentum, grabs DiBiase’s arms and reverses the move using his opponents added momentum to drive him down with a DOUBLE IMPACT!!
JOEY STYLES: Oh my God!!
P. LICKIN: Oh shut up!!
JOEY STYLES: It’s like watching history repeat itself!
Both men are down as the referee once again starts to count them out, 1…2…3…4…5…neither man moves…6…7…8…9…Lee Ryan springs up to his feet sending the crowd crazy. The challenger begins to strut around the ring feeding off his many supporters, psyching himself up. Picking DiBiase up, Ryan boots him in the midsection and charges at the opposing ropes. Rebounding back, “All That” leaps up and grabs hold of the Champion driving him down face first with a jumping spinning bulldog. The fans are at fever pitch as they cheer the challenger on to finish his opponent off. Springing back to his feet, Ryan rushes to the corner post and leaps to the top turnbuckle. The challenger sizes up the Champion and...just as he goes to leap off Jason Lee jumps the security barrier. Telegraphing the intrusion, Ryan leaps off the top rope and comes crashing down on Jason Lee on the outside. The crowd explode into yet another “THIS IS AWESOME!!” chant as “All That” tries to climb back to his feet. With his opponents attention diverted, Scott DiBiase slides out of the ring and grabs the ring announcers chair from underneath him. Still trying to get back to his feet, Ryan doesn’t see DiBiase coming up behind him with the steel chair raised, ready to strike. From inside the ring, the referee grabs hold of DiBiase’s makeshift weapon and tries to snatch it from him. Sensing an advantage, the Eurocontinental Champion releases his hold on the chair causing it to spring back and smash the official square in the face.
JOEY STYLES: The official is down!!
P. LICKIN: Can’t blame DiBiase for that Styles; technically the ref hit himself in the face with the chair.
Seeing the ref go down, DiBiase quickly presses his advantage and begins to stomp on the challenger, knocking him back down to the ground. Recovering from his aerial attack, Jason Lee joins his partner as the Tag Team Champions begin to seriously double team the challenger. After a few more stomps for good measure, Jason picks Ryan up and slides him into the ring, following quickly behind him. Grabbing hold of Ryan’s hair, Jason pulls him to his feet, lefts him up and hits a ring quacking powerslam. Smiling arrogantly as he climbs the turnbuckle, Scott DiBiase signals for his team mate to set “All That” up. Only too eager to oblige, Jason lifts Ryan up and goes for a piledriver – at the exact same moment, DiBiase leaps off the top rope and adds his gravity enhanced weight to the move – both men drive Ryan’s skull into the mat with an injury inducing spike piledriver.
JOEY STYLES: I think they may have just killed “All That” Lee Ryan!
P. LICKIN: We can only hope Styles, we can only hope!
The crowd bathe the ring in pure animosity as the Tag Team Champions celebrate their actions by arrogantly posing over Lee Ryan’s prone body. DiBiase signals for his team mate to once again pick the challenger up while he smugly looks out towards the fans. As Jason holds the almost rag doll form of Lee Ryan, DiBiase lets rip with several patronising slaps to the face. Taking Ryan from Jason, the Eurocontinental Champion sets him up and drills him down to the mat with a COBRA CLUTCH SLAM!!
JOEY STYLES: This is disgusting! We need another referee out here!
Once again Jason picks up the battered Ryan and holds him while his partner continues to berate him. The crowd erupt into frenzied cheers as “A Girl Like That” by Eleventh Hour explodes from the speakers.
JOEY STYLES: Could it be? She’s been conspicuous as of late by her absence, but could it be? Is she back?
P. LICKIN: Shut up Styles!
Dressed in waist cut, tight fitting jeans and a cut down tiny T-Shirt, Cheyenne steps out onto the stage, much to the delight of the males in attendance. With a determined look on her face, Cheyenne begins to hurriedly make her way down the entrance ramp.
JOEY STYLES: Cheyenne is back!
P. LICKIN: Will you shut up Styles! It’s almost impossible to masturb....I mean watch, almost impossible to watch with you prattling on in my ear!
Cheyenne reaches the ring and calls out to Lee Ryan, imploring the challenger not to give up, to carry on fighting. Slowly but surely an “ALL THAT!! ALL THAT!!” chant begins to spread through the crowd until the noise is practically deafening. DiBiase leans over the ropes and takes a swing at Cheyenne, but the fiery brunette ducks the attack and instead slaps the Eurocontinental Champion. Incensed, DiBiase climbs out of the ring and goes after the busty brunette. Chasing her around the ring, the Eurocontinental Champion finally catches her by the Swahili announcers table. Back in the ring, Jason watches on as his team mate begins to chastise Cheyenne. As the brunette cries out, “All That” suddenly comes back to life. Driving the back of his head up into the nose of Jason, Ryan forces the startled big man to release his grip on the challenger. Kicking Jason in the gut, Ryan throws him down into the ropes then uses him as a human spring board to jump the ropes and come crashing down on Scott DiBiase. As the fans continue to go crazy, Cheyenne rushes to Lee Ryan’s side and helps him to his feet. “All That” hugs his long term companion before sliding back in the ring. Picking up the still dazed Jason Lee, Ryan whips him to the ropes and drops him with a leaping clothesline on the rebound. With his attention diverted, Ryan fails to see Scott DiBiase slide into the ring behind him and pick up the discarded steel chair; Cheyenne tries to warn her man, but her cries are lost amongst the noise of the audience. Preparing to strike, DiBiase lifts the chair above his head and swings the weapon down hard. At the last possible moment, Lee Ryan ducks down and instead of hitting his opponent, Scott DiBiase instead waffles his own tag team partner.
JOEY STYLES: DiBiase takes out his own tag team partner! Now the odds are finally even!
P. LICKIN: How can you say that Styles? Ryan blatantly manipulated Scott into using that steel chair.
The Champ turns around and gets rocked by several stiff shots to the face. Ryan snatches the chair from DiBiase’s grasp and raises it in preparation to strike.
P. LICKIN: DiBiase was right Styles, the only way that Ryan can beat him is to copy him.
“All That” goes to bring the chair down on the Champion, but hesitates. As the crowd urge him on, Lee Ryan looks at the chair, then at DiBiase, then back to the chair. Shaking his head, Ryan throws the chair over the ropes to the outside; narrowly missing the replacement official finally making his way down to the ring. As the ref slides into the ring and begins to roll out the unmoving form of Jason Lee, Scott DiBiase drops to his knees and stops the challenger’s momentum with an infertility inducing low blow.
JOEY STYLES: How did the official miss such a blatant low blow?
A chorus of boos echo throughout the arena as the new referee chastises a delighted DiBiase. A wicked grin on his face, the Champion climbs back to his feet and renews his attack on “All That”. Throwing Ryan to the ropes, DiBiase catches him on the rebound a nails him with a wicked looking exploder suplex then quickly goes for the cover, 1...2...KICK OUT!! DiBiase screams at the referee to count quicker. Lifting “All That” up, DiBiase drills him with a concussion educing right hand. The challenger staggers, so DiBiase hits him again and again until Ryan drops to one knee. DiBiase turns and bounces off the ropes kicking Ryan hard in the face on the rebound. He goes for the pin 1…2…KICK OUT!!
JOEY STYLES: How did he kick out from that?
DiBiase picks up the challenger and whips him to the ropes. He goes for a clothesline but misses as Ryan ducks under his arm. Ryan grabs hold of DiBiase’s head and drops down with a spine splitting neck breaker. With both men down, the official begins to count them out, 1…2…3…4…5…6…DiBiase begins to stir…7…8…the Eurocontinental Champion uses the ropes to pull himself back to his feet. The count stopped, DiBiase stalks over to his opponent and stamps on him twice for good measure before picking him up. Setting Ryan up, DiBiase stares down at Cheyenne and licks his lips; much to her dismay. Then smiling out at the crowd, DiBiase lifts “All That” up and drives him down hard with yet another COBRA CLUTCH SLAM!! Again he goes for the pin 1…2…KICK OUT!!
P. LICKIN: Oh Come on, slow count anybody?
JOEY STYLES: He’s just doing his job P.
P. LICKIN: That does it Styles; tonight I’m not gonna tell your Mom what the safety word is!
DiBiase slams his fists down with frustration before picking Ryan up. Lifting the challenger up, DiBiase goes for a suplex but Ryan flips over DiBiase’s head and bounces off the ropes, nailing the challenger with a flying forearm on the rebound. Cheyenne repeatedly slams her hands down on the ring apron in an attempt to rally her man back to his feet. Not one to disappoint, Ryan kick flips his way back onto his feet causing the audience to explode into a new found frenzy. “All That” picks up DiBiase and body slams him down to the canvas. The crowd begin yet another “ALL THAT!! ALL THAT!!” chant as the challenger begins to climb to the top rope. Sizing up his opponent, Ryan flies up and goes for the LEAP OF FAITH!! At the last possible second, DiBiase rolls out of the way and Ryan comes crashing down hard. The Champion wobbles back to his feet and slowly staggers over to Ryan. He picks up the challenger and swings a decapitation clothesline in his direction. “All That” catches DiBiase’s arm and flips him down to the mat. Quickly following him down, Ryan grabs hold of DiBiase’s arm and locks in the ALL THAT EXPERIENCE!! DiBiase howls in anguish as “All That” begins to pull back on the Champion’s head.
P. LICKIN: Hold on Scott, hold on!!
JOEY STYLES: Lee Ryan’s got him in the middle of the ring, there’s nowhere for him to go.
DiBiase tries to hold on. Ryan leans further back cinching the hold in tighter. The referee checks if the Champion is still conscious. Ryan lets out a defiant roar as he pulls back as hard as he can. DiBiase cries out in agony and.... Jason Lee pulls the ref out of the ring! Jason punches the ref in the face, knocking him out. Lee Ryan lets go of the hold, seeing Jason Lee. He yells over the ropes, but Jason Lee hops up on the apron and the two begin to brawl. Suddenly, Jonny Cedrone comes running down the ramp... wearing a referee shirt! Jason grabs Lee's head and jumps off the apron, hitting a snake eyes. Ryan snaps back, hitting the mat. Cedrone grabs Jason Lee from behind, and throws him face first into the steel stairs. Cedrone slides in the ring and him and DiBiase get in each other's face, yelling. Cedrone points to the shirt, saying he's legal as Ryan pulls himself up. He shakes his head and grabs DiBiase from behind, spinning him around, kicking him to the midsection and hitting the Double Impact! Cedrone counts as Ryan covers. ".1 ..2 ...3!!!"
ANNOUNCER: Your winner and the NEW VWF Eurocontinental Champion…”All That” Lee Ryan!!
JOEY STYLES: Lee Ryan did it and he did it fair and square.
P. LICKIN: That’s open to debate. I hardly call Cheyenne’s interference fair do you Styles? And what does Jonny Cedrone think he's doing? This is a farce! A farce I tells ya!
JOEY STYLES: Do you even hear some of the rubbish that comes out of your mouth sometimes?
The arena almost explodes with excitement as Cedrone hands “All That” the Eurocontinental title belt. Rushing to his side, Cheyenne helps the newly crowned Champion back to his feet as Skillet’s “Hero” replays. Ryan looks down at the Eurocontinental belt then out to the cheering crowd.
JOEY STYLES: That’s all we have time for this week folks. Join us next time for another VWF Crucifiction.
P. LICKIN: Remember Styles, no safety word!
The show comes to an end with the new Eurocontinental Champion holding his title high for all to see.
)-)-)
Eurocontinental Championship
We see The Viking King in His office, when suddenly Kyle Bacon enter holding something.
Bacon: Excuse me sir….
Viking: You are so respectful of His royalty.
Bacon: This was on my office desk sir.
Viking: You have an office? A desk?
Bacon: Ok fine it was on the toilet in the men’s bathroom when I was to…
Viking: Ok ok ok stop there, The Viking King understands. What is it?
Bacon hands Viking a smoking and partially burned up envelope with a message inside. Viking takes it.
Viking: It’s still hot….?
Viking takes out the letter.
Viking: (reading outloud) There appears to be something cooking up at VWF Headquarters. Too bad nobody was invited to the barbeque but me. Take Care. Thomas Halloway; The Caretaker. (end of message) He is confused. What the fuck is this?
Suddenly Viking’s cell phone rings. Viking answers it.
Viking: This is Him. What the…what are you talking about? When did this happen? What channel!?
The Viking King’s eyes widen, he becomes angry. He reaches for a remote control and turns on the tv and turns it to channel 5 news, which is reporting on VWF Headquarters being burned down.
Reporter: Evacuation was successful, while some were injured on the way as the complete destruction of VWF Headquarters continues to ensue before our eyes, officials have quickly listed the cause as arson even as the tall structure of the world famous efed continues to become engulfed in flames.
Viking and Bacon watch in shock, as does the rest of the roster we see as the camera changes views repeatedly. Viking stares down at the message, crumbles it up and angrily throws it at the tv as the news helicopters show Caretaker’s cross outlined by fire surrounding the building on the ground.
Viking: Halloway’s dead. He…will…pay for this.
Viking takes the tv and throws out his office window….while the camera takes us live to the burning VWF building as it begins to collapse as Crucifiction ends.
