Monday, August 30, 2010
The Pyros hit at the top of the ramp all the way down to the ring and on the ring posts as Crucifiction begins. The crowd are going bonkers all over the arena and there isn't a fan in his seat in this packed 17500 person arena.
JOEY STYLES: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to VWF Crucifiction...
P. LICKIN: Welcome to... DEEEZ NUTTTSSSS
JOEY STYLES: WHAT???
P. LICKIN: These nuts. Their delicious. Salted peanuts man, should be our new sponsor!
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JOEY STYLES: This match should prove to be a great contest P. Both AJ and Ryan Jones are young up and comers here in the VWF. They are ready to go!
P. LICKIN: Speaking of 'ready to go”... you ever snort Viagra?
JOEY STYLES: Uhm... no.
P. LICKIN: You gotta try it Joey. It's freaking great! I've had a boner for two straight weeks.
JOEY STYLES: …...
P. LICKIN: What's the matter Joey, cat got your tongue?
JOEY STYLES: That was too much information man.
P. LICKIN: Hey. Don't get pissed at me. You should see the effect it had on your Mom.
JOEY STYLES: ….. I don't even want to ask do I?
P. LICKIN: Her nipples have been erect for days.
JOEY STYLES: I hate you.
P. LICKIN: Isn't there a match going on?
JOEY STYLES: I don't even care anymore. You've sucked the soul out of me.
P. LICKIN: Speaking of sucking souls, I need to call your Mom again tonight.
JOEY STYLES: …..
P. LICKIN: Your Ma's got some damn fine little toes. You haven't lived till you've played with Ma Styles' toes and made her go Wee Wee Wee all the way home.
JOEY STYLES: Somebody please kill me....
P. LICKIN: I don't think he'd do that. Come on Joey, Nobody wants to kill you.
JOEY STYLES: Will he?
P. LICKIN: …... Joey, don't talk that way. Your Mom gets so worried about you.
JOEY STYLES: **Sigh** Looks like this match won't happen. Neither guy can be found.
P. LICKIN: I hope they didn't get into my powdered Viagra.
(Suddenly, "Don't Hate Me" hits, and out comes American Storm. Chris Monsoon, Alex Thunder, Crimson Lightening and Red Tornado come down the ramp, grinning. They all roll in the ring as the crowd boos. AJ, Jones and Wilcock all look at each other as the foursome stand up, circling the three rookies. They look at the veterans in the ring, and Crimson nods. American Storm starts to unleash punches, beating down the threesome in the ring. Crimson kicks Jones to the midsection and hits The Flash. Monsoon kicks AJ to the midsection, and hits a Pendulum DDT. Thunder kicks Wilcock to the midsection and hits a Fisherman's DDT. All three men put a boot on one of the men as Red Tornado tells the ref to make the count. The ref counts ".1 ..2 ...3!!!" They pick the three men up and start to dump them out of the ring as Crimson is tossed a mic...
CRIMSON: You see that? You see that fans? You wanted entertainment! Are you not entertained? Do you not like what you see? Good, because I LOVE what I see. I see the next dominant stable in The VWF kicking ass and taking names. I see a group that is just plain American... and better than you. So let's bring out the next group of dingbats. Ring the bell, get the bodies down here, let's go! )-)-)
(-(-(
Hank Paulson Jr and Somebody come down the ramp as the American Storm get ready...
P. LICKIN: Woo! Look, it's Red Tornado!
JOEY STYLES: And the rest of The American Storm.
P. LICKIN: But... Red Tornado!
JOEY STYLES: Alex Thunder and Chris Monsoon are taking on Hank Paulson Jr. and Somebody.
P. LICKIN: They could be taking on a Horse and a Donkey for all I care. Look at Red Tornado.
JOEY STYLES: You just like anything with boobs right?
P. LICKIN: Wellll..... She's no Ma Styles, but I'd hit that.
Alex Thunder and Chris Monsoon completely dominate Hank Paulson Jr. and Somebody. So much so that it's not even worth getting in any “Somebody” jokes. Everybody is tired of that schtick anyways. Monsoon and Thunder hit a bunch of double team moves, and use quick tags, along with cheating skills to beat The New York Connection like John Tees beating his meat (don't ask if you don't know.) The End of the match comes when Thunder hits the Fisherman's DDT, and Monsoon comes off the top turnbuckle for a 450 splash. Monsoon goes for the pin and the NYC are down for the count. ".1 ..2 ...3!!!" )-)-)
Vs.
"The New York Connection"
Hank Paulson Jr. and Somebody
JP McManus paraded down the corridor, holding his Scottish flag high. His Father, Keith, lingered behind slightly. As he turned the corner, waving his flag proudly, he encountered one of the VWF’s unused advertising board. The superstar on the board was the one and only, TD Alexander, standing tall at 8 feet with the Britannia Heavyweight title over his shoulder. The cardboard cut-out had a prideful gleam in his eyes, though McManus’ snarl remained.
JP: ‘Ey, look at this big ugly fucker.
Keith: If they’re gonna advertise this pile of shite, they could at least slap a mask on his ugly face.
JP: You think they give a shit about the ball-bag he calls a face?
Keith shrugs. The two Scotsman simply stand there, gazing upwards at this monstrosity.
JP: You know what Dad, I’ve seen this sort of shit everywhere I go. The same big-headed, egotistical American’s get their ugly faces plastered everywhere feasible simply because the public love what they’re about. It’s bullshit, it’s some advertising paradise in this stupid country. You can’t go one single block without seeing some ugly fuck enjoying their five minutes of fame on a billboard about prostate exams or something like this. In 5 years time, mark my words, TD Alexander will be looking forward to the prostate billboards.
Keith: Why’s he looking so smug?
JP pondered the brute’s face.
JP: Probably because he’s savouring that strap over his shoulder. It feels good, right TD?
The cut-out remains motionless.
JP: This fuckin’ neek has held that title for the last time Dad. Look at his fucking smug little grin. He doesn’t realise that very shortly I will be coming after him to make that Britannia Heavyweight title mine. He won’t be smiling when he finds out what I’ve done to his billboard.
As the camera zooms into JP’s face, he leans back slightly and grins. The sound of a fly being undone and some sort of liquid being poured against something is heard, perhaps it is the noise of Johnny P. McManus’ urine splattering against a cardboard cut-out of the VWF Britannia Heavyweight champion, TD Alexander.
Keith: You know when you win that title, they’ll make one of you too, JP?
With this, the scene fades back to ringside.
(The VWF goes to commercial...)
(The VWF returns from commercial...)
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The show comes back from a commercial break and the match is in full swing as Nobody slaps on a side headlock. Nobody tries to clamp down on the hold, but Saint powers out and lands a huge back suplex with both men crashing to the canvas. Saint rolls over for a cover. 1…2...KICK OUT!!! Saint manages to get to his feet first and delivers a hard kick to Nobody’s ribs. Saint picks him up. He bounces off the ropes and connects with a cross body block. He makes a cover. 1…2...KICK OUT!!! Saint gets up and climbs to the top turnbuckle. Nobody gets to his feet. He turns around to see Saint flying off the top rope. Nobody reacts and connects with another dropkick as Saint crashes down to the canvas, and rolls out of the ring. The official begins the count for Saint on the outside and Nobody still being down on the canvas. Saint rolls in at the count of five. Nobody is able to reach his feet first as Saint rolls into the ring. He puts a couple of boots to Saint’s spine before climbing to the top rope. He waits for Saint to stand up and lands a huge flying lariat. Nobody makes a quick cover. 1…2…KICK OUT!!! Saint is able to get the shoulder up to the amazement of Nobody. Nobody slams the mat in frustration. He walks to the other corner and signals for Saint to stand up. Saint staggers to his feet. Nobody charges and attempts to clothesline his opponents head from his shoulders, but Saint moves aside and Nobody crashes into the steel post. He staggers back and Saint rolls him up for a pin. 1…2…KICK OUT!!! Nobody holds his chest in pain. Saint picks him up and slams him down hard. Saint again picks up Nobody and whips him hard into the turnbuckle charging at him as he rebounds out of the corner. At the last moment, Nobody executes a picture perfect drop toe hold taking his opponent off his feet and causing Saint’s neck to land on the middle rope. Nobody climbs out onto the ring apron and lands a big leg drop over the back of Saint’s prone neck. Rolling back into the ring, Nobody make the cover, 1…2…KICK OUT!!!
JOEY STYLES: Saint is able to get the shoulder up!
P. LICKIN: Who knows, maybe with enough whiskey I could do the same with your Mom.
JOEY STYLES: What? Get your shoulder up?
P. LICKIN: No...I mean...huh, I didn’t really think that insult through enough.
Nobody picks his opponent up and throws him into the corner. He delivers a few forearm shots and then hoists him to the top turnbuckle. Nobody attempts a superplex, but Saint punches him a few times. Saint then uses his technical knowledge to tangle up Nobody’s arms and sends him crashing down to the mat with a huge belly to belly suplex. Both men are down as the ref begins his mandatory count. He gets to four before Saint puts an arm over the unmoving form of Nobody. 1...2…KICK OUT!!!
JOEY STYLES: How on earth did he kick out of that?
P. LICKIN: What are you talking about Styles? Nobody kicked out.
JOEY STYLES: Yes I know he did.
P. LICKIN: Who did?
JOEY STYLES: Nobody!
P. LICKIN: No need to be rude, I was only asking a question.
Slamming the canvas in frustration, Saint attempts another cover 1...2...KICK OUT!!! Saint picks up Nobody by his mask and delivers a snap reverse DDT. Saint slides over and makes yet another cover 1...2...KICK OUT!!!
JOEY STYLES: Nobody will not be beat!
P. LICKIN: That made absolutely no sense Styles.
JOEY STYLES: I was talking about Nobody!
P. LICKIN: So, who won’t be beat?
JOEY STYLES: Nobody!
P. LICKIN: You know, you’ve got a real attitude problem tonight Styles.
JOEY STYLES: I give up.
Saint is beyond frustrated as he signals for the end and lifts up Nobody for the TRIPLE S, but Nobody reverses it into a cradle 1...2...KICK OUT!!! Both men are down in exhaustion and pain. The official starts yet another ten count, 1…2…3…4…5…6… First to his feet, Saint notices Nobody is still down and takes advantage with a quick cover, 1...2…KICK OUT!!!
P. LICKIN: Nobody kicks out again.
JOEY STYLES: I’m not touching that one.
P. LICKIN: That’s what I said to your Mom!
Saint stands up and drags Nobody into the middle of the ring. He bounces off the ropes and delivers a jumping legdrop. He makes another cover attempt 1...2...KICK OUT!!! Saint picks him up and throws him into the corner. Saint charges him with a clothesline, but Nobody moves and Saint slams into the corner sternum first. He staggers backwards. Nobody nails his opponent from behind with an almighty release German suplex. Nobody makes a cover 1...2...KICK OUT!!! Nobody slowly gets up. He grabs Saint and slams him in the face with a huge left hand. Saint drops to a knee briefly, but regains his composure and nails Nobody with a right hand. The two men exchange blows, but Saint wins the stand up war catching Nobody off guard with a jumping enziguri kick. Saint picks up Nobody and once again goes for the TRIPLE S. At the last moment Nobody is able to hook his arm around the top rope causing Saint to fall backwards hard. Seizing the opportunity, Nobody grabs hold of Saint’s legs and flips over into a pinning combination, 1…2…KICKOUT!!!
JOEY STYLES: So close, Nobody almost had it.
P. LICKIN: Who did?
JOEY STYLES: Oh will you shut up!
A little surprised that Saint kicked out, Nobody stomps on him a couple of times before picking him up and whipping him to the corner post. Saint crashes into the turnbuckle chest first and staggers backwards only to be hammered by Nobody springing off the opposing rope with a flying forearm. Keeping his focus on his opponent, Nobody clambers to the top ropes and leaps off at his opponent; now slowly returning to his feet. Nobody hits a flying cross-body. Saint rolls it over to counter, but Nobody rolls through that as well, ending up on top. Nobody holds onto the tights and goes for the cover, ".1 ..2 ...3!!!" DING!! DING!!
JOEY STYLES: Stephen Saint finally manages to put Nobody away.
P. LICKIN: Wha.....
JOEY STYLES: Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!
)-)-)
(-(-(
The match has been going backwards and forwards for nearly ten minutes when Aggression picks Halloway up and throws him into the corner. He delivers a few forearm shots and then hoists him to the top turnbuckle. Aggression attempts a superplex, but Halloway blocks the move; punches his opponent a few times to stagger his balance, then uses his weight advantage to overpower Aggression and hoist him up onto his shoulders. With a feat of pure athleticism, Halloway jumps off and drives Aggression to the canvas with an amazing top rope powerbomb. The crowd roars at the rare manoeuvre. Both men are down as the referee begins his mandatory count. He gets to four before Halloway manages to throw an arm over the unmoving form of Aggression, 1...2…KICK OUT!!!
JOEY STYLES: How on earth did he kick out of that?
Slamming the canvas in frustration, Halloway attempts another cover, 1...2...KICK OUT!!! Halloway picks up Aggression by the hair and delivers a skull scrambling DDT. Frustrated, Halloway slides over and makes yet another cover 1...2...KICK OUT!!!
JOEY STYLES: Johnny Aggression just will not say die.
P. LICKING: He really wants to make it to the next round of the tournament.
The former Caretaker is beyond frustrated as he lifts up Aggression. Aggression grabs Halloway and rolls into a cradle, 1...2...KICK OUT!!! Both men are down in exhaustion and pain. The referee starts another ten count, 1…2…3…4…5…6… First to his feet, Halloway notices Aggression is still down and takes advantage with yet another a quick cover, 1...2…KICK OUT!!!
P. LICKIN: Ok even I’ve got to admit that this is an amazing match and I’m not easily pleased, just ask your mom Styles.
JOEY STYLES: I hate you.
Halloway stands up and drags Aggression in the middle of the ring. He bounces off the ropes and delivers a spinning elbow drop. He makes another cover attempt, 1...2...KICK OUT!!! Halloway picks his opponent up and throws him into the corner charging in after him. Aggression moves at the last second and Halloway slams into the corner sternum first. Halloway staggers out as Aggression runs up the turnbuckles and lands a corkscrew body splash that sends Halloway to the mat. Aggression makes a cover, 1...2...KICK OUT!!! Aggression slowly gets back up grabbing Halloway as he does. Winding up, Aggression slams Halloway in the face with a huge left hand. Halloway drops to a knee briefly, but regains his composure and nails Aggression with a right hand of his own. The two men exchange blows, but Halloway wins the stand up war, connecting with consecutive strikes. Halloway hits Aggression so hard that he collapses in the ring. Halloway picks up Aggression and goes for the GRAVEDIGGER. At the last moment Aggression is able to hook his arm around Halloway’s head and flips over into a pinning combination, 1…2…KICKOUT!!!
JOEY STYLES: What a match, both are fighting their hardest, neither will just lie down.
P. LICKIN: I sure don’t have that problem with your Mom Styles.
JOEY STYLES: You’re sick!!
P. LICKIN: In fact the hardest part is getting her to get off the bed and fetch me a beer.
JOEY STYLES: *sob*
Both men slowly get back to their feet. Halloway staggers over to Aggression and swings viciously, though still off balance the blow misses its mark. Aggression retaliates catching Halloway with a boot to the chin putting him flat on his back. Aggression picks Halloway up and hits a scoop slam. Aggression makes the cover, 1...2…KICK OUT!!! Aggression picks Halloway up by the hair and is stunned with a low blow. Halloway rolls Aggression up 1...2...KICK OUT!! With Aggression still in pain, the official reprimands Halloway for his dirty low blow. Laughing in the refs face, Halloway starts stomping away at the lower section of Aggression before scooping him up and planting him face first with a standing bulldog. Halloway with the cover 1...2...KICK OUT!!! Halloway again picks up Aggression, whips him towards the ropes and catches him on the rebound with powerslam Halloway once again goes for the cover, 1…2…KICK OUT!!! Halloway can’t believe it. He grabs Aggression by the head and delivers a stiff right, not once, not twice but three times before throwing him face first into the turnbuckle Halloway climbs back to his feet, grabbing Aggression as he does so. Lifting the challenger high in the air, Halloway is caught off guard as Aggression spins in midair, grabs Halloway’s head and drives him into the mat with a spinning DDT.
JOEY STYLES: What a reversal.
Aggression picks up his opponent then after battering him around the head a few times for good measure, runs at the ropes. Aggression charges back at his opponent, at the last moment Halloway lunges forward and blasts his opponent with the FIST FROM JUPITER!! Halloway shakes his head, when "Think About The End" hits, and out comes The Viking King. Halloway stops and looks up the ramp as The Viking King begins to talk...
VIKING: Thomas... Thomas... Thomas. Who do you think you are? Do you really think... that you can come into The Viking King's fed and DESTROY it? You... you BURNED DOWN The Viking King's new, shiny corporate headquarters. Sure, the insurance money is going to make The Viking King a very rich man, but it was HIS building. HIS to build. HIS to use. HIS to destroy if He saw fit. Not yours. And now... you think The Viking King is going to run the risk of YOU not only winning a title shot, but winning teh World Heavyweight Belt? No no no no no, THomas. You aren't GOING to make it one step farther. Cause... referee... it appears that Thomas is wearing an illegal shade of black on his outfit. Sounds like a DQ to Him, eh?
(And with that, the ref calls for the bell DQing Halloway. He glares up the ring, mumbling "Burn... burn you all..." as Viking smirks and we go to commercial...)-)-)
King of the Ring Tournament
(The VWF goes to commercial...)
(The VWF returns from commercial...)
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The first drum beat heard from the loudspeakers signal the cutting of the lights, save for the ones on the stage. When the music reaches its first crescendo, Kamikaze runs out of the backstage area and onto the entrance, where raise his right arm and point at all the fans. As the beat turns to the electric guitar, Kamikaze runs to the ring at full speed. Jumping first onto the ring apron and then flipping over the top rope, he'll jump onto the nearest turnbuckle and once again raise his arm out, point to the arena and circle to the fans, jumping around a few times before finally calming down and focusing his attention to the matter at hand. A few moments later and purple and green lights begin to flash as the opening chords of Jimmi Hendrix’s “Purple Haze” begins to play throughout the arena. As the music continues to play the soulful voice of Jimmi Hendrix is heard saying “Purple Haze”, initiating green and purple pyro popping from the left and right as Leon “Purple” Hayze emerges from backstage spinning slowly with his hands outstretched for a moment, before lazily making his way to the ring, stumbling a bit as if intoxicated and finally entering the ring. The referee calls for the bell as Kamikaze and Hayze begin to circle each other near the center of the ring. Kamikaze throws a fierce right kick, catching Hayze in the ribs, drawing an appalled look from Hayze. He looks up at Kamikaze and charges towards him only to have Kamikaze leapfrog over him, allowing Hayze to hit the ropes. Kamikaze quickly turns and connects with a second sharp kick to the midsection, sending Hayze to the floor. Kamikaze quickly follows up with a lightning quick elbow drop to the sternum of Hayze, knocking the wind from his lungs. Kamikaze pulls Hayze to his feet and delivers a pair of numbing chops to the chest of Hayze, backing him into a corner. Kamikaze then hits a pair of kicks to the ribs and follows up with a knife edge chop before whipping Hayze across the ring. Hayze alertly climbs up the turnbuckles and launches himself into a spinning moonsault, sending Kamikaze to the mat. Kamikaze quickly gets to his feet as Hayze goes airborne and connects with a standing dropkick, sending Kamikaze tumbling to the outside of the ring. Hayze grabs the top rope and looks down at Kamikaze as he gets to his feet. He slingshots himself over the top rope, and lands on the apron causing Kamikaze to move slightly out of the way. Kamikaze then moves forward and grabs Hayze by the feet and pulls them out from underneath him, sending him crashing into the ring apron face first. Kamikaze then follows that up with a pair of rights and a left before being cut off by Hayze, who blocks a fourth punch and connects with a right of his own before hitting a swift kick to the midsection, doubling Kamikaze over. Hayze then rolls Kamikaze back into the ring and positions Kamikaze where he wants before climbing up onto the apron. He then slingshots himself over the top rope and connects with a picture perfect elbow drop before getting to his feet and pulling Kamikaze away from the ropes and covers him.
1…
2…
KICKOUT!
JOEY STYLES: Leon is definitely showing good ring intelligence.
P. LICKIN: Yeah, he loves rolling around a mat...
JOEY STYLES: ....
P. LICKIN: What?
JOEY STYLES: You aren't going to say "Like Mrs. Styles?"
P. LICKIN: Joey... I would never say something so horrendous about your sweet, dear mother.
JOEY SYTLES: Oh... well... I'm sorry then.
P. LICKIN: Yeah, that's what your mom says when I spank her. She's very, very sorry.
JOEY STYLES: .... I hate you.
Both men then get to their feet and glare at each other before locking up in a traditional collar and elbow tie up with Kamikaze gaining the advantage and slipping Hayze into a side headlock. Hayze, though, quickly backs Kamikaze into the ropes and shoots him off across the ring. Hayze quickly drops to the mat and Kamikaze skips over him and hits the opposite ropes. Hayze this time goes airborne with a leap frog as Kamikaze again hits the ropes. This time Hayze attempts a hip toss only to see Kamikaze land on his feet. He attempts a high kick, but Hayze ducks underneath and counters with a stunning enziguri sending Kamikaze to the mat. Hayze turns to the crowd and points to the side of his head for a moment before turning his attention back to Kamikaze. Hayze pulls Kamikaze to his feet and backs him into a corner with a pair of chops. He then lifts Kamikaze up and seats him on the top turnbuckle. Hayze then climbs to the second turnbuckle and tries to apply a front facelock, but is stopped by a sharp right hand to the midsection, knocking him back to the mat on his feet. He moves towards Kamikaze only to be greeted by a swift kick to the face, staggering Hayze. Kamikaze gets to his feet on the top rope and leaps forward and hits a picture perfect hurricanrana, slinging Hayze across the ring. Kamikaze stays on the offensive as Hayze gets to his feet and hits a thunderous spinning heel kick, sending Hayze to the mat. He quickly gets to his feet as he continues to build momentum as Hayze gets halfway up, Kamikaze delivers a swift kick to the midsection and lifts Hayze up for his signature Kamikaze Driver and plants him squarely in the center of the ring. Without hesitation, he climbs to the top turnbuckle and delivers the breathtaking Shooting Star Elbow Drop he calls Divinity before hooking Hayze’s leg. ".1 ..2 ...3!!!"
P. LICKIN: I haven't been this disappointed since I saw Twilight.
The referee calls for the bell and raises Kamikaze’s hand signaling him as the winner. After a few moments, the referee releases Kamikaze’s hand. Hayze, meanwhile is slowly getting to his feet and holding his midsection. Kamikaze looks on at him as Hayze reaches his feet. Kamikaze then slowly extends his right hand, drawing a concerning look from Hayze as the fans in the VWF arena cheer loudly. Hayze then suddenly spits in Kamikaze’s hand before exiting the ring, leaving Kamikaze and the crowd in attendance in disbelief.
)-)-)
King of the Ring Tournament
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(The crowd buzzes with anticipation as they wait for the next challenger to the coveted Intercontinental title to be decided. Would it be a mouthwatering clash between the highly-rated fan favourite Jose Ramon and his hated rival Dan Ryan, or could one of the newcomers in Donny Blacklist and Zack Connors pull off the upset and go on to face the Ego Buster? Would Ryan even be the champion at the end of the night? All these questions hang in the air as "I Like Dirt" hits and Donny Blacklist arrives at the top of the entrance ramp, receiving a somewhat mixed but largely positive and extremely vocal reaction from the crowd. Blacklist arrives alone and on foot, but his uncharacteristic seriousness seems to have evaporated as he struts down to the ring, stopping to share hugs and hi-fives with members of the crowd, especially those fans who seem to consist mostly of tattoos, piercings and makeup, the outsiders who have adopted the unconventional superstar as their own. He is wearing a T-shirt with a stylized image of singer Jeff Buckley and comedian Bill Hicks emblazoned on the front and back, along with the slogans "Desire Not Consolation" and "No Hesitation, No Regret", which he tosses into the crowd, causing a minor melee, then slides into the ring and asks for a mic, which is quickly provided.)
DONNY BLACKLIST: So... the One Year Plan didn't get off to the best of starts, huh? Well, at least I got to have some fun in the process! Would anybody like to see what I'm talking about?
(This gets a minor pop from the crowd as Blacklist points to the Vikingtron, which displays footage from the last Crucifiction of him offering his hand to Zack Connors, moments after Connors pinned him at the end of their match, only to wipe Connors out with a brutal No More Bets DDT. Blacklist rolls the footage a couple more times and each time the crowd pops as they see Connors' head slamming off the mat.)
DONNY BLACKLIST: Yeah, I enjoy watching that almost as much as you do, but the fact remains that at the last Crucifiction, I got careless, I got caught out and I got beaten and with just twelve months to burn out bright and disappear, I can't let that happen. So I guess what I learned is that just because I'm on this mission I'm on, that don't give me a right me to have things go my way. Which is a lesson I think a few others around here could stand to learn, because the way I see it, there's a lot of guys in the VWF walking around with a sense of entitlement and I gotta tell ya, I'm gonna enjoy beating that out of them. Just for example Zack Connors feels entitled to a life of luxury because he's conned his way to success for so long, he's managed to con himself into believing he's somehow earned it. Jose Ramon thinks he's entitled to a slice of the big time because, let's face it, the guy's as popular as a chick with tequila-dispensing nipples and Dan Ryan, well... Dan Ryan thinks he's entitled to rule the world because some assholes are just born with a little bit of talent and no sense of perspective.
As for me, I stopped feeling like the world owed me anything soon after Dad left the family fortune to his favorite whore, so I'm here today to...
(“Just Close Your Eyes” by Waterproof Blonde begins to play to boos from the crowd. Blacklist waits for Zack to appear. A minute goes by and there is still no sign of Zack. Zack then appears on the Vikingtron. He is wearing a neck brace. Zack winces and rubs his hand on the neck brace.)
ZACK CONNORS: Donny, as much as I want to come down to that ring and beat your old, broken down ass around the ring for what you did to me last week, it won’t be able to happen. Unfortunately, while I was in training, a freak accident occurred where I severely injured my neck.
(Zack appears to wipe a single tear from his cheek. The fans don’t seem to be buying this supposed “injury.”)
ZACK CONNORS: I could have been the greatest wrestler the VWF had ever seen but that dream was cruelly brought to a premature end. This would have been the night that I won the chance to compete for the Intercontinental championship and of course I was the odds on favourite to become King of the Ring. Now the VWF fans will be forced to watch mediocre talent like Donny Blacklist and Jose Ramon. Without me, all this match will achieve is boring Seventeen and a half thousand people to sleep...
(As Blacklist watches the video on the big screen, a figure slides stealthily into the ring behind him... ITS ZACK CONNORS! The crowd boo and Blacklist senses that something is up, but as he turns around Zack Connors floors him with a thunderous clothesline! Blacklist staggers to his feet but Connors hits him with a forearm then whips him into the turnbuckle and starts to furiously punch and stamp on his rival.)
JOEY STYLES: OH MY GOD! The tape on the Vikingtron was a trick and now Zack Connors is taking revenge on Donny Blacklist for his sneak attack at the last Crucifiction!
P.LICKEN: I've got some tapes I sometimes use to distract people...
JOEY STYLES: OH MY GOD! Just stop fight there, please!
(As Connors continues to beat down on Blacklist, "Hate To Say I Told You So" hits and Jose Ramon makes his way to the ring, getting a huge pop from the crowd as he does so. With all three competitors in the ring, the referee calls for the bell and the match is officially underway. Jose Ramon stalks Connors, who turns around just in time for Ramon to hit Take Five... NO, Connors manages to duck under Ramon's boot and roll out of the ring to regroup. Ramon quickly drags Blacklist into the middle of the ring and hooks the leg, 1...2... Connors gets back into the ring just in time to break up the three count.)
JOEY STYLES: Connors and Blacklist are so focused on taking each other out, they nearly handed the match to Jose Ramon!
(All three men get to their feet and the fight continues with Ramon using his quickness and experience to dominate the early stages of the match, hanging back as his opponents lay in to each other and picking his shots. His chance comes when Blacklist knocks Connors out of the ring with a clothesline and Ramon springs up onto the top turnbuckle and flies off, nailing Donny Blacklist with a missile dropkick. Blacklist struggles to his feet but Ramon quickly takes him down with a drop toe hold and locks in an STF, but its a little too far from the middle and Blacklist manages to get a hand on the bottom rope, however the ref is distracted by Zack Connors, who has got up on the ring apron and I complaining about the turnbuckle pad being loose. As Connors distracts the ref, Ramon manages to break Blacklist's grip on the rope and keep the hold locked in in the middle of the ring! Blacklist can't take it any more and taps out, but the ref can't see it what's happening!)
JOEY STYLES: What an underhanded move by Connors, allowing Blacklist to suffer in that submission hold whilst preventing Jose Ramon from picking up the win!
(Ramon sees what's happening and releases the hold to go and remonstrate with Connors, but Connors sticks his thumb in Ramon's eye and follows up with a bulldog as he staggers away. Connors quickly whips Ramon into the turnbuckle and sets him up for a top-rope SUPERPLEX! Ramon battles back and hits Connors with a right hand but Connors keeps his footing and hits him back, then nails the superplex in the middle of the ring! Connors gets back to his feet and immediately goes back to the top rope, getting booed by the crowd as he crosses his hands to say “It's over!” Connors goes for FLYING HIGH... DONNY BLACKLIST THROWS HIMSELF ON THE TOP ROPE! Zack Connors is sent crashing painfully to the mat and Blacklist goes after him, trying to shake off the pain from the beating he has taken throughout the match and lift Connors up to hit the 29 BLACK! Both men are down, but Jose Ramon is up, and climbs to the top turnbuckle. Ramon comes off, hitting the Posterized on Donny Blacklist! Ramon covers. The ref counts ".1 ..2 ...3!!!" Ramon rolls out of the ring, celebrating as both Connors and Blacklist start to recover. Connors realizes what happened, and grabs Blacklist, who is still in pain from Ramon's finisher. Connors starts screaming "You screwed me out of my shot!" over and over, punching him as VWF Officials come out, dragging him off of Blacklist as the VWF goes to commercials. )-)-)
#1 Contender for the Intercontinental Championship
(The VWF goes to commercial...)
(The VWF returns from commercial...)
**--We open up inside a gym where we see a bunch of people, not a whole lot, but a few people working out on various machines. Guys on bicep machines, girls on leg curling machines, almost all of the running machines are being used up by everybody of every age of every race seemingly. The camera pans around until finally it lands on the bench press and we see a very beautiful blonde, who happens to be none other than Alexia Frost, finishing up three reps of 115 pounds without any help but seems to be a little frustrated. She breaks down the bar, leaving it bare until she bends over and…Oh…My…God, if you could only see this view. Um…anyway, she picks up a 45 pound plate and places it on the bar, then slides on the safety ring, walks around to the other side and picks up the other 45 pound plate, places it on the bar and slides the safety ring after it. Lexi looks at the bar and does some final stretches before trying to make an attempt at this feat. She sits down on the bench, then leans back until she’s finally in a lying position. She puts her hands up on the bar and begins to get herself psyched up to achieve her goal, but is interrupted when Jonny Cedrone comes into the scene and taps her on her leg. She blindly kicks, almost landing a foot in Jonny’s groin but Cedrone was swift enough to move out of the way. Lexi aborts her previous mission only to slowly sit up, rests her elbows on her knees and with a raised eyebrow asks--**
Alexia: “Can I help you?”
**--With a grin on his face, Cedrone replies--**
Cedrone: “Just wonderin’ if you might want some help.”
**--She smirks--**
Alexia: “That all depends on the sort of help you’re offering.”
Cedrone: “Well right now, I’m offerin’ to be your spotter, but if you want, we can talk about what I had in mind for later.”
Alexia: “Hm. Business in the work place, pleasure everywhere else Jonny.”
Cedrone: “So is that a yes or a no?”
**--Alexia rolls her eyes slightly but smirks--**
Alexia: “Sure, with as frustrated as I already am, I’m likely to do something stupid, not paying attention and whatnot. Just don’t try something stupid while you’re there. I bite…hard.”
**--Cedrone smiles and chuckles a little--**
Cedrone: “Hm. I might have to think about that. I kinda like it rough.”
**--Alexia scoffs and Cedrone chuckles a little more as he assumes the spotter position. Alexia once again leans back and ends up in the lying position, grabs the bar before asking…--**
Alexia: “So what brought on this show of niceness?”
Cedrone: “Ha, well I think I’ve seen this in Hustler once or twice so I thought that maybe…”
**--Alexia shoots Cedrone the death stare but Cedrone laughs it off.--**
Cedrone: “I’m just messin’ with ya. I saw how frustrated you were in your last lift, then I saw that you added more weight and I didn’t want you to overdo it or hurt yourself in any way.”
Alexia: “Well thank you, but I never overdo it. I know my limits and frankly…a meaningless match like the one I have against Vance isn’t worth trying to push them.”
**--Alexia started to push on the 135 lbs she had on the bar. She raises it up once, then brings it down to her curvaceous chest then pushes it back up, brings it down and slowly brings it back up, brings it down and even more slowly she brings it back up but plateaus about half way. Cedrone goes to put his hands under the bar to help Lexi but she yells at him--**
Alexia: “Don’t you touch it!”
**--So Cedrone takes his hands back like a scolded kid and with one final burst of adrenaline Lexi slowly but surely finishes the rep by placing the bar back on the rack and sits up.--**
Cedrone: “Well nobody’s worth pushin’ your limits too far for.”
Alexia: “As true as that may be, self improvement is always worth it, is it not?”
Cedrone: “Always honey. Always. But I did wanna come over here and tell ya somethin’ that I didn’t get the chance to tell ya at Bloodlust.”
**--Alexia stands up and stretches, rolling her shoulders before looking at him and speaking again--**
Alexia: “And what would that be?”
Cedrone: “We were just talkin’ about limits a moment ago and it reminded me of how you took me to my limits at Bloodlust. I just wanted to tell you that it was a great match that night and I would be happy if we could ever meet in the ring again…I mean with our two bodies rubbin’ all over each other like that again, could you want anything more in life?”
Alexia: “I could name a few things, yeah. But I’m glad you realize that I can push you
to your limits, that’s a specialty of mine. And you know that I’m not going to let you
walk away with that win. I still deserve a legit one on one match for that pretty gold
title of yours. Scott is a dead man for getting involved in my Title shot. I’m going to
make his life fucking hell! And I’ll take you on in that ring again for your Title, so
you’ll get your wish about getting sweaty with me again.”
Cedrone: “Good, I can’t wait. And rest assured, I will probably have some sleepless nights thinkin’ about that opportunity and it’s not in the way you may be thinkin’.”
Alexia: “How do you know what I’m thinking Jonny-boy?”
Cedrone: “You said you were gonna make Scott’s life a livin’ Hell?”
Alexia: “Yes I am. He incorporated himself into a match he had no right to be in. I won’t begrudge you of your revenge on him, for sure. But he still stuck his nose in a match that it didn’t belong in…MY Title match!”
Cedrone: “Hey. Do what ya gotta do sweetheart. I was just gonna say that you kinda had a head start on your promise, the last Crucifiction didn’t you?”
Alexia: “Oh no Jonny. I swore that I was going to make the Masked Man’s life Hell starting at Bloodlust. I think I did that. Last week? Heh…Last week I just made my point. This isn’t over until I say it is. Scott’s made a very dangerous enemy and he will suffer for it.”
“But what about you? I mean, you unmasked him, you had that glory. Wasn’t last week just rubbing salt in the wounds?”
Cedrone: “Oh no, no, no, neither you nor Scott DiBiase has seen anything yet. ‘Just rubbin’ salt in the wounds?’ Please sweetheart. I’m the one who cut the bastard open and poured alcohol into the opened wounds. What exactly did you do?”
**--Alexia grinned evilly at him, her Cheshire grin showing her pearly white teeth. Teeth that, with the look on her face, should have been in sharp points.--**
Cedrone: “Uh oh.”
Alexia: “Honey, I’m the one that ended his year long Tag Title reign. You? You ended a Title reign of a month. You did nothing compared to what I did and you know it”
Cedrone: “Yeah, but you know just as well as I do that the Eurocontinental Title meant much more to him than those Tag Titles did. So you did him a favor more than anything.”
Alexia: “No, it’s more along the lines of whichever he’s defending against Lee at the time. He hates Lee and you know it. So whichever he’s defending is ‘the most important.’”
Cedrone: You’re right, and last week at Crucifiction, it was the Eurocontinental Championship he was defendin’ when I had to come down so I delivered the most damage.”
Alexia: “Yeah, but when Scotty went home, which Championship do you think he lamented over more? Like I said…he held the Tag Titles for a year. They were his babies. He may have been pissed to lose the Eurocontinental Title to Lee, but at the end of that day, it’s the Tag Belts he misses the most, I guarantee it.”
Cedrone: “Ha, ha. Do you honestly think that Scott gives a damn about Jason and those
Tag Team Titles? They were nothin’ but a false trophy he put in there to keep this feud
with Lee goin’ whether it’s singles competition or not.”
“In fact, I think you can say that Scott has a bit of an infatuation with Lee.”
Alexia: “Only at first honey, but Scott dealt with a great many people after that. No he didn’t care about Jason, but once he realized he had the chance for something greater as a Tag Team Champion, he was hooked.”
Cedrone: “Has anyone ever told you how hot you are when you get frustrated?”
**--She gives him a winning smile.--**
Alexia: “Why yes, I’ve heard it before, but the fact you just changed the subject means you concede and I win.”
**--She leans forward getting real close, nose to nose and whispers to him seductively.--**
Alexia: “See you in the ring.”
**--With that, she smoothly spins on her heel and walks out of the gym, leaving Cedrone to watch her leave, his head smoothly but unsubtly moves from looking at her head down to watching her tight ass as she walks away, nodding approvingly.--**
(The VWF goes to commercial...)
(The VWF returns from commercial...)
(-(-(
The introduction music to "You Spin Me Around" by Dope hits the arena as Alexia’s blue, purple, and silver spot lights run over random parts of the crowd. They start going insane. Alexia’s blue, silver, and purple colored pyrotechnics shot off at the top of the ramp, leaving the usual colored smoke behind. It was from that smoke that Alexia and Cerb suddenly appeared.
As soon as the smoke cleared, Alexia and Cerb were hit by three spot lights. One of each color. The rest continued to rush over the dark arena. Once the lights hit her, the crowd went ballistic with their usual mixed reaction, jeering Alexia to an insane degree.
They reached the ring and Alexia stopped at it, turned and hopped up backwards, to perch on the edge of it, crossing one leg over the other. She patted the space next to her and Cerb jumped up. Then she spun and slid under the bottom rope and into the ring, Cerb crawling under it right next to her. From there she climbed each turnbuckle, displayed her usual “rock on” sign with both hands. When she finished with the fourth corner, she back flipped off, landing in the center of the ring, the music cutting out suddenly at the exact same time as her landing. She handed Cerb out of the ring. Alexia paced her side of the ring, just waiting for the bell to ring.
P.Lickin: Whoo, I won't be able to contain myself tonight!
The lights in the arena suddenly go dark as a soft red glow comes over the stage. Suddenly, a loud, blaring siren can be heard coming through the PA system before a huge pyro explosion goes off in the form of a mushroom cloud as the opening chords of "Shame" by Drowning Pool blasts through the speakers. After a few moments a second pyro blast goes off in the shape of a "V" and ushers Typhoon Vance into the arena. He is seen wearing a black hoodie with a red spade adorning the chest and the hood over his head. He takes a few steps down the ramp and pumps his fist down, setting off one last pyro pop and flipping the hood back over his back. He methodically walks to the ring (eyes on his opponent if out second; jawing with fans at ringside if out first). He rolls underneath the bottom rope and gets to his feet before removing the hoodie at angrily throwing it at the referee. He then goes through a few stretches awaiting the beginning of the match.
Joey Styles: Man on woman action? And no police around? You won't find this action anywhere else but in the VWF!
The blond she-devil of the VWF eyed her opponent as if he were her prey while the whirlwind monster of a wrestler in Typhoon Vance glared at the bimbo as if she were the heading to the slaughterhouse. The pair locked up in the center of the ring, each unwilling to give the advantage to the other. After seveal minutes of back and forth action which leave both competitors quite exhausted, Typhoon manages to grab hold of Alexia and bring her in for a suplex. Quickly though, after a push off and kick to the stomach by Alexia, she was able to take the lead instead. Knowing that she wouldn't be able to outfight the musclehead, she began to target the knees of the stocky wrester. Kick after kick left Typhoon's legs becoming more and more cramped, though one kick was apparently too many for Alexia as she was caught by a huge clothesline from Typhoon which nearly twirled her in the air before she landed on the mat.
P. Lickin: Boobs!
Joey Styles: Oh come on, P.
P. Lickin: Knockers!
Joey Styles: Damn it, P.
P. Lickin: Funbags!
Joey Styles: If you say that one more time...
P. Lickin: TITTIES!
Joey Styles: Oh for the love of GOD!
P. Lickin: *Gasp* Joey, have you no shame? You don't take the Lord's name in vain!
Joey Styles: Well, I apologize, P. But you just..
P. Lickin: BREASTS!
Joey Styles: ...
As Alexia lay unmoving on the mat, Typhoon kicked his legs out in an attempt to bring back some life back into his appendages. Muttering to himself, wondering how he was taken off guard by the vixen, Typhoon grabbed hold of Alexia by her hair and proceeded to throw her into the turnbuckle. As she stood in the corner, her arms drapped around the side of the ropes, Typhoon took position at the opposite end of the ring. Getting set in a three point stance, Typhoon eyed up his opponent and took the plunge, running full steam looking to impale Alexia. Showing why she is one of the dominant wrestlers of the VWF, however, she manages to lift up her body via her drapped arms. Typhoon, unable to stop, runs chest first into the turnbuckle and Alexia immediately grabs hold of the head of her opponent and twists her body, sending it right into the mat in a bulldog counter. Going for the pin, we hear the referee's hand begin to hit the mat. 1...2... kickout. Alexia stands up, and points at the corner. The crowd cheers a bit as she climbs up top. Vance rolls over and stands up as she is climbing, seeing what she's doing. Alexia turns around and jumps off quickly, trying to take Vance down before he can attack, but Vance side steps it and grabs Alexia by the throat and hits the Black Rain! Typhoon Vance covers. The ref counts
".1 ..2 ...3!!!" )-)-)
(The VWF goes to commercial...)
(The VWF returns from commercial...)
(-(-(
The words “Ego Buster” flash across the Viking Tron while the familiar sounds of Zero by the Smashing Pumpkins fill the arena. Emerging from the back was the familiar Dan Ryan, the VWF Intercontinental Champion. Flashing a glare behind his sunglasses towards the crowd, Ryan raises his nose at the buffoons in front of him and casually walks down the ramp, unaffected by the pyro going off along side of him. Rolling under the bottom rope, the Ego Buster climbs a corner turnbuckle, looking out into the arena crowd and shaking his head in utter disdain.
Joey Styles: And here he is, the VWF's Intercontinental Champion, who is currently running on a very hot streak one might say!
P. Lickin: Streaks, eh? You know all about streaks, don't you Styles? Yeah, I bet you're all too familiar with those shit streaks in your underwear!
Joey Styles: You can't say that word on the air!
P. Lickin: So what? The nerds in the back will just bleep me post-production.
Joey Styles: We're live!
The lights in the arena dies down followed by pulsation of white lights that starts to go on and off throughout the whole arena as the crowd goes wild. The pulsating of the white lights continues as "Honor" by Atreyu starts to play. Suddenly we see the stage being engulf with smoke. Amidst the smoke, we see a figure as the song continues to rip through the ear drums of the crowd. After several seconds while the smoke starts to clear, the figure materializes and is revealed to be Tyler Graves. As the white lights pulsation continues, he then strolls down to the ramp. He stops at the bottom of the ramp and looks around the whole arena. He then continues walking making his way to the steel steps. He then ascends the steel steps and upon reaching the ring apron, he then proceeds to jump in to the ring. He runs towards the opposite side of the ring and stands at the bottom rope ala Edge as he raises his right arms up. He then goes to his corner and do some warm ups as the lights in the arena returns to normal and his music fades.
Joey Styles: And here is the former CWC Heavyweight Champion, Tyler Graves, and one has to wonder what has to be going through his mind here?
P. Lickin: He seems to be making a habit out of getting his ass kicked in recent weeks. Wasn't his last win, ya know, for that title you just mentioned?
Joey Styles: Tyler Graves is a first-rate competitor, P. He'll be looking to turn things around right here tonight against his opponent.
P. Lickin: That's what they all say.
The bell rings and the match for the Intercontinental title is underway. Ryan and Graves size each other up from opposite corners of the ring before coming to the center to lock up. Ryan gains the advantage from the first lock up and proceeds to place Graves in a side headlock. After a few wrenching turns of the neck, Graves is able to push Ryan off and into one of the turnbuckles, where after bouncing off of the post, Ryan backward walks right into a reverse suplex.
Joey Styles: Graves taking out his frustrations on the Intercontinental Champion!
P. Lickin: A bottle of lotion and a box of tissues will take care of the job a whole lot sooner!
Graves takes advantage of the situation and proceeds to place Ryan into a gruesome armbar that looks like it will nearly break Ryan's arm in two. Wisely, however, Ryan manages to work through the pain and grab onto the nearby bottom rope. Graves however refuses to let go of the maneuver! While Ryan begins to actually yell in pain now, the referre begins the disqualification count against Graves. One! Two! Three! Four! Fi... Finally, the challenger breaks the hold and a collective sigh of relief is heard throughout the arena as the fans of the former CWC Champion are thankful that Tyler didn't let his anger get the better of him there.
Joey Styles: A near disqualification by Graves and Ryan looks hurt there P.
P. Lickin: … I got nothing.
Joey Styles: What... seriously?
P. Lickin: Nah, I'm kidding! I got your mom last night, this morning, hell she's in the back right now waiting for this show to be over so I can show her Heaven with my Number Seven!
Joey Styles: … I hate you.
While Tyler begins to argue with the referee about the use of his hold, Ryan manages to recover enough energy to get back to his feet, shaking off the injured arm while eying his opponent. Tyler, realizing that Dan had gotten back up, swiftly turns around only to find himself catching in full force a super kick right to the chin by the Intercontinental Champion! As Tyler crumples to the canvas, Dan Ryan eyes the crowd, who realize what the champ is after. Grabbing hold of Tyler with his uninjured arm, he places his opponent's head between his knees and signals for the Humility Bomb. Wrapping his arms around the man's waist, Ryan manages to lift Graves up, but the injury inflicted on the champ's arm is too much and Graves manages to escape out of the hold.
With a quick slide, Graves turns Ryan around and wraps his arms around Ryan's head, looking for the Sudden Impact. Giving a quick shout for good measure, Tyler drops his body, but Ryan manages to push off, leaving Graves helpless on the ground as he takes the impact alone. Immediately, Ryan launches himself at Graves on the canvas, wrapping his arms and legs around his own to create a modified STF! They are in the center of the ring with no hope of Graves reaching the ropes like Ryan had earlier in the match. As Ryan increases the pressure and tears of pain begin to well up in the challengers eyes, he still refuses to submit to the manuever. This ordeal lasts for a minute, then a minute and a half. After that long a period of time, it seems that Graves no longer has the strength to remain conscious! After a three count check by the referee, he signals for the match to be over, signaling for Dan Ryan to be declared victor!
JOEY STYLES: Dan Ryan continues his undefeated streak, getting a big win over Tyler Graves.
P. LICKIN: What's Jose Ramon doing out here?
Dan Ryan holds the belt over his head in victory, then notices Jose Ramon standing at the top of the ramp, slowly clapping his hands and nodding. Ryan smirks and ignores Ramon as he celebrates.
)-)-)
Intercontinental Championship
**The scene opens up in some strange place, foreign to VWF wrestlers and fans alike. It seems as if it is a ball of some sorts. Dignitaries of all different shapes, sizes and colors are seen sitting at round tables placed inside this great hall of sorts. There is a buzz in the air as the people are sitting, socializing with people of equal importance. A chime of a piece of silverware hitting a glass is heard and all the chattering comes to an end. From behind the curtain, a man of short stature appears with a note card in his hand. He places the card on the podium on the far end of the stage, reaches into his suit jacket, and pulls out a pair of reading glasses. He taps the microphone and clears his throat as he begins to read from the note card.**
SHORT MAN: Ladies and gentlemen, please allow me to be one of the first people to welcome you to tonight’s special event. It is no secret why we are gathered here tonight. The grand palace, the luminaries gathered here in the Grand Hall, it only makes logical sense. I have prepared an extravagant speech for tonight’s ceremony, but I have obviously decided NOT to go that route. Instead, I am going to cut to the chase of things. Ladies and gentlemen, the REAL star of tonight’s Victory Ball, the King himself… King Awesome, TD Alexander!
**The people attending the ball stand up and give a loud round of applause as the curtain opens up, revealing the King of Awesomeness sitting on his throne with the Britannia Championship draped over his shoulder and his golden crown glistening in the spot light. As the standing ovation continues, TD slowly stands up from his throne and makes his way over to the podium. A big smile appears on his face as he grabs a hold to the top of the podium and softly says thank you to the crowd. After a moment of saying ‘thank you’ and motioning for the crowd to stop and sit, he gets fed up and yells into the mic.**
ALEXANDER: I command you to sit!
**Whosh! The applauding suddenly stops and the crowd immediately sits, not wanting to agitate the King any further.**
ALEXANDER: Thank you.
As Nigel mentioned just a few short moments ago, you all have been invited here for a very good reason. For you see, I have just recently brought the Britannia Championship home to the Land of Awesomeness… the Reign of Awesomeness has officially begun.
**The crowd gives a loud round of applause, but is short lived as the King of Awesomeness continues to speak.**
ALEXANDER: It may have taken me quite a few years, I may have blown a few golden opportunities here and there, but the fact of the matter is that I am now standing here with wrestling gold in my possession; something that has left this great land barren, but not any longer. Just this morning while strolling through the majestic valley, I saw grass that hasn’t grown in ages begin to grow. With my own two eyes, I have seen trees bear the fruit that hasn’t been seen in the desolate ambiance in all of history… all because the Reign of Awesomeness has taken place. Believe you and me people, before long; the Land of Awesomeness will thrive to become the great power that it has once been before!
**The crowd applauds one more time, but this time, TD allows them to soak up the moment.**
ALEXANDER: Ladies and gentlemen, may the Grand Victory Ball commence!
**All at once, the tables empty up and the open floor fills up and the orchestra begins to play. TD stands at the podium for a moment, gazing at the people dancing as if it is going out of style. He turns around and makes his way behind the curtain where he is met with his lead servant.**
NIGEL: Master, may I ask you a question?
ALEXANDER: Yes my servant.
NIGEL: Exactly what was all of that about?
ALEXANDER: Simple Nigel, I gave those people hope. Just a few short days ago, they were plowing infertile land and now… the land is fertile again!
NIGEL: No it isn’t sire.
ALEXANDER: I know, I just couldn’t bear to tell them that tomorrow, their houses are going to be demolished to place a pure golden monument to honor me.
NIGEL: Don’t you think that someone ought to tell them? I mean, they have the right to know.
ALEXANDER: They’ll find out when they wake up to see a bulldozer at their front door.
NIGEL: You are a cruel one master, you know that?
ALEXANDER: I’m not cruel, I’m awesome. Now if you would excuse me… Mr. Bacon! Over here my good sir!
NIGEL: I thought I was your good sir?
ALEXANDER: Get out of here, will ya?!
BACON: Thanks for inviting me TD.
ALEXANDER: No problem Bacon. To be quite honest with you, I didn’t honestly think that your mother would allow you to go out of the house on a school day.
BACON: She didn’t. I had to have the Viking King to tell her that He has sent me on official business.
ALEXANDER: So you are here to interview me I would guess?
BACON: Yes sir I am!
ALEXANDER: Dammit. How many times do I have to tell these people that the Land of Awesomeness shall not be filmed and documented?!
BACON: Luckily for you, we’re in the official VWF warehouse.
ALEXANDER: Ahhh, that’s right. I brought my kingdom to Chicago to celebrate the biggest victory of my career!
BACON: About that…
ALEXANDER: Bacon, no matter what you or anyone else says, my title victory was legit! I mean, that match is documented into the VWF History Books!
BACON: And your loss to Leon Hayze isn’t?
ALEXANDER: Naturally, I burnt that page. There is no need to tarnish the reputation of the King of Awesomeness now is there Kyle?
BACON: You’re a naïve one, aren’t you?
ALEXANDER: If naïve is a synonym to “awesome,” then you are absolutely correct sir!
**Bacon shakes his head.**
BACON: TD, I’m going to try and make this quick. I don’t want to hold you up on your victory celebration.
ALEXANDER: You mean that your momma wants you home by 10.
BACON: Actually, I told her I’ll be home by 8 think you very much.
ALEXANDER: You have ten minutes Bacon!
BACON: That’s plenty of time!
ALEXANDER: You can’t rush awesomeness.
BACON: TD, this interview is going to be on the next edition of Crucifiction, I can guarantee you that it’s going to be edited anyway, so let’s get going on this interview, shall we?
ALEXANDER: *sighs* Go ahead.
BACON: King TD, a question on everybody’s mind is… well, I don’t know how to put it. I don’t know if it’s a who, what, where, or even when question! But anyway, I’m going to try my best. TD, what is the relation between you and Mark Ellingsworth?
ALEXANDER: Didn’t I make that clear Kyle? Didn’t I answer all questions after I won the Britannia Championship? “Marvelous” Mark Ellingsworth was some make believe, bull shit gimmick that Talent Relations wanted me to do. They wanted to embarrass me like I somehow “embarrassed” them. Blasphemy! The King did no such thing!
BACON: Well TD, how did you “embarrass” the VWF?
ALEXANDER: Think back to last year’s Birthday Bash when I won the Kingmaker Match and suddenly disappeared.
BACON: Oh yeah, I remember that. Why did you leave so suddenly? You had the wrestling world on your shoulders and you ran away!
ALEXANDER: I had important matters to attend to in the Land of Awesomeness .
BACON: King, what on earth could be more important than being the biggest draw in the wrestling business?!
ALEXANDER: Tax return.
BACON: *face palm* Are you kidding me?!
ALEXANDER: No I’m not kidding you! I’m King, it is my royal duty to collect my fair share from my villagers.
BACON: From your what?!
ALEXANDER: Villagers Kyle, villagers. You know the people who live in my kingdom? They are called villagers.
BACON: Let’s get back to the topic. There has to be more between the whole Ellingsworth is TD thing.
ALEXANDER: Not really. Talent Relations wanted to push something down my throat that I didn’t want to do. I’m not “marvelous,” that sounds gay. I’m awesome… KING Awesome! Kyle, what it all boils down to is that Talent Relations thought. They thought that they could do whatever the hell they felt like doing, but guess what? It backfired on them. They pushed and pushed and pushed until I finally blew up, and it couldn’t have come at a better time for me and my people. For my championship win has revived not only my career, but the lives of the hundreds of people who live under my rule.
BACON: TD, I would ask you to elaborate on that, but as you know, I told mama I’ll be home at 8. So this is it, at the King of the Ring, you are booked to go against JP McMagnus for the Britannia Championship. Do you have any thoughts?
ALEXANDER: Kyle, I have many thoughts. I think you’re pussy whipped and yet you have not an encounter with the opposite sex. I think Jhonny Cedrone is one of the worse World Champions in the history of this sport. And do you know what else I think? I think that JP McMagnus stands no chance against the King of Awesomeness. What he doesn’t know is that last November, I legitimately became a King in the eyes of the VWF when I beat the Masked Marvel and Jhonny Cedrone in a Kingmaker Match. So this whole King of the Ring tournament… it’s overrated, because no matter who comes out on top, I will STILL be the King around here!
BACON: What does the King of the Ring tournament have to do with your match?
ALEXANDER: I’m getting there Kyle, get off your mama’s tit. McMagnus, much like the winner of this year’s King of the Ring crown, you are absolutely nothing compared to me. I have the gold, I have the jewels, I have the crown, robe, servants, and by God, I have the palace and the land. What do you have? Nothing. For you, everyday is the same. You wake up, you train, you wrestle, and yet, nobody still cares. But me on the other hand, everybody cares. After last Crucifiction, I am in Scott DiBiase’s nightmares and I keep Cedrone up at night. Unlike you, I have that kind of presence; I have that kind of impact. JP, I don’t do this often, but for our match on October the 10th, I’m wishing you the best of luck. Believe you and me McMagnus, you are going to need it.
BACON: Thank you King TD. Joe-
**A loud crash can be heard in the background followed by the sound of splitting wood. TD stands there, ignoring what has just happened as Bacon nearly jumps out of his seat.**
BACON: Don’t you think you should tend to that?
ALEXANDER: Nah, your mom’s on the rag. I already earned my redwings.
**TD walks away whistling with Britannia Championship still over his shoulder leaving Bacon standing dead in his tracks. Bacon has a cold stare on his face before he starts to shake and dry heaving. The scene fades to black.**
(-(-(
Backstage, Alexia is seen standing outside The Viking King's office. She knocks, and he says "Come in." She goes inside as as the camera goes to enter, it slams in it's face, leaving the cameras outside. The camera returns to the ring as Cedrone grabs Jason's arm and shoots him into the ropes. On the return Jason ducks a clothesline attempt from Cedrone and hops onto the ropes, leaping off and nailing Cedrone with a springboard moonsault. Jason and Cedrone both get to they're feet around the same time but Jason is first to get a blow in and lands a fist to the skull of Cedrone. A couple more head punches and Jason shoots Cedrone into the corner. Jason follows up charging Cedrone but Cedrone rolls out of the corner holding his head and Jason hits the turnbuckle full force. He wasn't holding back with that one. As Jason stumbles backwards Cedrone hits a belly-to-back suplex on Jason. Cedrone gets to his feed and grabs Jason by the hair, he pulls Jason to his feet and executes a bodyslam. Cedrone doesn't waste anytime in pulling Jason back to his feet, but apparently no time was all Jason needed to compose himself enough to plant a vicious right to Cedrone's gut. Jason follows up with another one and breaks free of Cedrone. Jason heads for the ropes and hits a dropkick to Cedrone's knee, taking him down. Jason takes a moment to catch his breath, then pulls Cedrone up and puts him against the ropes. Jason chops Cedrone across the chest, once, twice, the third time he takes a step back, after a small run up, chops Cedrone so hard his feet come off of the mat. Jason springs himself from the opposite ropes and aims to clothesline Cedrone hard, but Cedrone drops to the canvas and pulls the top rope down, which in turns results in Jason flying head over tail over the ropes and crashing to the floor at ringside. Cedrone gets back to his feet in the ring, using the ropes to pull him up. He leans on the ropes for a second, then drops back down and slides out of the ring. Cedrone grabs Jason and pulls him to his feet, drags him over to the crowd barrier and rams his head into it. Cedrone goes for another, and another but on the third Jason blocks it, drives an elbow into Cedrone's gut and rams his head into the crowd barrier. Jason, being the sort that likes to have variety in life, drags Cedrone over to the ring apron and rams his head into that too. Then to the ring steps and rams his head into those as well. Apparently feeling that Cedrone has had enough of different types of surfaces to have your head driven into, he slides Cedrone back into the ring.
JOEY STYLES: Lee is really taking control of the match now.
P. LICKIN: I think your watching a different match to me Joey.
JOEY STYLES: I AM watching a different match to you, P.
P. LICKIN: What? Oh... sorry, I was watching Jello Wrestling between Leigh Riley and Annette Sullivan on my phone.
Jason drops a heavy elbow on Cedrone's skull, then goes for the cover. ...1 ...2. Cedrone kicks out quite authoritively(word?). Jason pulls Cedrone back to his feet and hits a monsterous forearm to Cedrone's back. Jason off the ropes he hits a spinning neckbreaker on Cedrone. Jason goes for another cover. ...1 ...2 Cedrone gets a shoulder up. Jason gets up and pulls Cedrone with him. He drags Cedrone over to the corner and climbs to the second turnbuckle, mounting Cedrone and driving hard rights into his skull. The crowd count as Jason nails fist after fist but the ref eventually breaks it off. Jason argues with the ref for breaking it up. Jason turns back to Cedrone and sticks the boot to his midsection. A few more stomps and Cedrone is down in the corner. Jason takes a few steps back takes a run up to knee Cedrone in the head. Cedrone looks dazed at this point. Jason pulls Cedrone up and shoots him into the ropes. Cedrone comes off the ropes and is flattened by a clothesline from Jason. Jason goes for another cover. ...1 ...2 Cedrone gets a shoulder up. Jason is frustrated by this point and argues with the ref some more for not counting fast enough. Jason turns his attentions back to Cedrone. He pulls Cedrone up to his feet and sets up for a piledriver but Cedrone counters with a back body drop. Jason bounces back to his feet but Cedrone takes him back down with a spear from nowhere! Both men are down.
JOEY STYLES: BOTH MEN ARE DOWN! BOTH MEN ARE DOWN!
P. LICKIN: Really? Sounds thrilling.
JOEY STYLES: Your not being very professional, P.
P. LICKIN: I'm not. I HIRE professionals.
JOEY STYLES: Pervert.
P. LICKIN: What? Your MOM is coming on the clock in about 30 minutes.
Backstage, Alexia is seen leaving The Viking King's office and takes off down the hallway. The camera looks in, and Viking is sitting behind his desk with a smile on his face. He looks over and shouts to "Close the door" as the camera goes back to the ring...
Both men begin to get to their feet at the same time but Jason is first to move with a right to Cedrone's head, but Cedrone blocks and counters. Another right from Jason and another block and counter from Cedrone. Cedrone fights Jason all the way back to the ropes where he sends Jason into the opposite ropes. Jason on the return and Cedrone for clothesline but Jason ducks it. Jason off the ropes again but this time Cedrone hits a harsh knee to the gut and Jason flips across the ring landing on his back holding his stomach. Jason gets slowly back to his feet, Cedrone was also slow to compose after the move. This time Cedrone is first to make a move though, and hits Jason with a forearm smash, knocking him down. Cedrone immediately drops the knee on Jason's head for good measure. Cedrone pulls Jason up and executes a textbook vertical suplex. Cedrone goes for a cover for the first time this match. ...1 ...2. Jason kicks out without looking too in danger. Cedrone pulls Jason up hits some thunderous rights to his head. Cedrone shoots Jason to the ropes and on the return, takes out with THE CASH OUT! Jonny Cedrone covers. The ref counts ".1 ..2 ...3!!!" Cedrone rolls to his feet as the belt is handed to him, and he stands on the turnbuckle post, as the crowd cheers. Suddenly, from the crowd, Alexia slides in the ring with a steel chair in hand. As Cedrone hops off the turnbuckle, Alexia hauls back and waffles Cedrone in the head with the steel chair. Cedrone goes down, and Alexia hits him in the side once, twice, three times. Alexia drops the chair and has a mic...
ALEXIA: *pant* *pant* Guess what Jonny? I had myself a nice little chat with Vik, and guess what? We get to have ourselves a nice little best of three series. And if I can beat you, guess who's getting a shot at your shiny title? ME.
Alexia drops the mic as the crowd boos. She smirks as she rolls out of the ring and walks back up to the back as Cedrone lays prone in the ring.)-)-)
World Heavyweight Championship