Monday, May 27, 2013

The Pyros hit at the top of the ramp all the way down to the ring and on the ring posts as Full House begins. The crowd are going bonkers all over the arena and there isn't a fan in his seat in this packed 11500 person arena.

JOEY STYLES: Welcome ladies and gentlemen to our latest edition of Monday Night Full House. I'm Joey Styles.
P. LICKIN: And I'm Joey Styles' stepfather.
JOEY STYLES: P! It's Memorial Day!
P. LICKIN: You're right you're right... before we start, The VWF has a small tribute for all of our soldiers out there. All gave some, but some gave all...

The Soldier's Creed

I am an American Soldier.

I am a warrior and a member of a team.

I serve the people of the United States, and live the Army Values.

I will always place the mission first.

I will never accept defeat.

I will never quit.

I will never leave a fallen comrade.

I am disciplined, physically and mentally tough, trained and proficient in my warrior tasks and drills.

I always maintain my arms, my equipment and myself.

I am an expert and I am a professional.

I stand ready to deploy, engage, and destroy, the enemies of the United States of America in close combat.

I am a guardian of freedom and the American way of life.

I am an American Soldier.

Tornado Kid Vs. Cisco Kid
Ladder Match - #1 Contender for Cabo Wabo Middleweight Championship

(-(-( JOEY STYLES: Ladies and gentlemen, the ladder has been placed outside of the ring, and we are ready to kick off this match to determine the number one contender for the Cabo Wabo Middleweight Championship!

P. LICKIN: Sammy Hagar Memorial Championship.

JOEY STYLES: You really aren't going to let that go, are you?

P. LICKIN: You'd prefer the Can't Drive 55 Middleweight Championship?

JOEY STYLES: No. Fans, tonight the Tornado Kid gets a second chance tonight at a championship opportunity as he takes on the returning Cisco Kid, who has made it known that he plans on being the one to hold the Cabo Wabo title high!

P. LICKIN: Two guys named Kid, one of whom is like 30. Any pedophiles in the audience are going to be REALLY disappointed.

JOEY STYLES: Hopefully those types are far, far away from the VWF Colieseum. That said, let's take it to Tina Peterson for the introductions!

TINA PETERSON: Good evening VWF Fans! The following match is a ladder match to determine the second contender to the Cabo Wabo Midddleweight Championship!

"Tornado" begins to play on the PA system, signaling the lightning-fast entrance of…

TINA PETERSON: Introducing first, he hails from Boston, Massachusetts. Weighing in at one-hundred seventy six pounds, the TORNADO KID!

The Tornado Kid comes out to a rousing cheer as he pumps his fists to crank up the audience, then bolts to the ring in a full sprint. Sliding underneath the bottom rope, he rolls over, kips, and jumps onto the top turnbuckle.

P. LICKIN: There's no way he doesn't need a nap after that.

JOEY STYLES: You'd have collapsed at the curtain.

TINA PETERSON: And his opponent: he hails from Los Angeles, California. Accompanied to the ring by Hisa-Me and weighing in at two-hundred twenty pounds, the CISCO KID!

"Full Nelson" by Limp Bizkit blares on the speakers, and the audience blows the doors off the Coliseum, as Cisco and Hisa-Me make their way out.

JOEY STYLES: What a reaction for the returning Cisco Kid!

P. LICKIN: And what an outfit for Hisa-Me! I'd like to smell her laundry.

Cisco Kid and his cohort make their way down the aisle, Cisco nodding briefly to acknowledge the welcome. Hisa-Me takes her place on the outside corner as Cisco Kid ascends the stairs and enters the ring, pointing to the briefcase hanging just above the ladder.

JOEY STYLES: Two similar styles in this match, so it should make for a fast-paced scramble to get to the top of the ladder for that shot at the Cabo Wabo Championship!

P. LICKIN: A guy named after a storm against a guy named after the Thong Song. While both are cool in their own rights, I have to put my money on something that still shows up in Midwestern bars in 2013.

JOEY STYLES: You're an idiot.

The sound of the bell begins the match, and Tornado Kid immediately takes the offensive with a standing head scissors takedown. Cisco, a little surprised by the opener, immediately gets to his feet only to be met with a step-up Enziguri from Tornado.

JOEY STYLES: Some incredible precision offense from Tornado Kid to start us off! You can tell he really wants to make up for the loss from two weeks ago!

P. LICKIN: A chance at the Sammy Hagar Memorial Championship is not something to take lightly.

Feeding off of the momentum and the buzzing crowd, Tornado Kid scales the turnbuckle and waits for the Cisco Kid to get back to an upright position. As soon as he's up, Tornado Kid lands a spectacular-looking wheel kick right to the side of the head! He kips up to his feet, and pumps his fist in the air, going onto the apron and catapulting off of it with a beautiful corkscrew senton. However, Cisco's veteran sense allows for him to roll out of the way just in time, leaving Tornado Kid with nothing but a mat to fall on.

JOEY STYLES: Nobody home on that, as the Tornado Kid may have telegraphed it too much there.

P. LICKIN: The Tornado became a dust storm! Speaking of dust storms, did you smell that fart I just had a minute ago?

Cisco now takes the offensive, capitalizing on the wounded Tornado Kid by lifting him up and planting him with a sit-out gourd buster! The Cisco Kid flings the smaller Tornado Kid into the turnbuckle, and comes at him full force with a running elbow smash.

P. LICKIN: It really was pretty bad, huh?

JOEY STYLES: Meanwhile, aside from Lickin's ass, we have an action-packed match going on right now, and it looks like the Cisco Kid has finally gotten the upper hand in this match.

P. LICKIN: He's letting him see his thong! All night long!

JOEY STYLES: Enough with the horrible references.

The Cisco Kid now has Tornado in a side headlock, but the younger competitor is showing some fight as he delivers a few blows to his stomach. Tornado wiggles his way out of the headlock and heads for the ropes to get some steam, but is grounded by Cisco's outstretched arm directly to the neck. Cisco Kid, with a satisfied smile on his face, lifts Tornado Kid up and props his feet headlong on the ropes, only to immediately drop him with an assisted DDT!

JOEY STYLES: That couldn't have been pleasant for the Tornado Kid, as Cisco now knows he's got the upper hand in this one! Cisco Kid now heading to the outside, and he's got his eyes set on that ladder.

P. LICKIN: You think anyone's ever just tried to jump for the briefcase rather than use the ladder?

JOEY STYLES: No. I can definitely say that in all my years of broadcasting, no one has ever been that stupid.

P. LICKIN: Hey, innovation is the key to growth. Or something.

JOEY STYLES: I don't think there's anything innovative about trying to jump twenty feet in the air to grab something.

P. LICKIN: It'd work if the ring was a trampoline, like it SHOULD be.

The Cisco Kid has now slid the ladder inside the ring, and hustles back inside to begin to set it up. However, Tornado Kid has received his second wind, and as Cisco holds the tool upright, he is met with a missile dropkick to the face thanks to Tornado's feet and an unbiased ladder!

JOEY STYLES: Looks like there's still some fight left in the Tornado Kid! Tornado now flings Cisco into the turnbuckle…NO! Reversed!

The Tornado Kid sees a running Cisco Kid coming toward him, but at the last second, he ducks and hops the turnbuckle, coming down with the Tornado DDT!

JOEY STYLES: TORNADO DDT! That might spell the end of this match, fans! Cisco has just been laid out by that devastating maneuver!

P. LICKIN: Does every move he does have to have some kind of spin on it? Cliche.

The Tornado Kid has now begun the process of setting up the ladder. After fidgeting with it for a few seconds, it is grounded, and he begins his ascent toward the briefcase.

JOEY STYLES: Tornado Kid is going to get his rematch with El Lobo Grande, as he is only a few rungs away from grabbing that prize.

P. LICKIN: Don't count out Cisco, though, as it looks like he's coming to his feet! P. Diddy said that exact line back in 2002.

JOEY STYLES: Cisco is up! And he's backed up to catch Tornado Kid right on his shoulders! It looks like he's about to send him crashing down with an electric chair drop! Tornado Kid is down! Cisco is climbing up the ladder. P. LICKIN: Just like your mom climbs MY ladder.

JOEY STYLES: He's got it! Cisco Kid wins!

Cisco grabs the case and hops down as the crowd cheers. )-)-)

Winner: Cisco Kid wins

(The VWF goes to commercial...)

(The VWF returns from commercial...)

CRIMSON LIGHTENING SEGMENT

(Backstage, Kyle Bacon can be seen walking down the hallway. He makes his way to The American Storm's lockerroom, where he sees Crimson Lightening walking down the hallway his way...)

KYLE BACON: Crimson! Crimson!

CRIMSON LIGHTENING: ...

KYLE BACON: Later tonight you are in the main event with a shot at taking revenge on TD Alexander for last week's win over you. What are your thoughts on the match?

CRIMSON LIGHTENING: You really are a worthless interviewer, you know that?

KYLE BACON: Um...

CRIMSON LIGHTENING: My thoughts? My only thoughts are that drunk Russian better do his job, or next week he'll have to deal with the NEXT Cold War. Now get out of my way, Canadian.

(Crimson shoves Kyle Bacon out of the way and goes into his lockerroom as the cameras fade)

(The VWF goes to commercial...)

(The VWF returns from commercial...)

Christian Malice Vs. Tanner Summers w/ Allison Tumbler

(-(-( TINA PETERSON: And introducing his opponent, accompanied to the ring by Allison Tumbler! From San Diego, California and weighing in at 230 pounds…Tanner Summers!

P. LICKIN: Worst names ever. But damn do I love a bendy gymnast.

JOEY STYLES: An interesting vignette last week from these two, and this crowd is looking forward to what’s in store for this newcomer and his particularly bossy manager!

From behind the curtain walks out none other than Allison Tumbler, clad in yoga pants and a yellow zip up. She is struggling, however, trying to pull out Tanner Summers who is putting up a lot of resistance. Finally, he reluctantly walks out, and the Full House audience can now see the reason of his shame.

P. LICKIN: Hahaha! Look at his tights!

JOEY STYLES: Is that even, uh…allowed?

The camera focuses in on the pair of bright yellow trunks that reveal the word “PEE PEE” on the front in hot pink bubble lettering. Tumbler, flashing the smile of smiles, spins him reluctantly around to reveal “BOOTY” on the back in the same typeface and color.

JOEY STYLES: This can’t be what Tanner Summers envisioned as his television debut in the sport. But, it is reminiscent as to what he warned us about earlier this week.

Tumbler, almost to the ring as the audience emits a dull roar of laughter and catcalls to the crestfallen Tanner who lags behind with his head down, calls for the house microphone. Summers meets her at the apron and appropriately holds the ropes open for his girlfriend, following behind her and taking shelter in the corner. The music is cut off and Allison Tumbler addresses the audience as well as Christian Malice, who is currently holding back laughter in the opposite corner.

ALLISON TUMBLER: Ladies and gentlemen, behold the Pee-Pee!

Pointing her index finger directly at Tanner Summers’ crotch, the audience laughs out loud, even sparking up a slightly audible “PEE PEE! PEE PEE! PEE PEE!” chant from a few fans at ringside.

ALLISON TUMBLER: Last week, you heard my hunk of a man claim that words on his tights would just draw attention to whatever body part they were on, and it didn’t matter WHAT they said, as the implied meaning would just be to ‘look here’ at it. I, Allison Tumbler, the highest IQ in the room, have taken his words to heart.

P. LICKIN: Well, he DID say that, didn’t he?

JOEY STYLES: Talk about your one-upsmanship!

ALLISON TUMBLER: So, Tanner, consider this your way of proving yourself wrong. Tonight, you have the chance to get the eyes off of your privates and onto the fact that YOU are more than just a dick. That you are MORE than just an ass. And by the time this loser over here in the corner…

Tumbler points at Christian Malice, who simply dismisses the accusation with a hand gesture of his own.

ALLISON TUMBLER: …is pinned to the mat and wondering exactly why he left the foodservice industry to wrestle in the first place, the rest of those mouth-breathers in the locker room will know that you aren’t just another pretty boy with an even prettier girl at your side. Make them realize that you are not only a dick and an ass, but a complete and total PACKAGE. So, good luck, sweetie.

JOEY STYLES: So this was all just a motivation tactic, huh? Seems like this lady might just know what she’s doing after all!

P. LICKIN: Well, Christian Malice isn’t exactly going to be a piece of cake, Styles. It may take more than some stupid tights to win him this match.

The bell rings as Summers and Malice lock up. Malice whips Summers against the ropes, looking to get the advantage early one with a clothesline on Summers that connects. Summers falls hard to the mat, but quickly gets up as Malice lets out his frustration with lefts and rights on Summers. Malice with a kick to the gut followed by a snap suplex on Summers, before going for the cover: 1…kick out by Summers! Malice quickly grabs Summers in a front headlock, not allowing Summers any room to breathe as he switches to a gutwrench on the mat. Summers is looking for a vertical base, but finds it difficult with the bigger Malice still on top of him. Allison cheers on Summers from ringside as Malice picks him up, slamming him hard on the mat before going for a rear chinlock. Summers inches toward the ropes, hoping to break the hold as the crowd begins to follow Allison's lead in cheering him on. Summers eventually gets to the ropes, forcing Malice to break the hold. Malice immediately gets back on the attack, putting the boot to the head of Summers. The ref scolds the cocky Malice, who simply brushes it off before going back to work on Summers…who clocks Malice with a hard right hand! Summers follows up with more lefts and rights, the crowd going wild for him as he whips Malice against the ropes. The momentum is going his way as Summers lands a hard hip toss on Malice, following up with an arm drag when Malice tries to get back up.

JOEY STYLES: The crowd has been getting behind Tanner Summers here tonight, P!

P. LICKIN: Of course they are, Joey! All it took was a little motivation from Allison Tumbler. Man, I wouldn't mind motivating her if you catch what I'm throwin'.

JOEY STYLES:

Summers lifts Malice up for a suplex, but the damage done earlier allows Malice to pull Summers down for a DDT!

JOEY STYLES: Oh my! Malice might pull off the victory here!

Malice goes for the cover again: 1, 2…no, Summer kicks out! The crowd is abuzz now, as Summers slowly gets to his feet. Malice looks to go for a right hand, but Summers blocks it! Summers delivers a flurry of lefts and rights, before slamming Malice with a German suplex! The crowd is chanting "Tanner, Tanner" as Summers kicks Malice in the gut before grabbing his arms, setting up…and connecting with the tiger bomb!

JOEY STYLES: SPF 15! Summers does it! Summers connects! Is this it for Christian Malice!?

Summers goes for the cover. ".1 ..2 ...3!!!" The ref calls for the bell as Allison slides into the ring, holding Summers' arm up in victory. Allison steps on the apron and gets in the ring, insisting that the ref raise her arm in victory as well. )-)-)

Winner: Tanner Summers wins

(The VWF goes to commercial...)

(The VWF returns from commercial...)

______ _____ SEGMENT

The lights go out again and blazing lasers and strobe lights create a frame around the VikingTron which is again in static.

“….the years I’ve spent in that solemn state, I wandered and came from that nothingness, from that failure, that faux competitive nature to what I always needed foremost…..education.”

Everything is back to normal. Everyone is puzzled.

JOEY STYLES:What is going on?

P. LICKIN:Did anyone really care about last week’s?

(The VWF goes to commercial...)

(The VWF returns from commercial...)

Mysterious (c) Vs. Jared "The Swedish" Fish
Britannia Heavyweight Championship

(-(-( The two lockup, Fish forces Mysterious into a corner. The ref begins counting, Fish lets off, Myserious spears Fish onto the floor and unleashes lefts and rights. Fish eventually kicks him off and clotheslines him. Mysterious rises and bear hugs him back down and holds Fish in a headlock. Fish tries to elbow himself out of it but Mysterious is able to spin to his back and impale his spine with his knee.

JOEY STYLES: Owiee.

P. LICKIN: That’s what your mom said.

Mysterious keeps his knee against Fish’s spine. Fish tries hard to fight out of it, eventually he trips Mysterious, quickly runs against the ropes and delivers a knee to Mysterious’s head. Fish then performs a legdrop and goes for a pin. Mysterious kicks out.

P. LICKIN: Try the Hulk call next time.

JOEY STYLES: Hey, I always speak first.

Fish pulls up Mysterious and lands some rights, grapples him but Mysterious counter grapples and boots Fish down. Mysterious lands an elbow, pulls Fish up and performs 3 German Suplexes. Mysterious holds Fish in a pan…

P. LICKIN: In a pan?

…in a PIN, but only gets a 2 count.

Fish immediately gets up and delivers a Swedish Surprise clothesline. Mysterious charges back but is forced against the ropes by Fish…

JOEY STYLES: Am I the only one who gets annoyed by the writer only calling him Fish?

P. LICKIN: I know it annoys me, it reminds of your…

JOEY STYLES: ….Shut up.

Mysterious charges back but is forced against the ropes by Fish, who then delivers a Sweet Tooth as the ref counts. Fish then grapples Mysterious into a corner and rams into him and delivers a bunch of rights as Mysterious drops.

Mysterious slides out of the ring and shakes it off, walks near the announcer’s table and grabs his weapon of choice, the chair and tosses it into the ring. Mysterious returns to the ring and they lock up. Fish puts Mysterious in a headlock. Mysterious starts forcing Fish towards the ropes, Fish is able to use the ropes to backflip over behind Mysterious and dropkick him.

Mysterious is stuck on the second rope, Fish runs against the back ropes and attempts to ram Mysterious, but Mysterious counters with a kick and trips Fish, forcing him to land face first onto the folded chair. The ref does not DQ him, as he did not physically hit him with it.

JOEY STYLES: That’s good.

P. LICKIN: Since when did we start doing things the WWE way?

Mysterious starts to dominate. A few chops to the chest. Some grapple clotheslines and a dropkick. He goes for a pin but Fish counters it into an ankle lock. Mysterious then counters into a Grim Hold, but then Fish counters back into a Fish Hook…

JOEY STYLES AND P. LICKIN: Rock, Paper, Scissors….

JOEY STYLES: Rock

P. LICKIN: Rock

JOEY STYLES AND P. LICKIN: Rock, Paper, Scissors….

JOEY STYLES: Rock

P. LICKIN: Rock

Mysterious counters into an Olympic Slam, sprints to the top turnbuckles and does a flying elbow. He goes for a pin and gets a 2 count. A furious a Mysterious picks up the chair and is met with a surprising dropkick from Fish. Fish runs against the ropes and performs a legdrop. Fish then runs against the ropes again and knees Mysterious in the face. He then performs a dropping fist to Mysterious’s face and locks in the Fish Hook.

Fish keeps it locked in putting more and more strain on Mysterious’s neck and spine. Mysterious battles his way out by eventually getting to his feet and delivering some eblows to Fish’s midsection. Mysterious escapes the hold and delivers 3 German Suplexes. Mysterious puts Fish in a headlock. He delivers a knees to his midsection. Mysterious releases Fish and chops away at his chest. Fish counters with his own. The 2 exchange chops. The 2 simultaneously run against the ropes on their respective side and do a double clothesline.

JOEY STYLES: Double clothesline!

P. LICKIN: So who’s going to hang them?

Mysterious is the first to move and starts going for a turnbuckle. Fish starts shortly after and sees Mysterious starting to climb. Fish then goes to his own turnbuckle and starts to climb it. Eventually as they both get to the top they realize both are ready to attack.

JOEY STYLES: What’s going on?

P. LICKIN: Isn’t Phoenix afraid of heights?

JOEY STYLES: Wrong match.

After a long staredown, the two get ready to jump. Mysterious jumps and goes for a flying dropkick, Fish jumps off his and does a powerful flying punch, both hitting each other in the air simultaneously and drop like flies and both land on top of each other in a pin position.

JOEY STYLES: Both have each other in a pin hold!

P. LICKIN: So get another ref out here and we’ll have some simultaneous pin counting!

Another ref comes running down the ramp and slides in the ring. Fish groggily lets his experience take over, and he pushes Mysterious' arm off of him. The ref counts ".1 ..2 ...3!!!" )-)-)

Winner: Jared "The Swedish" Fish wins the Britannia Heavyweight Championship

(The VWF goes to commercial...)

(The VWF returns from commercial...)

ALEX GIBSON SEGMENT

We cut to a pre-taped footage. Scene is set in a gym, where we can see a very well built man in his early 20s sitting on a bech. Dressed in black shorts and a wifebeater, he wipes sweat off his body, presumably after a hard workout. The man sets his sights on the camera with a dead serious face.

ALEX GIBSON: My name is Alex Gibson and I am from Chicago, Illinois. You guys can get used to seeing me more and more, but in kind of a different position. With my hands raised. It may sound kind of egotistical, yeah, but believe me - I am that good. I set a goal, and that goal is to make 2013 my year, to show the minor leagues I was part of were really to small for me and that I can conquer the world of professional wrestling. I am a workhorse, a machine, and I won't rest until I have the World Championship around my waist. There is a long, long way to this... but I am just the ideal guy to walk it. See you all at the next show, where you'll be able to witness that my words can be backed up by my actions.

Gibson raises his left fist in the air.

ALEX GIBSON: Glory to Gibson...

Alex sling the towel over his shoulder and leaves as we cut back to ringside.

(The VWF goes to commercial...)

(The VWF returns from commercial...)

MAVERICK JONES, BRAD JONES, MARK ISH, COBALT LIGHTNING SEGMENT

JOEY STYLES: It seems now that The Viking King is back, everyone wants a piece of VWF Action!

P. LICKIN: Posers! I was here faithfully while The Viking King was gone!

JOEY STYLES: Only because you signed a 15 year contract. Who does that anyway?

P. LICKIN: It was a good deal!

JOEY STYLES: At the time. Anyway, like I said, everyone wants a piece of VWF action, and here's what our camera crews caught earlier today...

---

COBALT: What do you mean I don't work here anymore?

We are outside the VWF Colleseum with Cobalt Lightning being denied entrance by security.

SECURITY: Well when Crimson Lightening became VWF World Champion again, he had one very specfic request, and that was to make sure you don't work here anymore.

COBALT: But that's not fair!

Cobalt throws a fit. Behind him Brad Jones, secretly the Black Black Ranger, along with Mark Ish, secretly the Pretty Pink Ranger. They too are stopped by security.

BRAD JONES: Hey, what gives?

SECURITY: You don't work here anymore.

BRAD JONES: What are you talking about? I've never worked here before.

SECURITY: Aren't you one of those Power Ranger guys?

BRAD JONES: WRASSLIN' Rangers!

SECURITY: Aha!

BRAD JONES: Well why the heck don't I work here anymore? Did some two bit superstar ban me like they did Bronze here?

COBALT: That's Cobalt!

BRAD JONES: Whatever Maroon.

SECURITY: No, you're not banned by anyone.

BRAD JONES: Then what's the reason dawg?

SECURITY: You never signed your new contract tender and thus were future endeavoed by the company.

COBALT: #futureendeavheads.

MARK ISH: Did you just speak with a hash tag sweety?

The four men look at each other back and forth.

BRAD JONES: You don't have to let Zinc here in, but we're heroes Mark and I.

SECURITY: Aren't there supposed to be five of you?

BRAD JONES: Yea but we haven't canonized their secret identities yet.

SECURITY: I still can't let any of you in.

MARK ISH: What if we had a chaperone?

He alerts Brad Jones to someone behind them.

SECURITY: Well than I guess I could let you in...

Everyone except Cobalt turns around to greet this new arrival.

COBALT: Why the hell are you not paying attention to me anymore? Hello? Bueller?

SECURITY: Mr. Jones, please, come right in.

MAVERICK JONES: Thanks. You know how hectic it would be if I entered through the main concourse?

COBALT: What the heck! HE doesn't work here anymore either! Why in God's name does he get to come inside but I don't?!?!?

MAVERICK JONES: Because I bought a ticket, ringside.

COBALT: That's not fair!

BRAD JONES: It's...not fair that you look like Crimson and impersonated him for an entire year either, but you did it anyway!

SECURITY: Everyone needs to remain calm. I have Mr. Jones here for four ringside tickets. Something about a new competition?

MAVERICK JONES: I'm bringing Maverick's Wrestling Challenge to the VWF! And it's going to be sooooooo cool! Plus this time around I get to pick the cast! Yay me!

BRAD JONES: Considering last time some two bit hack producer picked a bunch of drama school dropouts for you to train.

MAVERICK JONES: That's not nice! They were...a special cast.

COBALT: Just like I'm a special wrestler. Put me in your cast.

BRAD JONES: No way.

COBALT: I'm a former VWF Champion! I hold the record for most eliminations in a single Rumble match!

MAVERICK JONES: Actually all those cool accolades are attributed to the guy you impersonated.

COBALT: WHAT?

MAVERICK JONES: It's all here on the official thevwf.net Android App!

Maverick hands Cobalt his phone. Cobalt walks off looking at all the features of the new VWF App, available right now.

BRAD JONES: Is that all we had to do to get rid of Cobalt, give him a phone to steal? Man, I would have giving him Mark's phone five minutes ago.

MARK ISH: Hay!

SECURITY: Mr. Jones, the show is about to start. Please take your seats...

BRAD JONES: You bought four seats for yourself?

MAVERICK JONES: Yea. Bye.

Maverick enters The VWF Arena while the Wrasslin' Rangers look on. We then cut to ringside with P. Lickin and Joey Styles.

P. LICKIN: Say it ain't so! We need to see more of Maverick?

Cut to a ringside shot where Maverick sits front row with some random VWF fans.

JOEY STYLES: Say it ain't so! VWF has a new App!

P. LICKIN: Available now on Apple and Android.

(The VWF goes to commercial...)

(The VWF returns from commercial...)

"Better" Bobby Bostwick w/Brent Cross Vs.
Alex Thunder w/ Chris Monsoon Vs.
Lorenz Black w/ Chance Black

(-(-( JOEY STYLES: Kicking it into high gear tonight, this next match is a triple-threat match with all kinds of implications surrounding the tag team division. Granted just one member from these tag teams are competing tonight, but both members will be here. It certainly has the makings of an all-out-brawl written all over it. I guess we will just have to wait to see.

P. LICKIN: Wait to see what?

JOEY STYLES: If the match turns into an all-out-brawl.

P. LICKIN: What match?

JOEY STYLES: The match coming up right now, so get your cell phone out of your crotch, erase those photos of your taint, and think of a way you can be accidentally sending those nasty pics to the interns that the front office will believe.

P. LICKIN: I was pocket-dialing. And I have a have a hole in my pocket. And I don't wear underwear.

JOEY STYLES: I dunno', that doesn't seem realistic enough. Think of something more depraved.

P. LICKIN: Well, I'll come up with something if I need to. But, I tell ya', it's going to take more than abusing the VWF App to get me outta' this car.

JOEY STYLES: Oh, that's right. We're supposed to be promoting that thing. Okay, well, now is better than never. That's right, everyone, go ahead on your smart phone and download the VWF App. You'll get the highlights to all your favorite VWF programs and all new backstage interviews not shown on television.

P. LICKIN: Plus all those pictures of my taint should be deleted by now.

JOEY STYLES: Certainly a plus – for the app and humanity. But enough of that, let's get to the triple-threat action!

The lights dim in the Arena as rolling thunder can be heard throughout the arena. "Don't Hate Me" by Nerf Herder starts to play. The lights begin to flash dark red. A single red lightning bolt comes from the ceiling to the top of the ramp, there are Alex Thunder and Chris Monsoon standing there, looking out. The two of them come down the ramp to a chorus of boos as they smirk and roll in the ring.

TINA PETERSON: Introducing first, being accompanied to the ring by Chris Monsoon, he is one half of the American Storm – Alex Thunder!!!

JOEY STYLES: Alex is the representative for the American Storm tonight. Chris is going to be looking on at ring side, hoping his tag partner can get their team back to their winning ways and possibly another shot at the championships.

P. LICKIN: They could do it, Joey. They are young, agile, and flexible, so absolutely nothing like your mother.

JOEY STYLES: They haven't seen a ton of luck come their way since the Varsity Squad arrival, and to make matters worse, recently they've been taking it hard from those frat boys. At every corner, they are just getting pounded.

P. LICKIN: That actually sounds exactly like your mother.

TINA PETERSON: And now, representing the Black Republicans, being accompanied to the ring by Chance Black – it's Lorenz Black!!!

As the regal melody sounds the Lorenz Black parts the backstage curtain. He comes out filled with fury and emotion, swinging his arms wildly, pumping up each side of the arena. Chance walks out slowly, strolling in a half crouch with his hand shielding his eyes…which are covered by Aviators. The fans go nuts for the perennial contenders. Chance and Lorenz stroll down to the ring, Lorenz with raw emotion and Chance with the narcissistic swagger that makes women swoon; men wanna hate and makes children idolize him.

JOEY STYLES: Now that's a reception! The VWF is going wild for these guys - the only two black guys that probably didn't vote for Obama!

P. LICKIN: Joey, that sounds hella' racist...

JOEY STYLES: Oh, well, I didn't mean it that way. I was just making a political joke.

P. LICKIN: Likely story...

JOEY STYLES: It's true. Plus, I have some black friends, who just so happen to be black, so it's cool. They got my back, if I need 'em.

P. LICKIN: Go on. Continue. This hole isn't deep enough.

JOEY STYLES: Fo'shizzle!

P. LICKIN: That was so white, it sent back our people a thousand years.

TINA PETERSON: And now introducing, one half of the Viking Wrestling Tag Team Champions, making his way to the ring with Brent Cross. Representing the Varsity Squad, it's “Better” Bobby Bostwick!!!

Brent and Bobby hit the entrance ramp with a concussive blast of boos. “For Ramridge” plays while they strut to the ring, their championship titles slung over their shoulders.

JOEY STYLES: Love them or more likely hate them, the Varsity Squad has proven the naysayers wrong. These young men are championship material, through and through, and to take their titles away, you simply just can't wait until they have an off-day, because that day may never happen.

P. LICKIN: OH! Plus, it looks like Brent is carrying something large.

JOEY STYLES: Indeed. It's a long box. Is it flowers?

P. LICKIN: You wish, princess.

As Bobby marches up the ring steps and enters the ring, Brent and his box makes their way to the commentators table. The Brilliant One put the box along the top of the table and finds a seat beside Joey.

P. LICKIN: It looks like we'll have a guest for this match, Joey.

JOEY STYLES: Oh, great... Welcome, Brent...

BRENT CROSS: You see, Joey, that tone right there. That tone. That's why I knew better not to bring anything for you.

JOEY STYLES: What?

BRENT CROSS: I've been given some time away from training, so I thought I'd get some gifts for my two favorite voices of the VWF, but as I was standing there, I just knew you wouldn't appreciate it, Joey. So, I just go something extra special for P.

P. LICKIN: A gift? For me? You really shouldn't have.

P. opens up the box and it's an expensive-looking golf club. P. doesn't know how quite to handle it, but it can instantly tell from it's tinier details how incredibly expensive it must have been.

BRENT CROSS: What's your handicap, P.?

JOEY STYLES: His? Oh, I don't know, frontal lobe? That whole area.

BRENT CROSS: Wow, grow up, Styles.

P. LICKIN: Aaaand a retard joke. Good one, Joey. Never mind him, Brent.

BRENT CROSS: Well come out to my father's course sometime. We'll even take out that new five-iron there and work on your back swing. The bell sounds and the match is underway.

JOEY STYLES: Shouldn't you be supporting your tag team partner, Brent, instead of bothering us with all this golf talk?

BRENT CROSS: I support my fellow Ramridge brother fully! He knows that! That is why we are tag team champions! He knows he has my support right here. I don't have to be there shouting advice like these other two goons. Bobby is just a better specimen than them. He knows how to win, it's burned into his mind and courses through his veins – he doesn't have to hear it from me.

All three superstars begin to size each other up, until Alex and Lorenz look a tad more interested in straightening out Bostwick first. They close him off into a corner, where he immediately pops through the ropes. The referee is there to acknowledge the rope-break, and the two title-hungry competitors are forced to back away from the champ.

JOEY STYLES: Are you sure? It looks like there is a common enemy in this triple-threat and Bobby could find himself outnumbered quick.

Thunder takes a few more steps back then Black, and then out of nowhere, opens up the first bit of offense of the match by clotheslining the newly-returning fan-favorite. Black hits the mat face-first, and Alex goes to town stomping from above. Bobby is happy to look on from a distance.

Alex lifts up Black and slams him back down. He waves off the boos and the heckling his underhanded tactics bring in, and lifts up the republican. He whips him across the ropes and then connects with vicious standing dropkick that is right on the mark. Thunder pops up, pumping his fist, but the fans aren't so happy to cheer for his aggression. He shouts back, walking towards the ropes, pointing and arguing with fans in the front row, by while distracted, receives a quick and precise hand from the opportunistic Bostwick, tossing him to the padding outside. Alex crashes hard and Chris rushes over to see if he's okay.

BRENT CROSS: Yeah, I am sure, Joey. Quite sure. Bobby is the pinnacle of excellence and athleticism, and just BETTER than the competition.

Living up to his tag partners words, Bobby doesn't waste time gloating over the suffering Thunder, he instantly pops over to Lorenz Black, first stomping a few hard boots in there, and then applies a head-crushing side head lock. Black tries to force his way out, but there is no use, it's locked on way too tight for that, so he begins to blindly flail, wildly punching around him. A lucky punch lands in the lower back, kidney-area, of Bostwick and he flinches the hold. Black fires the same punch again and again. The crowd cheers are Black begins to fight his through it. Soon, he's struggled the hold to a standing position, where he counters the hold with a German suplex. Bobby hits the mat hard, but Lorenz cannot jump on him quick enough. Both men come to their fight at the same time.

JOEY STYLES: This is the first time a member of the Black Republicans is meeting a member of the the Varsity Squad. There are rumors implying that this is the future of the tag team division. How the future starts to unfold could very well be dictated by this match right now.

BRENT CROSS: You got that half right, Joey. The Varsity Squad is the future, and not just of the tag team division, but of the entire VWF. We make the tag team division the big event, the main event. These other idiots are just lucky they are on for the ride.

Bobby and Lorenz meet in the center of the ring with a test of strength. It goes back and forth, with it finally looking like Lorenz can power it his way, until Bobby cuts that off with a mean boot to the gut. He follows it up with a fisherman suplex that bounces Black's back off the mat. Lorenz comes to, staggering to the corner, and Bostwick charges forward with head full of steam. He looks to connect with a clothesline, but Black throws up a boot at the last second, catching Bobby and his jaw off-guard. Bostwick staggers back a bit. Black follows, reaching and grabbing a hand of hair. He pulls Bostwick back into the corner and climbs the middle rope. To the pleasure of the crowd, they count off ten stiff rights to the Better One, before the referee breaks it up.

JOEY STYLES: Alex is back into this. The other two should take note.

Once in the ring, Thunder charges over to Black, but is met with a series of kicks to the gut. They keel over the young member of the American Storm, leaving all the opportunity Black needs to whip him across the squared-circle and connect with a spine-shattering sidewalk slam. Bobby emerges from the corner, but is met with a handful of hair by Black, and as Alex comes to, Lorenz cracks both their heads together, sending both his opponents in opposite directions.

JOEY STYLES: Black is back into this!

P. LICKIN: And it's only the second time the referee has told him to stop pulling Bobby's hair.

BRENT CROSS: Thank you, P. I'm glad someone else was noticed. Sometimes personal bias can blind oneself to excuse blatant cheating, if your man is the one perpetrating it.

JOEY STYLES: Brent, every match you've been in has been full of hair-pulling and low blows. You're the last person to talk about fighting fair.

BRENT CROSS: Blinded by personal bias.

JOEY STYLES: Whatever, Brent.

The crowd pops as Lorenz advances, whipping Bobby into a turnbuckle. He charges in, hits a clothesline, and as his opponent stumbles out, he finishes it up with a bulldog. Alex walks closer whips Lorenz against the ropes. He looks to hit a back body drop, but Lorenz pauses, clubs Alex in the back, and unplugs Thunder with a devastating power bomb. He makes a cover.

JOEY STYLES: Bobby breaks it up at a two-count, but did you see it? Chris is already looking timid outside the ring. If it wasn't for Bobby, I would think Chris would be in the ring breaking that up.

BRENT CROSS: That moron would - throwing all chances to actually win the match by instantly getting disqualified. That is why the Varsity Squad has gold and the American Storm does not. We understand how to win.

P. LICKIN: It's so true! Go Bobby!

JOEY STYLES: Would you shut up! You're just gushing because Brent brought you a new, shiny, toy.

Bostwick pops off the pinfall break and sizes up Black in his blindside. As Black comes to a virtual base, Bobby charges in with a brutal forearm blast that drives the republican to the outside. Chance rushes over and sees if his partner is okay.

P. LICKIN: And there goes Lorenz. It looks like that the only one that hasn't taken a trip to the floor yet is Bobby Bostwick.

BRENT CROSS: Thank you, again, P., I'm glad someone else notices the same things I do.

P. LICKIN: You know, we're a pretty good commentating team. I could talk to people...

JOEY STYLES: I think the VWF fans would revolt if they had to hear you two every week. You two would have a revolution on your hands.

Bobby marches over to Alex Thunder, drops a knee to his back, stomps on his hands, and while his attention is towards his stinging fingers, Bostwick wraps Alex in a figure-four leglock. Thunder immediately sees his error, but it's too late. All he can do is scream, as the referee asks if he quits.

JOEY STYLES: Smart move by Bostwick, working on the legs of the high-flyer.

BRENT CROSS: Genius even.

P. LICKIN: Without his legs, Thunder is as good as gone. He needs to escape this move, or better yet, just tap out and fight another day.

JOEY STYLES: He's no quitter, P. Alex has tons of heart. But Chris is looking on quite intently and he looks like he's going to jump the apron anytime now.

Bobby sits up on the figure-four and applies even more pressure. Alex grimaces, and as a last resort, he rolls over, reversing the submission hold. Bobby is now in the crushing leg vice he once created, but he quickly reaches out and grabs the bottom rope. Alex holds the move until the referee gets to his five count.

JOEY STYLES: That could have been really bad for Bobby.

BRENT CROSS: Could have, but he wouldn't have done it to begin if he wasn't aware it could have been countered. That's why he placed himself so close to the ropes. Trust me, Joey, Bobby knows what he is doing.

Lorenz slides back into the ring, and hits Bobby with a diving ax-handle before he can get up. He spins on his knees and hits Thunder with the same. He pulls Thunder off the mat, whips him against the ropes, and nearly breaks him in half with a textbook back-breaker. Black goes for the pin.

JOEY STYLES: Another pin attempt and another save from Bostwick. Again, just a two count.

Lorenz turns his attention on Bostwick, laying some mean lefts and rights against the champion's skull. He then takes a few steps back, running into the ropes behind him, and comes towards Bostwick with diving forearm, looking to knock him out of the ring, but Bostwick sees it coming and counters it by lifting Black into the air. Black comes back down with his throat on the top rope.

BRENT CROSS: More genius ring awareness by Bostwick. Possibly softening him up for the Better Buster in the process?

P. LICKIN: Joey would have just said that was desperation.

JOEY STYLES: But I didn't, so you're just putting words in my mouth.

P. LICKIN: I did something like that to your mother the other night.

As Black gasps for air, Bostwick hook him for a fisherman suplex, nails it, and keeps him locked in. He rolls, lifts him a second time, and connects with a second fisherman suplex. Holding still, he rolls yet again and connects with a third and goes for the pin.

JOEY STYLES: Devastating series of suplexes from Bostwick, but Thunder breaks up the pin at two. But you have to wonder, that many maneuvers in row must be a double-edged sword. Sure, Black got the worse out of it, but how much energy did Bostwick just use performing it?

BRENT CROSS: You can wonder all you like, Joey, but Bobby wouldn't have done it unless he understood the pros outweighed the cons.

JOEY STYLES: Maybe so, but this is a triple-threat match. It would be wise not to exert yourself trying to defeat just one of your opponents, because the other one could be waiting in wait.

Thunder mounts Bostwick and rains down some strikes before he's thrown off. Bostwick and Thunder rush to their feet, with both of them making it to their virtual bases at the same time. Alex runs in looking for an enziguri but Bobby ducks it. Alex goes for the reverse enziguri, but that too is dodged. Alex quickly hits an uppercut that jars Bostwick momentarily and finally hits the enziguri after the third attempt. Thunder goes for the pin.

JOEY STYLES: And Bobby gets a foot on the ropes at a two-count.

P. LICKIN: Alex doesn't like how that turned out. I bet he feels he had Bostwick beat, and Chris Monsoon cannot believe his eyes. The American Storm was so close to victory they could taste it.

Bobby takes the opportunity to slide out of the ring, as Thunder vents about the close pinfall. As Bobby recovers, Brent gets away from the commentator's table and checks up on his tag partner.

JOEY STYLES: I thought Brent had all the faith in the world in his tag partner.

P. LICKIN: Maybe they are just discussing plans for a post-match victory party.

As Brent and Bobby share a few words, Lorenz rushes over and baseball slides, hitting both Varsity Squad members over. Bobby collapses to the mats below and Brent crashes into the commentator table, spilling over P. Lickin's gift box.

JOEY STYLES: Just as soon as he left his post as guest commentator, Brent Cross could be out cold. That was quite the smash he took!

P. LICKIN: And to my golf club! What the heck!

Lorenz, high off a ton of momentum, looks to advance and keep the punishment going on Bostwick, but before he could take one step towards him, the unthinkable happens.

JOEY STYLES: COLD FRONT!!! COLD FRONT!!! Cold Front from Alex Thunder! It's over!!!

Lorenz drops like a sack of potatoes, and immediately Alex goes for the cover. Bostwick is still laying on the outside.

JOEY STYLES: Bostwick and Cross are out! It's over – NO! Wait! Chance Black is on the apron, and he's got the referee's attention. That stops the pin fall and Chris Monsoon is livid!

P. LICKIN: More cheating from the Black Republicans, I see.

JOEY STYLES: It's certainly not a tactic you'd see from most of the fan-favorites around these parts, P., but some may argue it's justified. It was the only thing Chance could do.

Monsoon rushes over towards Chance and they exchange words before it goes chaotic. Both men begin to wail on each other, and the referee can do all he can to keep his eyes on everything. He signals for security, just to be sure.

JOEY STYLES: We knew this would happen eventually, but I think the official did too. Not only did the referee call for security to break them up, but he's sending Chance and Chris both to the locker room. That could prove to be big for the Varsity Squad, being a man up for the rest of the match.

P. LICKIN: Brent is still out, you goober!

Back in the ring, Alex is wondering what he has to do to put Lorenz away. He pulls him off the mat, whips him across the ring, and hits him with a head scissor kick with all kinds of bad intentions. He quickly covers the republican.

JOEY STYLES: Thunder with a quick pin, but only gets a two count. Lorenz is showing some serious heart in this one tonight.

Thunder signals for the top rope, and begins to make his way towards it.

JOEY STYLES: Alex looks to do something high-risk, but this may not be the best plan. It looks like the Varsity Squad is coming to.

Thunder dives off the top rope with an enormous frog splash, but Black puts a giant boot in the air, clocking him with it in the jaw as he comes down. Propped up only by Black's big boot, Thunder is out on his feet, literally just leaning into the last attack that took him out.

JOEY STYLES: Thunder is out-cold! The inertia of that frog splash should have brought him to the mat, but that giant boot has made Thunder's poor poor neck and spine defy gravity. Once he wakes up, I'd make in appointment to the chiropractor.

Black is quick to come to his feet. He repositions Thunder and locks him deep with his most lethal submission hold.

JOEY STYLES: Nail In The Coffin!!! Thunder is already snoring, so this match is over as soon as the referee calls for the bell. Point for the Black Republicans!

P. LICKIN: Not just yet!

Bobby slides into the rings and drives a running knee into the back of Lorenz. Black has no choice but to release the hold and drop to a knee. Bostwick continues with the boots and knees to Black, but Black spins around catches a kick. He looks to counter it with a clothesline from hell, but Bostwick ducks it and the republican cleans out the referee. Black is stunned for a quick moment before Bostwick hits him with a reverse neck breaker.

P. LICKIN: Zebra down!

JOEY STYLES: If this wasn't going to turn into madness before, a referee getting knocked out certainly is an omen towards it.

P. LICKIN: ...Hey, my golf club!!!

Armed with P.'s gift, Cross gets to his feet on the outside. Bobby signals to him to take out Thunder who is slowly coming to his feet. Cross slides into the ring, and lifts the club over his head.

JOEY STYLES: OH MY GOD!!! That golf club was just driven right across Thunder's back!!!

P. LICKIN: OH MYGOD!!! Don't break it! I haven't even used it yet!

With Thunder out of the picture, Bobby signals to take out Lorenz next. From a distance, Brent winds up the club like a baseball bat and signals Bobby to pitch him a republican. Bostwick complies, lifting Lorenz up off the mat, and whipping him towards the danger. At the last second however, Black reverses it and quickly changes the momentum. Suddenly, Bostwick is whipped towards a home-run swing. Brent puts the breaks on his swing, but he can't get out of the way. Bobby crashes into him, and both varsity lads crash through the ring ropes to the outside.

The crowd pops. Lorenz is the only man left standing and the referee is finally coming to.

JOEY STYLES: Pin Alex, Lorenz! You have this!

P. LICKIN: MY CLUB!!!!

Black limps to Thunder and collapse on top of him. He barely has the strength to hook a leg.

JOEY STYLES: ONE!!! TWO!!!

P. LICKIN: MY CLUB!!!!

JOEY STYLES: THREEEEE!!! Lorenz Black and the Black Republicans get the win in the first match back in the VWF!!! The Varsity Squad will not like this at all! )-)-)

Winner: Lorenz Black wins

(The VWF goes to commercial...)

(The VWF returns from commercial...)

THE VIKING KING / RICO SEGMENT

We see The Viking King walking hesitantly to Rico’s office. The door is a pure prism with a holographic name plate.

THE VIKING KING: Not too bad….

Rico answers the door right before Viking tries to ooen it.

RICO: Tell me something I don’t know. Hehe, come in come in.

THE VIKING KING: Listen, The Vik….

Viking stops himself as he looks around the room. The tiles light up when you walk on them, everything that has texts on them is holographic, the desk is made from frozen glass that is kept cold by an internal coolant, the window sills are filled with sand with palm trees at every corner of the room with a mini sprinkler system at each area…

THE VIKING KING: …..uh..yeah Listen, The Viking King is….you know what scratch that. How long it take you to create…this?

RICO: Oh just this week. This simple thing…pfft. I can do it in my sleep.

THE VIKING KING: Well, whatever keeps you out of The Viking King’s office.

RICO: You’ll love to know that those sprinklers run at a low tolerance rate, you water bills, please….you won’t know a difference.

THE VIKING KING: Great story. Listen, The Viking….

Suddenly some exotic animals bust out of their cages…

RICO: Oh hold that thought…it’s dinner time.

Rico then prepares their dinners.

RICO: It’s important to strengthen those spines, so as to not convert that beautiful fur to waste.

THE VIKING KING: You know, fuck this, Viking King out.

Suddenly when Viking turns the door seals up.

RICO: Fire and storm precautions. You’re safe in here, my friend. Hehe.

Rico then turns grabs a remote and turns off the lights with it.

RICO: Quick, hide from the burglars. Hehe. Just yanking your…

THE VIKING KING: Shut up…

RICO: …chain.

THE VIKING KING: The Viking King has seen enough, let Him back to work this instance.

RICO: Oh fine….until next time…

The door seal opens, Viking immediately rushes to leave but rams right into the closed prism door.

RICO: Oh…maybe I should’ve turned the lights back on too so you can see the reflective glares. No worries….that’s going in my safety manual right now.

Viking lays on the floor angry and gets out his monthly planner to search again for another hole he can get out of the fed on, but his month is all filled up still.

THE VIKING KING: Dammit.

(The VWF goes to commercial...)

(The VWF returns from commercial...)

El Lobo Grande Vs. Phoenix

(-(-( JOEY STYLES: The following match is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, making his way to the ring from Jackson, New Jersey, weighing in at 225 pounds, Phoenix!

"I Know It's Gonna Hurt" by Prick hits as Phoenix steps through the curtain, accompanied by Rico. Rico does his level best to psych Phoenix up as they make their way down to ringside, with limited success.

TINA PETERSON: And his opponent, making his way to the ring from Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada, weighing in at 220 pounds, El Lobo Grande!

"Battle of One" by 30 Seconds to mars begins to play as the masked El Lobo Grande comes out from the back. He raises his right arm into the air before making his way down the ramp.

JOEY STYLES: El Lobo Grande will face Cisco Kid to determine the Cabo Wabo Middleweight Championship, as we found out later tonight.

P. LICKIN:That's if he can get passed Phoenix tonight.

JOEY STYLES: ...

The bell sounds as Rico stands on the apron addressing Phoenix, telling him he can do it, telling him he's strong, he's tough, he's agile, he's a great human being.

JOEY STYLES: Rico still trying to convince Phoenix of his potential.

P. LICKIN:This is Phoenix' night, I can feel it. I'm predicting a win here.

JOEY STYLES: ...

As Rico is building Phoenix up, El Lobo Grande comes in, looking to take advantage with a drop kick. Phoenix sees him coming out of the corner of his eye and instinctively dodges out of the way. Grande connects with Rico, who falls hard to the outside.

JOEY STYLES: Oh! El Lobo inadvertantly takes out Rico, who takes a bad spill to the floor!

P. LICKIN:That is not sitting well with Phoenix!

Something in Phoenix snaps at seeing Rico kicked in the face in the middle of saying how great he is. Before he even realizes what he's doing, Phoenix clocks Lobo with a haymaker that drops the middleweight contender.

JOEY STYLES: Phoenix with a big right hand!

P. LICKIN:Phoenix is full of ruthless aggression! He's an animal!

JOEY STYLES: ...

Phoenix stares at his fist in astonishment. At ringside, Rico pushes himself up to a seated position and shouts out praise. Phoenix spins to look at him, and in the process, nails Grande with an accidental boot to the head as the wolf was getting to his knees.

JOEY STYLES: Phoenix with another shot, and I don't even think he realizes it!

P. LICKIN:Do not underestimate the fierce intelligence of the cerebral assassin in that ring!

JOEY STYLES: ...

Rico jumps to his feet and cheers for Phoenix to punch him again. Phoenix seems unsure, bu as Lobo gets back to his feet, Phoenix hesitantly approaches and throws another punch. Grande goes for his own punch, but Phoenix instinctively blocks it and counter punches. With Rico directing traffic, Phoenix connects with a dropkick of his own.

JOEY STYLES: Phoenix getting revenge for his fallen mentor!

P. LICKIN:We could be looking at the next middleweight champion!

JOEY STYLES: ...

Rico continues yelling out instructions, and at his prompting, Phoenix lands a body slam, and covers for 2.

JOEY STYLES: I can't believe I'm saying this, but Phoenix with a near fall!

P. LICKIN:Phoenix is a shark who smells blood in the water!

JOEY STYLES: ...

At Rico's direction, Phoenix pulls El Lobo up and goes for a whip, but Grande reverses and lands a short arm clothesline, then springs onto the middle rope and comes off with a somersault leg drop.

JOEY STYLES: El Lobo Grande finally gets something going in this match.

P. LICKIN:A blip on the radar. Phoenix has this one...

Grande covers, but Phoenix just gets a shoulder up. Lobo runs the ropes as Phoenix pulls himself up and looks to Rico for counsel. Rico screams to duck, and Phoenix complies, just avoiding a clothesline. Rico mimes for Phoenix to follow suit, and Phoenix does so.

JOEY STYLES: Somehow Phoenix is still in this match!

P. LICKIN:Phoenix making history tonight!

JOEY STYLES: ...

As Rico continues to shout instructions, Phoenix lands an inverted atomic drop, then hooks El Lobo for a double arm DDT.

JOEY STYLES: OH MY GOD! Phoenix is going for the Leave Me Alone!

P. LICKIN:Ball game! Phoenix is a ... first ballot... hall of fame... pssh! Haha! Hahahahaha!

El Lobo Grande twists free and nails a step up enziguri. He hits the ropes as Phoenix struggles up, connecting with a triple jump moonsault.

P. LICKIN:Hahahahaha!

JOEY STYLES: El Lobo Grande with a major flurry as my broadcast colleague apparently loses what was left of his mind!

P. LICKIN:Oh! Oh! Oh! I had you going, Joey, you really bought it! You thought I thought Phoenix was a legitimate... wrestlers! Hahahaha!

El Lobo Grande pulls Phoenix up, whips him into the corner, and follows with a massive Stinger Splash. He whips Phoenix into the opposite corner and repeats the process. Phoenix collapses out of the corner, but Grande catches him on the way down, cinches him, spins him into the center of the ring, and nails a brutal powerbomb. Grande keeps his hands clenched and pulls Phoenix up into another powerbomb, and another.

JOEY STYLES: El Lobo Grande with a brutal triple powerbomb! He's know for his aerial assault, but he can damn sure power wrestle when matched against an opponent of a similar size!

P. LICKIN:He's probably looking to make a statement after Phoenix had the audacity to get so much offense... Plus, if he overheard my commentary, he may well kill that little bastard! Hahahaha!

Rico tries to offer Phoenix some encouragement, but Phoenix is out of it. He barely pushes himself up to a seated position when Grande runs in with a Shining Wizard.

JOEY STYLES: Alpha Bite!

Grande up top with a split leg corkscrew moonsault.

JOEY STYLES: El Lobo Loco! Cover!

P. LICKIN:That's all she wrote!

The ref counts as Grande covers ".1 ..2 ...3!!!"

JOEY STYLES: The winner of this match via pin fall, El Lobo Grande! )-)-)

Winner: El Lobo Grande wins

(The VWF goes to commercial...)

(The VWF returns from commercial...)

JOHNNY AGGRESSION SEGMENT

The lights in the arena go dark as everyone looks around confused on what is going on.

JOEY STYLES: What is going on here.

P. LICKIN: Just five more minutes with the lights off is all I need.

JOEY STYLES: P what the hell are you doing.

P. LICKIN: Joey shut up

A bright white stage light shines on the entrance

P. LICKIN: Ohh that was incredible

JOEY STYLES: What did you do P

P. LICKIN: Just made and finished an awesome sandwich

JOEY STYLES: Is that mayo on your hand

P. LICKIN: Yeah......

Five drones appear covered in white come from behind the curtain pushing an all white casket down to ringside. The men then lift the casket and slide it into the center of the ring. The drones start to walk back to the entrance and all of them stand in a single line. One drone has a mic.

DRONE: The Icon is dead. Long live The White Knight

The crowd in the VWF looks confused as does Joey Styles and P. Lickin.

JOEY STYLES: Who the hell is the white knight. Isn't the Icon....

All of a sudden the casket is struck by a thunderbolt and the lid of the casket is broken

P. LICKIN: Holy shit

Johnny Aggression sits up and the crowd goes wild as they see The Icon wearing all white.

JOEY STYLES: I don't believe it P. Its Johnny Aggression. Hes back. The Icon is back.

Johnny gets out of the casket and raises his arm in the air. The lights go back on and the crowd hasn't stopped cheering Johnny's name.

P. LICKIN: I thought your not suppose to wear white after labor day?

Johnny then gets on the turnbuckle and tries to pump the crowd up more. He then grabs a mic and the crowd still cheers for The Icon. Crowd slowly dies down.

JOHNNY AGGRESSION: For those who don't know me. My name is Johnny Aggression....

The crowd gets louder....

JOHNNY AGGRESSION: And for those who know me.... Your in for a treat...

JOEY STYLES: He almost looks better than ever

JOHNNY AGGRESSION: Now lets get this straight. A lot of you who knew me are probably wondering "Hey Johnny whats with the all white." Well in my time off I have been through a lot of things. Sickness, regret, and a lot of other emotions when I left the VWF on my highest note. So I decided to do some soul searching so to say. I decided to travel around to see what I could find out of life. I went to different countries saw a bunch of things, but in the end I still felt like something was missing. So then i'm sitting home and I see a promo for the VWF on TV and I think of all the highlights that I used to have and the enjoyment I used to get when my hand was raised after the match. So then I popped in my old highlight tape and saw my early career where I would cheat to get wins and that is when it hit me. I don't need to do that anymore. So then it was like I saw the light..... The White Light. So from here on out. The Icon is no more. I am now Johnny Aggression.... The White Knight of the VWF.

The crowd cheers and applauds Johnny.

P. LICKIN: That ego still hasn't changed though

JOHNNY AGGRESSION: So in my time off I was looking at the Full House card for the night and I saw that there was a vacant title up for grabs and it was the title that made my career what it is today and that's The United States Championship. So I thought to myself. If were going to have a vacant match. Why the hell can't I be apart of that match. And I looked the names. Alexander Cage and Enigma. I couldn't get over it. I know both these superstars and I feel that this match was not up to the United States title hype. So I guess this is out to both you guys if your watching. Which I know you are. I will be watching your match. I will become number one contender for The United States Championship and I will be without of a doubt the best man that ever wore that belt. I bid you all a good day.

Johnny drops the mic and the crowd cheers for him.

JOEY STYLES: I can't believe Johnny Aggression is back.

Johnny gets out of the ring and walks back to the entrance and raises his arm one last time for the crowd as he walks backstage.

(The VWF goes to commercial...)

(The VWF returns from commercial...)

Alexander Cage Vs. Mr. Enigma
United States Championship

(-(-( P. LICKIN: So I told them right then and there, if you ever use pancake batter again, clean up afterward.

JOEY STYLES: I can only imagine what the E.R. nurse was thinking when she saw that.

P. LICKIN: I think she's a truck stop waitress in Tupelo now. You don't come back from a sight like that.

JOEY STYLES: I can imagine. Well, that aside, it's time for the United States Championship match. Mr. Enigma and Alexander Cage will be battling it out and we will have a champion at the end of this match.

P. LICKIN: My prediction? One of these guys goes home the champion tonight, Styles.

JOEY STYLES: Uh, that's what I just said, Licken.

P. LICKIN: Don't believe me??? $50 says I'm right!!

JOEY STYLES: Gimme a break.

P. LICKIN: Okay... (rummages around in his pockets).. $50 and twenty five... uh... (looks again).... twenty-SEVEN cents.

JOEY STYLES: (sighing) Let's just go up to the ring.

["Wentches and Kings" by Linkin Park begins to play as white smoke fills the entrance way.]

TINA PETERSON: Ladies and gentlemen, this match is for one fall and is for the VWF UNITED STATES CHAMPIONSHIP!!!! Introducing first, from Los Angeles, California and weighing in at TWO-HUNDRED-FOURTEEN POUNDS.... ALEEEEXXXANNNDERRRR CAAAAAAAAGE!!!!!!

(A stroke light begins to tear through the smoke as a dark figure steps into the smoke. Alexander Cage stands in the smoke, his retired MMA Title belt around his waist and a towel over his head. He holds his head down as he makes his way to the ring. Cage climbs up the steps and stops on the apron. He removes the towel over his head and grips it tight as he gets into the ring. As soon as he is in the ring he begins to spin the towel like a helicopter then suddenly lets it go to the crowd. The music dies down as he makes his way to his corner.)

(As the lights go out all over the arena, "She Got It Remix" by Hurt begins to play.)

TINA PETERSON: AND HIS OPPONENT!!.... from Jacksonville, Florida.... weighing in at TWO HUNDRED FIFTY POUNDS OF PURE HELL....THE ENIGMATIC AGENT OF CHAOS....MR. EEEEEEEENIGMAAAAAA!!!!

(As Enigma takes the stage, standing atop the ramp, the fans go insane with some chanting his name and others booing him. The pyro begins to fall from above and also sparks up from below as Enigma blows out a huge puff of smoke. With that, Enigma begins his slow methodical pace to the ring. He makes his way to the ring and then paces around the ring looking eerily at the fans as he makes his way around and back to the ring steps. He then climbs into the ring, removes his hood and then his robe and sites in the corner awaiting the next move with complete focus in his eyes and utter grave intent in his heart for his opponent.)

JOEY STYLES: Both me in the ring and accounted for and I'm really looking forward to which one of these men will make their mark as the next United States Champion.

P. LICKIN: I'm definitely going with Mr. Enigma... or maybe Alexander Cage... one of those two for sure!!

JOEY STYLES: Mr. Enigma CHARGES THE CORNER! Two quick elbow shots to the kidneys as Enigma pulls him off the turnbuckle. Quick knife edge chop. And another.

(SFX: DING DING DING)

P. LICKIN: Smart! Here we go!

JOEY STYLES: Cage having none of it! He’s powering out of the corner with repeated rights and lefts. Enigma is backing away and avoiding each strike but this takes him clear across the ring until Cage SQUASHES Enigma in the corner.

P. LICKIN: C’mon ref! Closed fist! Fist! FISTS!

JOEY STYLES: Cage laying in with stiff rights and lefts.

(As Cage lays into Enigma in the corner, the referee begins his count.)

P. LICKIN: He’s seeing red, Styles. Last time I saw red, it took WEEKS for that antibiotic to clear it up.

JOEY STYLES: I think you’re right. Wait, what??

P. LICKIN: Uhh, nothing. Cage better be careful not to get disqualified!

(Cage snarls and backs off at four, pacing around the ring. Enigma checks his ribs before using the ring ropes to pull himself to his feet. He just smiles at Cage.)

JOEY STYLES: And Cage charges! But Enigma bails as Cage swipes wildly for his hair. Enigma trying to regroup on the outside. Is… he talking to a fan?

(Enigma is jaw jacking with the fan in the front row that has the “Alexander Cage won my heart” sign. Enigma reaches out and rips the sign up.)

P. LICKIN: Look at that. Enigma is such a nice guy, reaching out to our fans.

(Enigma slides back in the ring quickly as Cage pounces, stomping on the back of his neck as Enigma fights to his feet.)

JOEY STYLES: Irish whip by Cage, no, reversed! Cage back off, shoulder block takes down Enigma. Cage back off the ropes, Enigma ducks down, and Enigma dropkicks Cage in the jaw!And quickly rushes over and locks in a front face headlock. He’s wrenching that hold in.

(Cage struggles for some time to fight to his feet. Once he does, Enigma lets loose with a knee to the face.)

JOEY STYLES: Cage rocked, but he charges shoulder first and lifts Enigma off his feet! No! Enigma wisely escapes down the back and locks in a rear waist lock. I think Cage was going for a Northern Lights variation right there, trying to stop Enigma’s chicanery.

(Cage reaches down and tries to unclasp Enigma’s locked hands from around his waist. Enigma counters and lifts Cage, planting him face first on the mat before floating over back into the front face lock. Cage slams his foot against the mat in a slow rhythm.)

JOEY STYLES: Enigma slowing it down a little bit with a hold that wears down the opponent for his patented Florida Flatliner. He's trying to keep him grounded, focusing on his neck.

(Cage struggles and is able to get to his knees, hands free. He begins to swing both hands out and strike Enigma in the gut with his forearms.)

JOEY STYLES: Cage with a couple of stiff strikes to Enigma’s mid section. And another dual hand slapped shot to Enigma’s gut. A third breaks the hold, and Cage charges! He shoves Enigma to the mat back first and dives on top. Cage begins to lift and slam him into the mat in quick successions! He ends this with a STIFF right hand to the face.

(The ref pulls Cage to face him and yells at him about closed fists.)

P. LICKIN: Ha! Ref in his face. SERVES HIM RIGHT!

JOEY STYLES: The ref is obviously not going to uphold an MMA fight in this ring. If Cage continues throwing closed fists, he’s going to give Enigma what he wants.

P. LICKIN: A tuna melt?? Because if so, maybe I could get one. I've really got a hankerin'.

JOEY STYLES: LOW BLOW! Enigma groggy. Grabs Cage and NICE belly to back suplex! Enigma pops up and raises his hands out to brag. He dives on top for the cover.

(Crowd boos.)

ONE!!

TWO!!

JOEY STYLES: Kickout! Enigma lifts Cage and irish whip to the corner. Enigma smiles, and charges for a shoulder tackle, but Cage moves! And Enigma’s shoulder strikes the ring post!

P. LICKIN: Painful mistake for Enigma. Cage should look to capitalize on it!

JOEY STYLES: Enigma gets out of the corner and turns around, clutching that shoulder, but Cage charges and clotheslines Enigma up and over the top to the outside. He doesn’t let up, climbs outside and SHOVES Enigma shoulder first into the turnbuckle.

P. LICKIN: I’m starting to like him.

(The crowd cheering cuts down considerably as Cage lifts Enigma and shoves him into the ring post a third time. Cage grabs Enigma and pushes him under the bottom rope back inside.)

JOEY STYLES: Cage’s methods here may seem unethical, but he saw a weakness and he’s exploiting it. Plus, it won’t let Enigma waste any more time in this match locking in that front face lock.

P. LICKIN: Hey, if that front facelock leads to the Florida Flatliner and a win, then it's sound strategy. We're not here to score points. We're here to pin shoulders to mats... er... the mat.... whatever!

JOEY STYLES: Enigma backing up, and Cage is stalking his prey! Cage reaches down, but Enigma with a drop toe hold. He cinches in the front facelock and he’s going for the Florida Flatliner! He’s got him up!!

P. LICKIN: Wait, no!! Cage's leg caught the top rope!

JOEY STYLES: Enigma can't get him up now and has to set him back down and let loose!

P. LICKIN: Now they're back face to face and no worse for the wear, but that was close...

(Cage grabs the bottom rope for balance and Mr. Enigma gets back to his feet after dropping to the mat upon releasing the hold. Both men back off and reset.)

JOEY STYLES: We’re about eight minutes into this match. It’ll be interesting to see how these two change their strategies as this match moves along.

P. LICKIN: That $50 is almost mine! Get ready to pay up, Styles!

JOEY STYLES: You just don't make a single bit of sense sometimes....... Collar and elbow, Enigma into a side headlock, but he can’t keep the hold wrenched! Cage ducks down and drops Enigma in a German!

One!

TWO!!

P. LICKIN: Enigma kicks out! Phew. You know I really need that fifty on this match. It’s either Enigma wins or I don’t have the internet for a month.

JOEY STYLES: You tried to bet both ways!!

P. LICKIN: Don't try and back out on me now, Styles!! This is high stakes for me, dammit!

JOEY STYLES: Alexander grabs Enigma and lifts him… stall… stall… Vertical suplex drop!

One!

TWO!!

P. LICKIN: And another kick out! C’mon Enigma! You can do it!

JOEY STYLES: Enigma lifted to his feet by his arm, short arm shoulder block! And Enigma lets out a cry in pain!

(Enigma falls to the mat from the shoulder block and rolls out of the ring. He clutches his shoulder and looks back to the ring, before snarling.)

JOEY STYLES: Is Enigma… leaving?

P. LICKIN: SMART! He can't win the United States Championship that way, but let's not get caught up in details....

JOEY STYLES: Cage doesn’t have the time to waste! He slides out of the ring and charges toward Enigma! He grabs him from behind, but Enigma drop toe holds a charging Cage onto the concrete!

(Enigma smiles as he stands to his feet. He lets loose with a quick stomp to the back of Cage’s skull. And another. And another. Enigma grabs Cage and shoves him back first into the guard rail before cracking him with a stiff left to the jaw.)

JOEY STYLES: Enigma used his ploy to take advantage of a frustrated and steamed Cage. Enigma with an irish whip into the steel steps! Enigma is favoring that shoulder after taking some serious impact on it earlier in the match. The whiplash from an irish whip on your shoulder can snap tendons if you've done enough damage beforehand.

(Cage using the ring apron to climb to his feet, slides in under the bottom rope. Enigma, feeling in control, re-enters the ring.)

JOEY STYLES: Enigma with a dropkick to Cage’s knees. And a huge leg drop across the back of Cage's neck! Enigma lifts him up, hooks him in a front headlock!

P. LICKIN: Enigma in control...

JOEY STYLES: He’s going for a high angle DDT! He lifts, but Cage slips out! Enigma eats the canvas back first by himself, and then eats a diving Cage’s elbow to his gut! Cage hobbles to his feet and strikes again! One more time, this time targeted to Enigma’s shoulder! And Alexander puts his elbow into Enigma’s hurt shoulder as he makes a pin.

One!

TWO!!

P. LICKIN: FOOT ON THE ROPES REF!

JOEY STYLES: Cage showing the strategy of a veteran there putting pressure on Enigma’s injury even during a pin attempt, not letting him rest...... Alexander lifting Enigma onto his shoulders. He charges, looking for a power slam, but Enigma ducks out the back, shoving him chest first into the turnbuckle. As Cage stumbles out, Enigma catches him with an uncharacteristic enzeguri!

P. LICKIN: Enigma has to adapt. And Enigma is able to do that because there’s no doubt he’s been in this position before.

JOEY STYLES: Enigma still favoring that shoulder. He painfully lifts Cage into the corner and uses his good shoulder to lift him and prop him on the top rope, seated. Enigma to the second rope… no.

P. LICKIN: This is eerily reminiscent of a night I had once in Baden Baden...

JOEY STYLES: FOCUS!

P. LICKIN: Sorry! It was traumatic.

JOEY STYLES: He can’t lift Cage at this point in a conventional way! He hooks him… HIGH ANGLE DDT! OFF THE SECOND ROPE! Cage is OUT! Enigma with the cover.

(Enigma drops onto Cage back first to comfortably brace his shoulder.)

ONE!

TWO!!

JOEY STYLES: FOOT ON THE ROPES!

P. LICKIN: I say that line better.

JOEY STYLES: Enigma is growing frustrated. He tries to drag Cage out from the ropes to the center of the ring. It takes him a bit due to his bum shoulder.

ONE!

TWO!

JOEY STYLES: KICKOUT! Enigma slaps the mat in frustration as Cage rolls over onto his stomach. Enigma up and he's dragging Cage to his feet. Cage with a surprise roundhouse kick to the shoulder!! Enigma screams out in pain!! Cage with a kick to the gut!!

P. LICKIN: Right in the peanuts!!!

JOEY STYLES: Cage up to his feet with Enigma doubled over.... STOMP TO THE HEAD!!!! ROARING ELBOW!!!!

P. LICKIN: YOU JUST GOT (K)nocked (T)he (F)*** (O)ut!!!!

JOEY STYLES: Enigma is out.... here's the cover.....

The ref counts ".1 ..2 ...3!!!"

THAT DID IT!! Alexander Cage is the new UNITED STATES CHAMPION!!

P. LICKIN: YES!! I GET TO KEEP MY CABLE!!

JOEY STYLES: I thought you were cheering for Enigma!!

P. LICKIN: Joey, as a friend, I must say, no one likes a man who welches on a bet...

JOEY STYLES: I'm not paying you a thing! Ladies and gentlemen, you saw it right here... Alexander Cage is the new United States Champion.... more after this!!!

(The camera lingers on Alexander Cage, clutching at his ribs with one hand while holding the United States Championship with the other as the ref raises that arm in the air. Enigma, meanwhile is out like a light.) )-)-)

Winner: Alexander Cage wins the United States Championship

(The VWF goes to commercial...)

(The VWF returns from commercial...)

COLE LEGULA SEGMENT

The video feed cuts backstage where Kyle Bacon is standing next to a new face to the VWF audience.

KYLE BACON: Generally, you have to take professional wrestling rumors with a grain of salt, but let me tell you, this one is rock solid. You may have read the so-called spoilers online and thought it couldn't happen, but it's true. What you have heard is true. Viking Wrestling is proud to announce they have signed, young independent circuit phenomenon, Cole Legula. In fact, to prove it to the world now, let me welcome you all to Cole Legula, with his first interview on a VWF program.

The camera pans out revealing an athletic-looking twenty-something with long dirty-blonde hair and a duffel bag slung over his shoulder.

COLE LEGULA: Wow, Kyle, that was quite the introduction, and really, I'm not sure I deserve all that praise. I really do appreciate the kind reception Viking Wrestling and it's fans has given me. Heck, once the ink on my contract dried, my Twitter followers quadrupled, but I just showed up here. And this is a big place - much bigger than I am used to. I just want to go out and put on a good match. I hope all this hype and expectation doesn't get in the way of that.

KYLE BACON: Where you were before – that was WCWA right? It was a local Chicago-based promotion, right?

COLE LEGULA: That's right. I've been wrestling right here in Chicago all my life, and I have the people of this great city to thank for my career as a wrestler. Now they've brought me to the big show.

KYLE BACON: What happened to WCWA?

COLE LEGULA: Unfortunately, it had to close not too long ago. Bills and things were piling up and the owner couldn't keep the lights on. It's just the nature of the beast. But I am moving on and looking forward to my career here in Viking Wrestling.

KYLE BACON: The owner of WCWA – that was your uncle, right?

COLE LEGULA: That's right. That's how I got into the business. I was introduced young, tearing down the right and such, and then eventually I found myself hitting the ropes and selling tickets. It was certainly hard work, but I am in Viking Wrestling now, so it's all paid off.

KYLE BACON: And we are glad to have you here too, Cole. We'll be looking forward to your debut. COLE LEGULA: Thank you, Kyle.

(The VWF goes to commercial...)

(The VWF returns from commercial...)

TD Alexander (c) and Scott DiBiase (c)
Vs.
Crimson Lightening (c) and Dimitri Sergeyevich

(-(-( "Happy Little Boozer" by Korpiklaani hits on the PA and Dimitri Sergeyevich stumbles to the ring with Aleksandr Pushkin close behind. There is an unsteadiness in their step as they make their way to the ring steps, pausing before climbing into the ring.

JOEY STYLES: Is it just me, or is Dimitri seem like he's had one too many tonight?

P. LICKIN: You talking about beer?

JOEY STYLES: Well... yes.

P. LICKIN: Cause if it was too many dicks I would think you'd be talking about your mother.

JOEY STYLES: P!

P. LICKIN: Yeah, she's probably been peed on too...

(The VikingTron flickers to life, as thunder rolls and "All of the Lights" hits as the crowd gets to it's feet...)



("The American Storm," Crimson Lightening, Alex Thunder, Chris Monsoon and Red Tornado all come out, looking on as a chorus of boos comes out of the crowd. Crimson Lightening has the Intercontinental Belt around his waist as they come out at the top of the ramp. They stalk down the ramp, smirking as they reach ringside and all roll in the ring. They hit the four corners of the ring and pose, as the crowd continues to boo loudly. They all hop down and high five each other in the middle of the ring as the music subsides and the crowd sits down.)

JOEY STYLES: Crimson Lightening may have lost the World Heavyweight Championship last Full House to TD Alexander, but he doesn't seem to have lost a step.

P. LICKIN: I want to do things... to Red Tornado... that would land me in jail.

The lights go out and are replaced red and white spotlights as "Crawling in the Dark" by Hoobastank hits the sound system, nearly drowned out by the boos and jeers from the crowd. Mr. Sandoval steps onto the stage and surveys the crowd with an indifferent glare as Scott DiBiase walks out, illuminated by a red maple leaf-shaped spotlight. Flanked by Mr. Sandoval as he slowly walks down the aisle, Scott smirks as the fans on either side of the aisle spew hostile invectives and throw debris in his path.

Ring Announcer: Approaching the ring at this time, he is your Eurocontinental Champion... hailing from Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada! Weighing in at two hundred and forty-eight pounds and standing six feet, two inches tall... Scott DiBiase!

Scott climbs up the ring steps and steps through the top and middle ropes to enter the ring. He climbs the turnbuckle facing the camera and drinks in the hostility from the audience and mocks the crowd with an exaggerated aristocratic bow. Scott jumps down from the turnbuckle and trades insults with some particularly rowdy audience members in the front row.

JOEY STYLES: Scott DiBiase has looked fresh and in shape since his return, hasn't he, P?

P. LICKIN: Just like the song? So Fresh and so Clean, clean? You make me sick Joey.

JOEY STYLES: Huh?

P. LICKIN: You're a pervert. Keep it in your pants there, pele.

JOEY STYLES: ......

“Tear Away” by Drowning Pool hits the loudspeakers as the fans in attendance commences to boo. A moment or so passes before TD shows up on the entranceway, wearing a hooded vest. He has his head down until the word “BREAK” is blared over the airwaves as he raises his head and throws his arms wide open.

Ring Announcer: Approaching the ring at this time, he is your VWF World Heavyweigt Champion... hailing from Knoxville, TN! Weighing in at two hundred and forty pounds and standing six feet, one inch tall... TD ALEXANDER!

He holds this position until the pyro behind him goes off and he strolls down to the ring, with the fans hissing the entire time. Once in the ring, TD lowers the hood and opens his arms once more, again, with more pyrotechnics going off behind him. He removes the garment and cracks his neck, waiting for the match to begin.

JOEY STYLES: And the longest entrance sequence in VWF history has just ended.

P. LICKIN: Somehow this is Rico's fault. I can feel it.

Crimson and TD start off in the ring as the bell rings. They circle each other a bit and lock up. Crimson gets the upper hand with a side headlock. TD shoves Crimson into the ropes. TD goes for a clothesline but Crimson ducks and goes to the opposite ropes. TD turns around and hits a back elbow on Crimson. TD covers. The ref counts 1...2... kickout. TD picks Crimson's head up and locks in a headlock. Crimson powers to his feet and hits a few elbows to the midsection. Crimson picks up TD and hits a backdrop suplex. Both men roll away from each other. Crimson tags in Dimitri. TD tags in DiBiase. DiBiase charges at Dimtri, hitting a clothesline. DiBiase grabs Crimson from behind and shoves him out of the ring. DiBiase turns around and eats a clothesline from Dimitri.

JOEY STYLES: There's so many clotheslines in this match, they're going to start hanging laundry!

P. LICKIN: Your mom and I DO make a mess of the sheets. Good thinking, Joey.

JOEY STYLES: .... I hate you.

Dimtri puts the boots to DiBiase. Dimitri picks up DiBiase and shoots him to the turnbuckle. Dimitri charges in, but DiBiase moves aside and Dimitri hits the corner. DiBiase hits a bulldog and covers. The ref counts 1...2... kickout. DiBiase hooks the leg and covers again. The ref counts. 1...2.... kickout. DiBiase picks Dimitri up. Dimitri breaks the hold and hits a right. DiBiase hits his own right. They exchange blows until Dimitri kicks DiBiase to the midsection and hits a swinging neckbreaker. Dimitri grabs DiBiase's boot and tags in Crimson. Crimson climbs the turnbuckle and comes off, hitting a knee drop on DiBiase. Crimson covers. The ref counts 1... kickout. Crimson picks DiBiase up and hits a snapmare. Crimson goes to the ropes and comes off, going for a baseball kick, but DiBiase rolls out of the way. Crimson gets to his feat and charges DiBiase. DiBiase ducks again, and pulls down the ropes and Crimson sails over and to the outside. Crimson crawls to the crowd barrier and pulls himself up. DiBiase gets on the apron and runs off, hitting a flying cross-body on Crimson sandwhiching him on the crowd barrier. The crowd cheers as the two men lay on the outside.

JOEY STYLES: DiBiase taking to the air in a rare manuever for him.

P. LICKIN: I got mad air last night.

JOEY STYLES: Oh? Where.

P. LICKIN: In your bed.

JOEY STYLES: My bed?

P. LICKIN: Yeah. The sheets in your mom's room were dirty. We didn't have enough clotheslines.

JOEY STYLES: ....

DiBiase and Crimson are up. Dimitri grabs Crimson and goes to shoot him into the steel stairs, but Crimson reverses it and sends DiBiase instead. Crimson rolls in the ring to break the count then rolls back out. Dimitri grabs DiBiase's head and smashes it on the stairs. DiBiase staggers forward, and Crimson hits an open butterhook, sending DiBiase flying back into the apron. Crimson grabs DiBiase and rolls him in the ring. Crimson hops on the apron and picks DiBiase up, putting his head and chest across the second rope. Crimson grabs his head and jumps down, snapping him back into the middle of the ring. Crimson hops back on the apron, slowly chanting to the crowd "U..S..A" as they boo. Crimson climbs the turnbuckle and jumps off, hitting the HIGH FEAVER ON SCOTT DIBIASE! Crimson hooks the leg. The ref counts 1...2... TD Alexander runs in and breaks up the count. The ref gets TD back in his corner as Crimson picks up DiBiase and shoves him in the corner, putting the boots to him. Crimson takes a few steps back, and charges in. DiBiase puts a boot up, catching Crimson in the chin. Crimson staggers backwards. DiBiase quickly charges forward and kicks Crimson to the midsection and hits the STOCK MARKET CRASH! Both men are down as the crowd cheers.

P. LICKIN: Both men are down harder than Lindsay Lohan in rehab.

DiBiase stirs first. He starts to crawl over to TD to make the tag. Crimson stirs and moves towards Dimitri. Both men lunge and make the hot tag. TD charges in as Dimitri also hops in the ring. TD hits a clothesline in Dimitri. Dimitri pops up and TD hits another clothesline. Dimitri pops up a third time and TD hits him again. TD goes over to Crimson and picks him up. TD shoots Crimson into the corner then chops him to the chest, getting a big "Woo!" from the crowd. Dimitri stirs, shakes his head and goes to grab TD from behind, but DiBiase gets Dimitri from behind around the waist, and hits a German suplex. DiBiase holds on and rolls over, picking Dimitri up and hitting a second German suplex. Crimson rakes TD's eyes, making him stagger backward. DiBiase stands up as Crimson steps forward. DiBiase charges at Crimson, hitting a clothesline that takes both men over the top rope to the outside. Dimitri, dazed, pulls himself up on the ropes. TD cleared his vision and grabs Dimitri. Dimitri kicks TD to the midsection and goes for a DDT, but TD counters and hits a jawbreaker. Dimitri staggers back into the ropes, staggers forward and TD grabs him and hits the AWESOMEPLEX 2.0! TD keeps the leg hooked with the bridge making the cover. The ref counts ".1 ..2 ...3!!!" DiBiase rolls back in the ring a the bell rings and the ref holds TD Alexander and Scott DiBiase's hands high as Full House goes off the air... )-)-)

Winner: TD Alexander and Scott DiBiase win