Saturday, August 28, 2010
The Pyros hit at the top of the ramp all the way down to the ring and on the ring posts as Full House begins. The crowd are going bonkers all over the arena and there isn't a fan in his seat in this packed 18500 person arena.
JOEY STYLES: Welcome ladies and gentlemen to VWF Full House! I am Joey Styles...
P. LICKIN: And I am your father.
JOEY STYLES: No you're not!
P. LICKIN: Quiet boy, or I'll chop off your hand and force you to make out with your sister.
(-(-(
Whole bunch of flipping and high fiving goes on as "Mighty Morphin 'Rasslin Rangers' blares through the PA system. The Black Black Ranger, New Blue Ranger and Herbal Green Ranger does some hip break dancing moves on their way to the ring.
JOEY STYLES: The new World Tag-Team Champions look ready to compete, P.
P. LICKIN: That Blue Ranger looks different somehow...
The lights go dim and "Thriller" plays. Zombie Shovelman comes out with his shovel and kneels on one knee with shovel extended. When the singer sings, the pyro erupts behind him and he comes dancing down the ramp to "Thriller" with Zombie Bob Hope behind him.
P. LICKIN: I love Zombie Shovelman.
JOEY STYLES: Why?
P. LICKIN: Reminds me of myself. I have a big bone and a taste for fine women.
Zombie Bob Hope and Black Black Ranger start out. They circle each other as the bell rings. They lock up, but Bob tries to bite Black Black. Black Black shoves him off, and Bob rolls backwards into the corner. Bob growls as Black mutters "Screw this" and does some hand motions with his hands. New Blue and Herbal Green toss their side arms to Black Black, as Pretty Pink and Redundant Red come out of the crowd, throwing their side arms to Black Black as well. Black swipes his hands all around, forming the Power Blaster! Zombie Bob Hope charges, and Black Black shoots, hitting Zombie Bob Hope and blasting him to dust. Black Black stands on the charred remains of Zombie Bob Hope as Zombie Shovelman hops off the apron with his hands up. The ref shrugs and counts ".1 ..2 ...3!!!" )-)-)
Vs.
"The Zombies"
Zombie Shovelman and Zombie Bob Hope
World Tag-Team Championships
(The VikingTron comes on, as the lights dim, and a voice can be heard over the speakers...)
Wham! My head throbbed in pain. The stench of my own body odor filled my nostrils. I fell to my knees, skin tore open. Blood dripped down my left leg as my face was smashed into the grass.
The cold steel clasped against my wrists. I was jerked up onto my feet. The blue and red lights blinded me. What a mistake. What a ritual.
My tattered clothes rubbed against my irritated skin. The officer pushed my head down as I fell into the back seat.
I had been caught drunk in public… again. Next week, I want to make a change when I make my debut. Hopefully I remember... it's Lee Longpre... Lee Longpre... Lee... Longpre.
(The VWF goes to commercial...)
(The VWF returns from commercial...)
(-(-(
Not even Redundant Red at ringside could help Yellow against the wrath of Scott DiBiase, who looked to get even after losing the Tag Team, Eurocontinental, and Britannia Heavyweight Championships all on one night. His struggle does not seem to affect DiBiase as he gets full control from the start, tossing around the poor Rang—
P. LICKIN: Don’t say it, Joey. Thomas Halloway might come out and kill someone.
JOEY STYLES: (muttering) I hope it’s you.
P. LICKIN: What was that, Joey?
JOEY STYLES: What? Oh, nothing. (mutters) Loser.
P. LICKIN: That’s not what your mom said, Joey.
Scott lands a flurry of offense on Yellow early on, but instead of going for the pin he continues to toy with him. He even goads Red into the ring, who walks right into a snap suplex ONTO Yellow! Yellow is writhing in pain as Scott puts him into the Million Dollar Dream! Ever the fighter, Yellow refuses to tap out…but it is only a matter of time before he fades away, forcing the ref to call for the bell! The ref raises Scott’s arm in victory before checking on Yellow, who finally comes to. Red helps Yellow out of the ring, both of them glaring at Scott as they make their way back up the ramp.
)-)-)
King of the Ring Tournament
The lights go out and are replaced red and white spotlights as "I Am Perfection" by Cage9 hits the sound system. The fans erupt into a frenzy of boos and jeers as Scott DiBiase steps out onto the stage, sporting a cocky smirk and carrying a cloth sack while bringing attention to his lack of championship gold.
JOEY STYLES: It was just twelve days ago, P. that Scott DiBiase lost every single championship he had to his name, including the World Tag Team championships which he held, along with Jason Lee for a full year after winning the belts last year at Killer Instinct. He kinda looks naked without any belts, doesn't he?
P. LICKIN: ...
JOEY STYLES: What?
P. LICKIN: No, that's too easy... just like your mom!
JOEY STYLES: Hey, P! Joel Gertner just called and he wants his face back!
Scott stepped through the ropes and took the microphone from the ring announcer and stood in the center of the ring, savouring every boo and every ounce of abuse the crowd in attendance directed at him.
SCOTT DiBIASE: You must all be loving this. You've waited so long to see me devoid of any championship gold and I'll bet each and every one of you expected me to come out and rant and rave about not having my championships anymore, but I hate to disappoint you. In fact, the Viking King himself held a press conference following Bloodlust, confident I wouldn't be smirking after Crucifiction, well...
The camera focused on DiBiase's wide smirk.
SCOTT DiBIASE: It's still here. The Viking King did everything He could to ensure I didn't leave Crucifiction with a title in my possession. First, He appointed my good friend Lee Ryan...
The crowd erupted into cheers at the mention of "All That" Lee Ryan.
SCOTT DiBIASE: Lee Ryan proved, without a shadow of a doubt, when he officiated my match against Mark Ellingsworth... TD Alexander, whatever the hell he wants to call himself this week, Lee Ryan proved he was no better than me with the blatantly biased officiating job. I know it... you know it... and, most importantly, Lee Ryan knows it! He just couldn't resist the opportunity to screw me over with a fast count and literally hand my Britannia Heavyweight championship to TD Alexander.
The crowd cheers emphatically, but Scott starts laughing in the center of the ring.
SCOTT DiBIASE: But the fact of the matter is Lee Ryan ended up screwing himself! For the past eight months, he and his Neanderthal brother have been trying to take the World Tag Team championships from The Perfect Alliance and by making sure the "Wrasslin' Rangers" left the champions, he has screwed himself out of the satisfaction of ever being able to lay claim to defeating The Perfect Alliance for the World Tag Team championships. You really didn't think that through, did you Lee? And you...
Scott walked the perimeter of the ring, pointing out into the fans.
SCOTT DiBIASE: All of you hypocrites loved every second of it! If our roles were reversed and I screwed over Lee Ryan as the special referee you would have condemned me for it, but because it was your precious hero you love him for it! So much for Lee Ryan's sense of honour.
SCOTT DiBIASE: That brings me to "The Goddess" Alexia. Alexia, I completely understand how you feel about how Bloodlust went down, but you have to keep on very simple fact in mind. It wasn't your match to win! That was my match, Alexia, if there is one person who shouldn't have been involved it is you! You have had opportunity after opportunity at the World Heavyweight championship and you have done everything you could to block my path. Jason was right all along, ever since we let you into The Perfect Alliance, you've had the mentality that it's all about you. But last week at Crucifiction, Alexia, you committed the one unpardonable sin when you cost us the World Tag Team championships. I don't care how much you think you've been wronged, you do not screw with Alliance members!
P. LICKIN: SINCE WHEN?!
SCOTT DiBIASE: Since you obviously cannot think about anything other than what you want at the expense of those who are supposed to be your teammates, our association is now over, Alexia! I sincerely wish you nothing but the best, but I'm warning you... if you ever cross me again, the consequences will be swift and severe.
P. LICKIN: Please say a spanking, please say a spanking!
SCOTT DiBIASE: Dan Ryan... the so-called "Ego Buster" who would call me unoriginal for having the name "DiBiase." Tell me something, Dan... do you think you are the only one who has ever brought up a DiBiase reference? Do you think you are the only one who has ever accused me of being unoriginal just because of some superficial similarities and do you think you are the only one in the VWF whose name happens to be Ryan?
Scott reaches into the cloth sack and pulls out a blackened kettle.
SCOTT DiBIASE: Hello pot, meet the kettle.
Scott nonchalantly tosses the kettle aside.
SCOTT DiBIASE: I normally wouldn't dignify such ingorant comments from such an insignificant waste of talent, but it seems everybody sees a wealthy individual by the name of "DiBiase" who happens to be a professional wrestler and it goes right back to the Million Dollar Man references. Just because I use the Million Dollar Dream I have to be some heretofore unknown relative of Ted DiBiase. Didn't it ever factor into that pathetic mind of yours, Dan, that I use the Million Dollar Dream out of respect for the Million Dollar Man? Just as I use the frog splash out of respect for the late Eddie Guerrero? Obviously, such a concept is beyond your comprehension so I'll deliver my message in words I know you'll understand... nice and slow.
Scott looks directly into the camera.
SCOTT DiBIASE: Me take shiny belt!
JOEY STYLES: Whoa! Now wait just a minute! Wasn't Scott paying attention when the Viking King emphatically told us Scott wouldn't get a title shot which he hasn't earned?
P. LICKIN: Hasn't earned? He's a three time champion, Styles! Only four people in the history of the VWF have accomplished that and, last time I checked, the Viking King wasn't one of them!
SCOTT DiBIASE: Finally, there's our World Heavyweight champion... the "King of Sexy" Jonny Cedrone.
The crowd erupts at the mention of the World Heavyweight champion and a defeaning "JON-NY! JON-NY! JON-NY!" chant echoes through-out the arena.
SCOTT DiBIASE: What I want from you Jonny, is to tell me what you really feel. You're not angry at me for being the Masked Man, making your life a living Hell and convincing you that I had your back in uncovering his identity, you're angry at yourself for not having any clue that I was playing you from the start. You couldn't possibly imagine how much it disgusted me to look into your eyes, force a smile onto my face and extend my hand, showering you with compliments of respect and support while inside all I wanted to do was knock that grin off your face. You're angry because you really thought, when you strip away all of the competition and the ambitions, that we might be something akin to friends who respected one another, but you're even more sickeningly noble than Lee Ryan if you could ever have convinced yourself that that was true. Every time I put on that mask, I savoured the anticipation of laying my boots into your skull or cracking it open with a lead pipe and, knowing how everything played out, there isn't one thing I would do differently if I had to do it all over again.
The crowd showers Scott with a deafening wave of boos, which nearly drowns out an "ASSHOLE!" chant.
SCOTT DiBIASE: Actually, now that I think of it, there is one thing I would change, Jonny. If I could go back and start this entire exercise over again, I would love to get my hands on that glorious woman of yours.
JOEY STYLES: What a pathetic psychopath! He's really brave when he knows Jonny Cedrone isn't even in the building! I can't wait for the World Heavyweight champion to get his hands on that worthless sack of garbage...
P. LICKIN: There's no need to bring your mom into this, Styles!
JOEY STYLES: Will you shut up, you fat fuck! I have seriously had it with you!
(The VWF goes to commercial...)
(The VWF returns from commercial...)
(-(-(
It’s a battle of the crazy names as Dragon and Crimson lock up, Dragon whipping Crimson against the ropes. On the return, Dragon nails Crimson with an elbow smash followed by a leg drop and the cover. 1…2…kickout by Crimson, who quickly rolls out of the ring to avoid further humiliation. Dragon won’t have any of it though, jumping over the top rope with a big planch on the former Cabo Wabo champ. The crowd is getting into the match now, as…the match gets into the crowd, Dragon and Crimson trying to get the upper hand within the audience.
P. LICKIN: Or as we like to call them, the cast members.
JOEY STYLES: …
They make it back into the ring where Dragon goes for a chop, only to be poked in the eye by Crimson. He follows with a quick rollup, but barely gets a one count before Dragon kicks out. Dragon gets up and hits a hard kick to Crimson’s leg, bringing him to one knee. With Crimson down, Dragon nearly smashes hi s face in with a roundhouse kick!
P. LICKIN: If I didn’t know any better, I’d swear that was a fist underneath Dragon’s beard!
JOEY STYLES: …
P. LICKIN: Would you rather I joke about your mom some more?
JOEY STYLES: Yes…I mean no! No! Sorry, Mom!
Dragon isn’t ready to end there, picking Crimson up to deliver a Spinning Reverse STO! Instead of going for the cover, though, he picks Crimson up again and hits another one! Sensing the end is near, he climbs up the nearest turnbuckle. The crowd is chanting his name as he flies off the top rope, landing a HUGE Shooting Star Press! He goes for the cover: ".1 ..2 ...3!!!" The ref raises Dragon’s arm as Crimson finally comes to. Dragon Demonico has his hand raised as Crimson gets up. Dragon reaches his hand out to shake. Crimson reaches out, but pulls his hand away at the last minute and flips Demonico out. The crowd boos as Crimson chuckles, rolling out of the ring quickly and returning to the back.
)-)-)
(The VWF goes to commercial...)
(The VWF returns from commercial...)
(-(-(
"Hero" by Skillet is finishing up as Lee Ryan stands in the ring with the Eurocontinental Belt around his waist. The fiddles of the familiar Flogging Molly song echo the arena and the fans immediately drown out the sound of the song with a chorus of boo's. As the fast paced vocals begin, the lights dim and JP McManus walks out onto the stage, holding high a Scottish flag, waving it proudly as he walks. He completely ignores the crowd reaction as he begins his walk down the ramp toward the ring. Finally, upon reaching the ring he places the flag in a holder in the turnbuckle and enters the ring. As he climbs to his feet he removes his leather waistcoat and flings it at one of the staff members sat at ringside.
JOEY STYLES: JP McManus looks ready to take on long time VWF Veteran, Lee Ryan.
P. LICKIN: Ah yes... a veteran of the old Diamond league where he was able to capture the Pan Cup 3 times in the Cerlean Circuit.
JOEY STYLES: The... what?
P. LICKIN: Sorry, I talk jibberish when I'm recalling...
JOEY STYLES: Recalling what?
P. LICKIN: Tappin your mom's ass.
JOEY STYLES: .....
P. LICKIN: Hey, you walked right into it.
JOEY STYLES: No I didn't!
P. LICKIN: Just what your mom said when I poked her {b}CENSORED[/b]
McManus and Ryan eagerly circle each other to start the match off. The bell rings and unexpectedly, McManus charges at his opponent, but Ryan catches his just in time and power slams his to the mat. Ryan steps back to boast as McManus slowly gets to his feet with a stunned expression. McManus gets up and walks towards him, Ryan gets in his face and both wrestlers begin to argue, McManus steps back away from the regal man and comes back with a punch, which Ryan blocks – but he doesn’t miss the quick thumb in the eye that McManus followed up with, Ryan is taken aback but has no time to adjust as McManus begins an assault that sends Ryan reeling back until he has no more room to step back and the ropes are right behind him. Ryan puhes McManus away and seems to think about getting out of the ring but is able to shake it off. Ryan comes at his overconfident foe with some European uppercuts that sends his back across the ring. However, McManus blocks one and starts to hit some forearms of his own. McManus shoots Ryan to the ropes and goes for a Samoan Kick. Ryan uses his athletisism and is just able to duck away from the foot and land some more European uppercuts to McManus’s ribs. McManus bats away one of Ryan’s strikes and then forces the Ryan to suffer by putting him into a hard bear hug. Ryan, however, is too close to the ropes and is able to grab the ropes.
P. LICKIN: He had that locked on so tight it reminded me of your momma's snatch.
JOEY STYLES: P!
P. LICKIN: Circa 1973 of course.
McManus is forced to break the hold as Ryan steps out of the ring. McManus shakes his head, motioning that Ryan is scared to the crowd. A chorus of boos erupts as McManus goes over the tope rope and out of the ring stalking Ryan, McManus sneaks up behind Ryan and takes a handful of Ryan’s hair bringing him back into a rough reverse head butt! McManus rolls Ryan back in the ring, then argues with a couple fans in the front row. Slowly, McManus climbs into the ring with Ryan on his knees waiting for his, Ryan hits some uppercuts followed by some right and left hooks, Ryan pulls McManus into a sharp DDT and then gets on the top rope hitting McManus with a quick flying head butt as McManus is getting back to hisfeet! McManus falls to the ground on his back and rolls out of the ring just barely making it through the bottom rope, he holds his forehead for a moment. Ryan runs at the ropes, jumping through and hitting a suicide dive, taking both off their feet. The crowd chants "VWF! VWF! VWF!" as Ryan and McManus both pull themselves up. Doring comes at McManus, hitting a few kicks, then locks in a standing chin lock, but McManus fights back, bit by bit, he gains ground for his feet, Ryan whips his head first into the ring pole. Ryan slides in for a rest, breaking the count and waits for his more opponent to get in behind him. The ref brings his count as high as seven before McManus gathiss hisself and climbs into the ring exposing a bloody head and face to the crowd. Ryan is mugging to the crowd again, again giving McManus an upper hand as he runs up behind him, hitting a drop kick and sending him face first into the turnbuckle post, busting him open. Both are now bleeding as Ryan looks confused in the ring. McManus runs at him, hitting a climb up wheel kick from behind. McManus hits a few shoulder thrusts to Ryan's back, then climbs the turnbuckle post. McManus comes off, hitting a tornado DDT on Ryan. McManus covers. The ref counts 1...2... kickout!
P. LICKIN: Lee Ryan taking a pounding!
JOEY STYLES: What, no joke about pounding my mom?
P. LICKIN: Pervert.
McManus gets off of the dazed Ryan and argues with the ref at a slow count. McManus picks up Ryan by the head and hits a snapmare. McManus runs at the ropes and hits a falldown dropkick and covers again. The ref counts 1...2... kickout. McManus puts the boots to Ryan, then goes to the turnbuckle. McManus climbs up, but Ryan recovers and runs up quickly, hitting the a HUGE Belly to Belly suplex off the turbuckle! The crowd goes crazy as Ryan puts an arm over McManus. The ref counts ".1 ..2 ...3!!!" )-)-)
King of the Ring Tournament